Bring your whole self to work

I used to work in places with a similar ethos and tbh I think overall it was helpful when done right and the idea was about creating a supportive team and preventing burn out and an honest culture which was what it did - I'm still friends with all those colleagues even now years after I moved on.

I'm guessing you work in a community based role as they usually promote this concept. And having been through a few redundancy processes with various places I think it's incredibly difficult to navigate this without feeling demotivated and devalued when people feel loyalty to an organisation that is having to cut back in order to save itself. Its a brutal process and I think it's possible to bring yourself to work and support each other while not forgetting you work for something bigger than yourself and that the funding climate is the worst its been in years.

thats the thing, similar with our team all smiles and yea yea from managment then fast forward couple weeks later then its oh by the way your team has a meeting etc hole thing was planed and executed before we even got to the meeting the rest was just fluff

Good God, no. My private life isn't there for the entertainment of others. What a repulsive practice.

Totally agree. Bringing your ‘whole self’ to work can easily be weaponised if there is a toxic work culture. I’ve seen some people protected and put forward because of personal reasons and then others held back for things outside of their work if they’re deemed undesirable. I’m a believer in being a safe, professional version of yourself, separating your self-worth from your career and keeping work transactional to protect your mental health. It can feel very personal in a “bring your whole self to work” culture if things don’t go your way!

Oh, I really dislike this. My work gets the part of me it pays for: the professional who does her job. Everything else in my life is none of the bloody business of some big corporation.

It’s the same as when they say you are family at work. They do that for a reason and as soon as they want you out they stop treating you like family.

It’s absolute bollocks. Hypocritical bollocks at that.

You don’t get paid to share your deepest, darkest secrets. You’re there to work. I’ve worked with some absolutes horrors over the years who would absolutely use personal information to their advantage.

Has anyone been fired for not bringing their whole self to work?

Exactly. This bullshit is made by and for privileged people who have soluble and temporary ‘problems’ who might feel better with a biscuit and a cup of tea and a chat.
They don’t actually want to hear any of the shit things and actual discrimination that goes on day in day out at work.

Oh god ‘mental health first aiders’ what kind of cheap-ass ‘get the drones to shoulder even more’ bollocks is that?! 😡

Haha, yes, we have them where I work too and they’re all people I would cross the street to avoid.

I feel like the initial purpose of the "bring your whole self to work" movement started off well, but it was let down by the phrasing in the end. Really, the original concept was "you shouldn't have to hide huge parts of your life at work for fear of reprisal" and it did a good job, encouraging acceptance of same-sex marriage and understanding of mental health issues and chronic illnesses. I wouldn't worry nearly as much about mentioning a same-sex partner offhandedly in a conversation with a colleague as I used to, so I'd consider that a success.

That said, I really dislike what it has become. The phrase itself has become far too literal, it was never meant to be an encouragement to merge personal life and work life! When I go into work I am there to work, and to do so professionally. I'd actually hate if all of my colleagues and higher-ups had any reason to feel they "know" me on a personal level. There are colleagues I have made friends with, and they do know my "whole self," but I prefer to choose who does and does not get that kind of insight into my life!

First post nails it! x

Yep. When we asked for mental health first aiders we could have won a bet on who would volunteer. Tye says people who want to be fire marshals, staff reps, first aiders etc - the same busy bodies who would be front of the queue to bring their whole selves to work and talk incessantly about themselves.

Im a HR manager and I hate this shit. I just want to do recruitment, deal with genuine issues, be polite and professional then fuck off home.

I hear you OP. What they mean is management can bring their Authentic Self to work in flowery shirts to buy forgiveness for precious harsh practice. It’s complete bollocks and you’re right to not be taken in. ‘We’re a family’, ‘ our people are our greatest asset’, until you actually need something and then BANG you’re just a number.

My whole self thinks that the "c" in c-suite stands for "cunts" and that almost all the senior management are exactly that, and useless into the bargain. The only reason the organisation functions well is because staff are really committed to helping clients, and mostly ignore ridiculous management shite.

I'm not sure that they're ready for that bit of feedback.

Some of my colleagues are bring their wholeself to work atm. I am coming home to my wholesale stressed about their problems that I cannot fix.

I bring my professional self for the 8 hrs a day the company pays for.
I arrive on time & finish on time .

It's these sort of companies who also use wanky (not to mention contradictory) terms such as 'fake it til you make it'... Which can be good advice in principle, BTW, but sort of undermines the whole concept of bringing your whole self.

It'll pass.

I've worked with someone similar!

Bring your whole self simply meant initially that you do not have to hide that you are married to a same sex partner, or that you care for your mum after going home from work. But some companies realised they could use it to manipulate employees. Its no different to companies who used to say we are just like one big family. Its all crap.

This. I have always kept my personal and professional life separate.
I've never worked in an organisation that advocates bringing your whole self to work but I've certainly met a few individuals that have!

Yeah I hate that. My workplace expects us to complete a weekly "check-in" where we rate how happy we are and explain why. Fuck right off. They treat us as worthless numbers and I'm not either giving them a stick to beat me with (an honest rating would be low - I hate my job and only stay because it pays well) or a false happy reading that they can sell to their customers and investors. They aren't interested in our happiness and it would be better if they were honest that our employment is a financial transaction and nothing more.

Inclusivity ..... I mean

IME of working closely with leadership, any personal information shared will always be used against you when necessary. Don’t do it.

I think it can be a relief to leave some of ourselves at home. A chance to take a break from thinking about some stuff can be one of work's advantages.
My whole self would not be a good bet on many days and in many situations.

That said it is nice to understand colleagues as people and promote empathy and inclusively. Most of us make some good connections at work with this approach.

Guess it is all about balance 🌻