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Original poster

Boys going to the gents by themselves what age?

215 replies

Khgvnjj · 02/03/2025 07:41

Ds is turning 7 and increasingly wants to go to the public toilets by himself. I grew up in a household of only women so no experience of this. When sis your boys start going to the gents by themselves? Did you put any caveats in place?

OP posts:
YourGreenZebra · 02/03/2025 07:55

My DS is 8 and I’m starting to send him in the gents alone in busy places. Park toilets, bus or train stations etc which are quiet and I can’t tell if there will be drug users or male prostitutes inside then he has to come in with me (I live in an area where that is sadly a frequent occurrence).

Deerrobin · 02/03/2025 07:55

Location dependent, 7ish in restaurants and places like that, nearer 10 in places like train stations, airports etc.

zaxxon · 02/03/2025 07:54

This is a divisive topic on MN. You'll get people saying it's dangerous to send boys in alone until they're like 14, and other people saying they should be barred from the women's loos as soon as they can walk.

You know your child so you're the best judge. FWIW I think most 7-8yos can cope with going in on their own.

Original poster
Khgvnjj · 02/03/2025 07:52

So I went to the ladies by myself when I was 7 but I guess no one thought there would be any danger, more a question of managing toileting by myself.

OP posts:
Londonrach1 · 02/03/2025 07:50

Around 7/8 ish but hover around outside. It depends on the location though. I'm thinking in reverse when dh takes dd out if im working. She's 8. Sometimes she uses the ladies with him outside and sometimes he takes her into the gents ..it depends on the situation.

couchparsnip · 02/03/2025 07:49

Around 7/8 I think but it depended on the situation. I was very uncomfortable letting him go to the gents in our local park for example. He would go behind a tree instead usually! Whilst if we were in his karate club that was fine - tons of other kids there and all the adults were DBS checked.

LaPalmaLlama · 02/03/2025 07:48

DS was about 6 but we lived overseas in a country where they’re much stricter about same sex toilets/ changing rooms. My rules were don’t speak to anyone. If they speak to you just say “I’m not allowed to speak to strangers” and if they persist just walk straight out. I always waited outside and we tended to choose “busier” loos.

TwentyTwentyFive · 02/03/2025 07:47

I'd be very surprised if they were still coming into the ladies after 8. I think that's the general rule for changing rooms at swimming pools so it seems a reasonable age to also independently go to into the men's toilets.

Original poster
Khgvnjj · 02/03/2025 07:47

So he already goes to the gents with his dad and in the pool. However, this is when he is with me and whether it should be ok for him to go by himself.

OP posts:
BestZebbie · 02/03/2025 07:45

8 is the age that boys stop going into women’s changing rooms at the swimming pool (etc), so wanting to start trying the gents at 7 seems correct to me.
We started off with less busy gents, going in with his dad or with me waiting outside, only using cubicles. And specifically explained not to strike up conversation at urinals!

stayathomer · 02/03/2025 07:44

Probably the same here 8/9- even now (youngest ten) I worry with them in the toilets for too long. It’s so difficult

sunshineandshowers40 · 02/03/2025 07:44

I think my eldest went around 8 years old (may have been a bit younger) and I would hover outside the door. Youngest went much younger (he wanted to) but would always go either way his brother/s

JacqFrost · 02/03/2025 07:43

Secondary school generally but later stages of primary school age year six they will probably be confident enough.

0ohLarLar · 02/03/2025 07:43

Depends where it is. Busy loos in sainsburys - 7.

Somewhere unknown/on holiday etc older.

KvotheTheBloodless · 02/03/2025 07:42

8, with me hovering outside.