Shall I move back home but lose life Iove?

In that case, stop worrying about a future that might not happen, you're serving no purpose and wasting energy on worry that could be better spent.

Deal with the future when it comes, 👌 deal with your today, their today is fine, do what is best for YOUR immediate family, they are your. highest concern, your parents are living their best life, they don't need you to parent them.

I'm sure your parents would love to see their grandchild more.

But as a counterpoint view... my parents (I'm not British) adored their grandchildren visiting, and were very hands-on grandparents, but as they got older, began to talk about how grateful they were to NOT be in the same position as their friends with local grandchildren, who did regular childcare, and whose ageing bodies struggled with keeping up with energetic preschoolers and lifting heavy toddlers in and out of carseats. My late MIL used to say she'd love to see the grandchildren, but she largely meant seeing us, sitting in the kitchen with a cup of coffee, while the children played outside. My kids loved her, but the distance helped shield them from the worst of her dementia too.

Honestly, the way you are splitting out your holidays and travelling regularly may actually be the best balance you could have for your parents, who aren't so close that they need to feel any obligation to do more, and can still have their quiet home back to themselves when you've gone back home.

From everything you have said I would stay. But I think you are kidding yourself if you say ‘let’s revisit in a few years’. You’re only going to get more settled as the years go by. Your husband will get pay rises, promotions, better pension pot, your child will make friends, join clubs, be part of the local community. It’s easier to move a reception child than a Year 5 child, with strong opinions and valid arguments and big emotions.

My goodness your primary concern is your family not your fit and able parents, can't believe you would uproot all of you for people who have had their chance to raise their kids. Even your son is making his feelings known.

Most of us have partners of the same nationality so don't understand your emotions. I'm in a mixed marriage, European and English so completely understand your thought process. Whilst your parents are well I would stay put, and once they begin ageing you'll just need to up your visits to be with them.
No easy answer, but so long as you are happy here with stable jobs and good income I would make the decision to stay and reconsider in 10 to 15 years. Xx

Does your DH speak the other language?

It's up to you but ...

DH and I thought about moving quite a bit (for much different reasons to you and not for family, so different) pre-school.. The move kept getting put off, and then through primary years the big move was put off again a few times for this and that.

My oldest is now year 8 and my youngest is in last year of primary (yr6). Although we are now ready and able to move, we can't because we've left it too late. Both our children are so ingrained here now. My oldest has the same friends from the start of primary and my youngest is about to move to secondary with all his friends from the feeder primary school. They know the village we live in well, and are involved in local clubs. We just cannot up root them.

If you are going to go, you need to go NOW before your DC gets much older. A move mid-way through primary is ok, but the longer you leave it the harder it will be to uproot your children and in my case, we left it too late and now it cannot (without significant and very real negatives to my children) be done..

I would be very surprised given he has a lovely home, life and niche job AND he sees how happy and settled his son is - that he wouldn’t prefer to stay op

Realistically, I think you’ve made your choice and you’ve cast your lot here with the family you’ve created. I’m from further away than Europe and I knew that when I decided to marry Dh and we decided to create a family life here in the UK that that was my decision. Of course, things can change and maybe at some point you all want an adventure, but you cannot - long term - pull yourself in two.

If you leave home and create a new one for your family, then that has to become your priority. I suspect there are cultural aspects at play (in my culture, caring for ageing parents isn’t such a strong expectation, we would expect them to self-fund care or the government). I think you’ve made probably need to explore ways of connecting with your home country and caring for your parents that don’t involve uprooting your family. In my own case, my children’s future is more important to me that my parent’s care in old age, and I have put them first.

Whilst your parents are fit and well I'd stay where you are. You could reassess if and when your parents are elderly or unable to care for themselves.

Your parents have said to stay put. Listen to them! They don't need or want you to move either

I suppose one way to look at it is this - if you know for certain you will down tools and return if and when your parents begin to ail then perhaps there is an argument to relocate sooner rather than later. The rationale being that you would be better investing the coming years establishing yourselves where your parents are rather than here when you might have to drop and run and start from scratch a few years down the line.

What does your partner think?

But you might be right as in my husband and son might prefer to stay wehere we are.

come again?

you haven’t actually discussed this either your husband and how he feels about it?

If I were your parents, I’d be so stressed at thought of my daughter uprooting her lovely life and that of my grandchild’s to help me with practical stuff

No brainer - stay where you are

And your husband? Happy to earn less, less job opportunities, lose his lovely home and life, watch his son uprooted from a great school?