Active discussions

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

It’s a child maintenance one

84 replies

WinterSunflowers · 02/03/2025 10:55

Hi all, just after a bit of advice

divorced 10 years ago, 2 children now mid teens. My ex H always paid more than CMS and has always earned well so the current amount I’m getting is around 1000 a month.

hes just informed me that his job has been made redundant and as he’s only been in this one a short time there is no redundancy payment, just payment for notice (6 months)

he has said that he won’t give me a share of this notice payment (it all falls into this tax year so technically he should) but he’s proposing to keep paying me the 1000 a month for 6 months, then discuss again but if he’s not secured another role then it may stop.

I haven’t worked full time for 15 years. I do some self employed work at home but I’m really going to notice the missing 1000 if it comes to that.

is it right he’s not giving me a share of the notice money? Is it fair that the payments may stop when it runs out?

OP posts:
LadyTable · 02/03/2025 11:04

I haven’t worked full time for 15 years. I do some self employed work at home but I’m really going to notice the missing 1000 if it comes to that.

Are you going to drip-feed the reason for this?

Why did you leave it out of your OP?

TidyDancer · 02/03/2025 11:04

I think since you've got midteen DCs, it would be a good idea to post why you don't work full time as this is likely going to be to be the focus of any replies you get. It seems like such an obvious solution for you to work full time that I'm assuming there is a specific reason why you don't.

Do you have a plan for the future when the maintenance payments will stop completely? It seems like an ideal time to think about it really.

Worried861 · 02/03/2025 11:02

Well I mean if you're children are mid teens there's only a few years of maintenance left anyway so what's your plan for the future?

What he's proposing sounds reasonable to me.

TooManyNiblings · 02/03/2025 11:01

Yes and yes.
IMO he is honouring your CMS payment and that's what you are entitled to.
And yes, his payments will stop if he's not earning. Where would the money come from? If he's on benefits you will get a small amount.
However you have had 15 years of part-time so I assume the kids are old enough for you to up your hours moving forward.

Original poster
WinterSunflowers · 02/03/2025 11:01

Youcancallmeirrelevant · 02/03/2025 10:58

Why on earth do you think you should be entitled to his notice money?!

Every year he’s shared his p60 and if he’s underpaid over the year (sometimes he has if he’s got a bonus) then he pays me a one off to make it fair.

as all this notice money will be paid in march it’ll all be in this tax year so if he did the same as normal he’d pay me a larger amount to make it fair over the year.

he did say if he did this then the 1000 a month would stop immediately, which is reasonable.

OP posts:
Loveduppenguin · 02/03/2025 10:59

It gives you 6 months to get a full time position then, your dc are teens now that’s not impossible

sprigatito · 02/03/2025 10:59

Youcancallmeirrelevant · 02/03/2025 10:58

Why on earth do you think you should be entitled to his notice money?!

Because she's bringing up his children?

Youcancallmeirrelevant · 02/03/2025 10:58

Why on earth do you think you should be entitled to his notice money?!

HaddyAbrams · 02/03/2025 10:58

If he's still paying £1000 pm then you are getting 'a share'. It sounds perfectly fine to me.

Why don't you work full time?