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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To expect a restaurant to be able to do a pint of milk?

306 replies

YourAgileBiscuit · 02/03/2025 15:15

My autistic DD (13) will normally only drink milk when we are out in restaurants etc.

Some restaurants (including chain restaurants and pubs/carvery places) get a bit funny about it when she orders/asks for milk though. Even though they already have milk for the kitchen and for teas/coffees. We’ve had some restaurants outright refuse as well even though they have milk in the building.

Is it unreasonable to expect restaurants to be able to serve milk for a paying customer? Of course we pay for her milk, we are not asking for it for free!

I would say about 50% of places we go to get funny about it which I don’t understand as they already have milk in the building.

OP posts:

ThinWomansBrain · 03/03/2025 20:34

arethereanyleftatall · 02/03/2025 15:18

I'm assuming it's not on the menu as a drink?

If it's not, then I would go the other way and say I'm surprised as high as 50% give you it.

Milk has a shelf life of what 2 weeks? So they will have ordered in what they normally need for what's actually on their menu.

if they're serving milk based drinks like lattes, milk shakes etc. it seems illogical not to serve milk alone.
Maybe asking for a regular mug/cup size would throw them less?

biscuitsandbooks · 03/03/2025 20:29

Blimey. It's nice to see people being understanding about autism 🙄

TaylorNotSoSwift · 03/03/2025 20:23

It’s hardly difficult for them to replace a pint of milk if they are running low! I think its entirely reasonable to order milk.

LovelyLeitrim · 03/03/2025 20:23

biscuitsandbooks · 03/03/2025 18:35

Yes, it is. The child has autism and can only drink milk. That's a dietary requirement.

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I don’t think it’s a dietary requirement, drinking milk is her drink of choice.

It’s not a requirement.

ALovelyShadeofMauve · 03/03/2025 20:17

biscuitsandbooks · 03/03/2025 18:35

Yes, it is. The child has autism and can only drink milk. That's a dietary requirement.

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Will only drink milk. That’s not a requirement.

x2boys · 03/03/2025 20:07

biscuitsandbooks · 03/03/2025 18:35

Yes, it is. The child has autism and can only drink milk. That's a dietary requirement.

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Which csn be bought from literally anywhere the restaurant isn't obliged ti accommodate the child's needs
I have a severely autistic non verbal teen, there are lots of places that can't accommodate his needs for various reasons, I go and find somewhere that can.

biscuitsandbooks · 03/03/2025 18:35

ALovelyShadeofMauve · 03/03/2025 17:13

And it’s neither.

Yes, it is. The child has autism and can only drink milk. That's a dietary requirement.

Arrivals4lucky · 03/03/2025 18:01

Can you not out milk in a cold
flask/bottle and bring it with you? Rather than get pissed off that places won’t always serve you something that’s not in the menu????

ALovelyShadeofMauve · 03/03/2025 17:13

And it’s neither.

biscuitsandbooks · 03/03/2025 17:13

The vast majority of restaurants won’t let you bring your own food and drink.

They will if you explain it's an allergy or dietary requirement.

SheilaFentiman · 03/03/2025 16:32

ALovelyShadeofMauve · 03/03/2025 16:14

The vast majority of restaurants won’t let you bring your own food and drink.

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I think more would allow the OP to have a quiet conversation along the lines of "do you sell milk as a drink? no? then is it OK if DD drinks her own from this flask and we order just food for her, the rest of us will order food and drink as normal" than would put through milk as orange juice or whatever.

DD could always order free tap water to drink and leave it untouched!

ALovelyShadeofMauve · 03/03/2025 16:14

Phoenixfire1988 · 03/03/2025 14:58

If the op had any common sense knowing this is a dietary requirement her daughter has EVERY SINGLE TIME she would take her own milk . But God forbid they have any accountability for their own child

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The vast majority of restaurants won’t let you bring your own food and drink.

CaptainFuture · 03/03/2025 15:51

ALovelyShadeofMauve · 03/03/2025 13:30

Oh no! Of course I’d never suggest anyone working in a service role should be able to deal with customer complaints. That would NEVER do.

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Glad you're understanding now! 👍

Rewis · 03/03/2025 15:22

I'm quite suprise that 50% refuse. Pint of milk is not that much and tea/coffee orders can fluctuate a lot. I wouldn't expect everyone to agree but 50% is a lot. They sell milk in those juice box type things so I'd be taking those with me to restaurants.

Balloonhearts · 03/03/2025 14:58

OhYesImgoingtosay · 02/03/2025 15:57

It could be put through as a latte or milkshake or hot chocolate

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Which then throws out inventory if you do it too often.

x2boys · 03/03/2025 14:58

InvisibilityCloakActivated · 03/03/2025 14:53

YANBU! I love a glass of milk, and so do my kids. I remember being at a soft play once where I would have thought loads of people must regularly ask for milk and they only had sugary fizzy drinks available and when I asked for milk, they gave me a handful of those tiny portions of UHT milk you get in hotel rooms by the kettle!

If the soft play are regularly being asked for.glasses of milk then it makes sense for them put it on the menu I would assume they were not ,and sold sugary ,and fizzy drinks because they knew that, s what their customers wanted .

Phoenixfire1988 · 03/03/2025 14:58

arethereanyleftatall · 02/03/2025 20:59

I don't think you need to have run a business to work out why this might not be possible in many places - just common sense and a tiny bit of critical thought.

If the op had any common sense knowing this is a dietary requirement her daughter has EVERY SINGLE TIME she would take her own milk . But God forbid they have any accountability for their own child

W0tnow · 03/03/2025 14:55

I doubt many restaurants would or could calculate their milk requirements down to the last drop so that they couldn’t spare, what…300ml? I think it’s an uncommon request, but one that should rarely, if ever, be refused. It’s a glass of milk!

More likely, servers get thrown by an unusual request, and have no idea how to process it. Even though it’s quite simple.

InvisibilityCloakActivated · 03/03/2025 14:53

Phoenixfire1988 · 03/03/2025 14:50

Most places will get a set amount of milk delivered on certain days if your dd will only drink milk and you know you have this issue why don't you just take some with you in a flask ? That would be the sensible and easiest thing to do

ALovelyShadeofMauve · 03/03/2025 13:32

Cosyblankets · 03/03/2025 12:15

How much milk do you put in your tea if a pint only does 5 teas?

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Well alright then - let’s say it’s seven or eight. What restaurant is so careful with ordering a cheap staple that they’d be prepared to run out if a party of eight all wanted coffee?

ALovelyShadeofMauve · 03/03/2025 13:30

CaptainFuture · 03/03/2025 13:11

So servers have to deal with random, querlous customers because they should, that's what they're there for?

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Oh no! Of course I’d never suggest anyone working in a service role should be able to deal with customer complaints. That would NEVER do.

SheilaFentiman · 03/03/2025 13:18

Parmesan is put on the table, if you choose to spoon it out and eat the lot then everyone will think you're weird, but nobody will stop you

No, no, it isn't. Precisely for stock control reasons. A restaurant will factor in each pasta dish getting a teaspoon of parmesan (or whatever) and some will want more and some none, but assumptions about usage will be factored into the ordering.

CaptainFuture · 03/03/2025 13:11

ALovelyShadeofMauve · 03/03/2025 10:58

Well if you can’t deal with that, you shouldn’t be working in a restaurant.

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So servers have to deal with random, querlous customers because they should, that's what they're there for?

sweetpickle2 · 03/03/2025 12:44

Sorry misread your post completely @arethereanyleftatall!

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