Please or to access all these features

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To expect a restaurant to be able to do a pint of milk?

306 replies

YourAgileBiscuit · 02/03/2025 15:15

My autistic DD (13) will normally only drink milk when we are out in restaurants etc.

Some restaurants (including chain restaurants and pubs/carvery places) get a bit funny about it when she orders/asks for milk though. Even though they already have milk for the kitchen and for teas/coffees. We’ve had some restaurants outright refuse as well even though they have milk in the building.

Is it unreasonable to expect restaurants to be able to serve milk for a paying customer? Of course we pay for her milk, we are not asking for it for free!

I would say about 50% of places we go to get funny about it which I don’t understand as they already have milk in the building.

OP posts:
New posts on this thread. Refresh page
2Rebecca · 27/03/2026 08:05

If a large glass of milk ( and a pint is an extremely large glass) isn’t on the menu then I wouldn’t expect it to be available.

ilovepixie · 27/03/2026 00:15

QuirkyPlumDog · 02/03/2025 16:02

The only problem I could see is if somewhere ran out of milk from it. But even then in our pub we would put customer satisfaction first and if push came to shove we would send someone to the local Sainsbury’s for some more milk if we really had none left at all.

And who would pay for the milk? The person going? Take the money out of the till? Then the till would be short.

KitTea3 · 26/03/2026 23:59

If it's on the menu, I see no reason they can't give you it.

Otherwise, that's unfortunately not how most businesses espsically chains operate. At mine we categorically cannot give someone a cup of milk. One because the actual cups themselves are on the stock count and two the milk is also on stock count and ordered in some bizarre way I don't understand that they know the exact quantities they are supposed to use for products . And if there literally isn't an option on the till they we couldn't charge you so you'd be getting it for free. Which you could argue they should just use discretion and give it to you anyway (as some apparently behave) but that then sets a precedent and everyone else also wants free milk. And the staff cannot override that, in some cases giving away stuff for free (yes even a glass of milk!) could actually go down as theft and result in the employee being sacked.

I do understand that it's not easy when there are issues such as autism or ARFID etc at play. But it's not as black and white as a lot of people assume. I wish it was cos that would be simpler and better for people like the OPs child. But not a lot you can do bar avoid chains and go to more independent places who don't have such strict stock rules

ilovepixie · 26/03/2026 22:48

Lifestooshort71 · 26/03/2026 21:15

We used to take our grandson to Morrisons cafe for a cooked breakfast when he stayed over. One week, eggs were not being cooked as they hadn't been delivered that morning. I could see eggs in the store from where I was sitting but they 'wouldn't be allowed' to cook them if I scampered over and bought some. I can well believe the same intransigence over milk. Is it the quantity that throws them?

It’s the same in Sainsburys cafe too. You can’t take things from the shop floor due to different prices and costings. I know it sounds stupid but its head office rules, and if an auditor see it the person could be sacked.

Lifestooshort71 · 26/03/2026 21:15

We used to take our grandson to Morrisons cafe for a cooked breakfast when he stayed over. One week, eggs were not being cooked as they hadn't been delivered that morning. I could see eggs in the store from where I was sitting but they 'wouldn't be allowed' to cook them if I scampered over and bought some. I can well believe the same intransigence over milk. Is it the quantity that throws them?

MasterBeth · 26/03/2026 20:34

Padz · 05/03/2025 07:39

Most places serve milkshakes so why is milk any different!
yes they’re being unreasonable.

Most places do not serve milkshakes.

ilovepixie · 26/03/2026 20:29

OhYesImgoingtosay · 02/03/2025 15:32

Actually you’re right in that they do order in bulk BUT if they run out they absolutely do pop out to the nearest shop to get more ! My ds works in a cafe and he has to regularly run out to grab more milk if they are exceptionally busy

That only works if there are shops open/nearby

ALovelyShadeofMauve · 06/03/2025 14:37

In your opinion

I’m at a loss as to who else’s opinion you think I should be expressing…

SheilaFentiman · 06/03/2025 13:14

ALovelyShadeofMauve · 06/03/2025 10:40

I don’t think there’s anything wrong with suggesting simple solutions when complexity is unnecessary.

In your opinion, complexity is unnecessary, despite people in the thread with relevant experience explaining why it arises.

I will leave it there, as you have no interest in listening. Have a great day, Boris.

arethereanyleftatall · 06/03/2025 12:43

ALovelyShadeofMauve · 05/03/2025 23:28

Tonight a barman charged me for the wrong drink. Once he’d fixed it, he charged me an extra £1.40 for the difference. I doubt they sell anything for exactly £1.40, so there must have been an option for a miscellaneous charge.

It just goes to show - businesses can sort this kind of thing if they want to do so.

No. It shows that on that particular till they could.

ALovelyShadeofMauve · 06/03/2025 10:40

I don’t think there’s anything wrong with suggesting simple solutions when complexity is unnecessary.

SheilaFentiman · 06/03/2025 09:24

ALovelyShadeofMauve · 06/03/2025 09:21

“Noooo!! Noooooooo!!! No one must ever be expected to do anything more complicated than pressing the exact button they were expecting to press!!!” 😱😱😱

Are you Boris Johnson? Looking at a thing and deciding that it should be simple, and declaring anyone who points out a complexity to be a naysayer?

