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Original poster

Pregnant at the same time as my mum – feeling weird about it!

182 replies

mgh663 · 02/03/2025 13:34

Hi all,

I don’t really know how to feel about this, so I thought I’d see if anyone here has been in a similar situation. I (27) just found out I’m pregnant with DC1, which DH and I are thrilled about – but at the same time, my mum (45) is also expecting! She’s remarried and has been TTC with her DH2 for a while, so I’m happy for her, but I can’t shake this strange feeling about it.

It’s not that I don’t want her to have another baby, but I always imagined her being just a granny to mine, not also having a newborn herself. It makes me feel a bit weird that my baby is going to have an aunt/uncle the same age! And I suppose selfishly, I worry that my pregnancy/baby won’t feel as special because she’ll be going through it all too.

She’s really excited and keeps making comments about how lovely it will be to be “bump buddies,” and I just… don’t feel the same. I don’t want to be a cow about it, but it’s making me feel a bit disconnected from my own pregnancy. Am I being unreasonable to feel this way? Has anyone been in a similar situation?

Would love to hear thoughts, even if it’s to tell me I need to get over myself!

OP posts:
Smartiepants79 · 02/03/2025 13:44

I can understand why it might feel weird but I think it would be happier for all of you could get yourself on board with what a lovely shared experience this could be. Having someone around who’s going the the same things can be extremely reassuring and helpful. And your baby has a little pal to grow up with.

Oxgodby · 02/03/2025 13:44

Well, if you felt that strongly about it, surely you could have delayed ttc for a couple of years, given your youth? Realistically your mother was never going to be likely conceive in another year or two. At 45, she didn’t have time to hang about. You did.

MikeRafone · 02/03/2025 13:43

I can understand your reservations & thought process, Id find it weird if I was pregnant at the same time as my mum and it would have some how taken the shine away for my experience.

24Seconds2Go · 02/03/2025 13:40

How far along are you both? Congratulations Flowers

GRex · 02/03/2025 13:39

You're overthinking it. Your baby doesn't become less special because your mum is having a baby too. Millions of others all over the world are having babies, and they are ALL special. What your baby will have is a ready-made close friend for life. If you really felt so strongly then you wouldn't have TTC knowing your mum was too (so weird that you knew that!!), so this is something you will absolutely be able to get past once the babies come and you are distracted by living life.

WearyAuldWumman · 02/03/2025 13:38

It's not that usual nowadays, but it used to be: my grandmother had her first at the same time as my great-grandmother had her last.

Bear in mind that your mum's still young - only in her 40s.

However, I can understand you not being happy about being 'bump buddies' - I'm guessing that it feels as though your mum is moseying in on your territory? (When she should be an excited future grandma, she's acting as though you're pals or sisters?)

SnoozingFox · 02/03/2025 13:37

Yes I would feel very weird about it too. Your mum had you very young and it's perhaps not surprising she wanted more kids - but when you were 7, or 17 - not 27.