ALovelyShadeofMauve · 06/03/2025 09:21

“Noooo!! Noooooooo!!! No one must ever be expected to do anything more complicated than pressing the exact button they were expecting to press!!!” 😱😱😱

biscuitsandbooks · 06/03/2025 09:09

ALovelyShadeofMauve · 05/03/2025 23:28

Tonight a barman charged me for the wrong drink. Once he’d fixed it, he charged me an extra £1.40 for the difference. I doubt they sell anything for exactly £1.40, so there must have been an option for a miscellaneous charge.

It just goes to show - businesses can sort this kind of thing if they want to do so.

No, it just goes to show you don't understand how tills work!

SheilaFentiman · 06/03/2025 07:54

ALovelyShadeofMauve · 05/03/2025 23:28

Tonight a barman charged me for the wrong drink. Once he’d fixed it, he charged me an extra £1.40 for the difference. I doubt they sell anything for exactly £1.40, so there must have been an option for a miscellaneous charge.

It just goes to show - businesses can sort this kind of thing if they want to do so.

Errr… no. Like when you return an item at m and s whilst you are buying another that’s more expensive, they void the returned item and hold the refunded money to set against the new item. The stock is then accurate.

ALovelyShadeofMauve · 05/03/2025 23:28

Tonight a barman charged me for the wrong drink. Once he’d fixed it, he charged me an extra £1.40 for the difference. I doubt they sell anything for exactly £1.40, so there must have been an option for a miscellaneous charge.

It just goes to show - businesses can sort this kind of thing if they want to do so.

biscuitsandbooks · 05/03/2025 08:03

Padz · 05/03/2025 07:39

Most places serve milkshakes so why is milk any different!
yes they’re being unreasonable.

Most places (especially chains) won't be making up fresh milkshakes - they'll be powdered mixes with water or pre-made ones from a bottle or carton.

DogMa73 · 05/03/2025 08:00

Here’s the real issue with anything ordered ‘off menu’ from somebody who owned a very busy coffee shop :
1 - the person on the till is often young or inexperienced and cannot always think on their feet or feel confident enough to make the right decision, especially if it’s busy or there’s a long queue behind you.
2 - they might not know what button to press on the till so that the ‘barista’ knows from the bill what drink to make.
3 - they also panic as they don’t know what to charge for it. Even if they do know how much the cost price of a 2L bottle was, they cannot work out the quantity the customer requires plus the relevant mark up, as ALL items must have, to cover profit (minimal) and all associated business running costs.
However, if the raw ingredient required is used within the business, the owner or manager of a reputable one should be able to help you with this.
Mind you, on hectic days I’d struggle myself to come up with a correct price - it would vary between £1.50 and £2.50 depending on my stress levels and therefore capacity to think clearly !
I hope that explains things from the other side - don’t let it stop you asking for what you need, just understand where the confusion is coming from !

SheilaFentiman · 05/03/2025 07:57

I would imagine that in many places, milkshakes are not fresh made from milk and flavours, but are pre-mixed. Just as few places are cutting up fruit for a smoothie - they are opening a pack of smoothie mix.

Padz · 05/03/2025 07:39

Most places serve milkshakes so why is milk any different!
yes they’re being unreasonable.

Ireallywantadoughnut36 · 04/03/2025 21:33

I suspect with chain restaurants they're not allowed to just pop to the shop and get an extra pint when they need it, there will be strict processes for ordering, pricing, restocking and if they give your daughter milk off menu then it'll mess all that up. Frustrating but I'd suggest asking if they'd mind you bringing/getting your own from the shop if they can't serve it to you, if you fully explain its all she drinks and if they won'tthen thats a shame but go elsewhere. My son is autistic so I know it's hard, but sometimes it just means there's stuff we don't do, or we do differently, it sucks but maybe just search the menu and make sure its somewhere that will serve milk - I do this to ensure there's something my son will eat. I don't just go in, ignore the menu and ask for fish and chips because he'll eat it. It means we don't go, for example, to Mexican restaurants, because he wouldn't eat there and I know that's not their fault and I can't randomly change the menu on request.

SometimesCalmPerson · 03/03/2025 20:49

I’d love to see the world be more accepting and accommodating for autistic people but I can still understand why a restaurant would be weird about selling a glass of milk. If it’s not on the menu then you’re asking them to sell you their ingredients, and obviously they don’t automatically know what to do about that. I don’t understand how you don’t understand and are so fixated on the fact that they have it in the building.

Audhdmum · 03/03/2025 20:47

Ffs! Another silly pile on. If the restaurant serves lattes then it can serve a glass of milk. I suggest the OP mentions her child’s autism when ordering and if there is still difficulty, order a cold latte with no coffee.

biscuitsandbooks · 03/03/2025 20:42

@x2boys I agree they shouldn't be expected to go off-menu, but they should be willing to accommodate an autistic child bringing their own "safe foods" - especially when everyone else is ordering off the menu.

x2boys · 03/03/2025 20:39

biscuitsandbooks · 03/03/2025 20:29

Blimey. It's nice to see people being understanding about autism 🙄

This isn't about autism irs about the paren taking a child to restaurant and expecting them to serve something that isn't on the menu my child is also autistic I don't take him places unless they csn meet his needs.

Swipe left for the next trending thread