Boys going to the gents by themselves what age?

It’s not normal

Was he with his Mum at the time?

This thread is baffling. People acting like 7 year old boys are a problem in a womens toilet. I live in central London and there's all sorts of things that happen. My son was slapped in the face by a mentally unwell man when he was 5/6 years old as we got on the bus on a busy school run. Police did absolutely nothing, and no one else on the bus said a word. I will be letting my son come in with me to the ladies or finding a single/disabled toilet until he is old enough to defend himself a bit. He's 7 now, so a couple of years. Where I live it's completely normal to see boys of 7/8 in the womens toilets. I think after that he will point blank refuse to come in with me but I'll definitely be insisting he uses a cubicle.

At 6 or 7 years old.

It’s even more bonkers to take a boy to the ladies if their dad is there too

The hysteria is wild

If men’s toilets are so packed full of predators that it’s unsafe to let younger boys use them, why is it safe to let older boys use them? Can’t they be sexually assaulted pretty easily as well? All a sex offender would have to do would be unexpectedly shove them and grope them while they’re using the urinal.

Once children are about seven or so, it’s time for them to use the bathroom that matches their sex. Stand outside and call, “I’ll be just out here waiting!” if you want, or tell your son to always use a stall. Better yet, campaign for more family bathrooms. But girls and women are entitled to privacy, and I’m tired of how we’re always the ones who are supposed to sacrifice because people accept that they can’t do anything about predatory or violent men.

I used to stand outside and also had DS practice shouting and making a noise like kicking a door, because his go to fear response is to freeze. I also carry a personal alarm for emergencies, so you can give them an alarm but you need to let them practice setting it off as its very loud in an enclosed space.

Not always possible if there is just one men’s and 1 ladies for quite a large radius.

At the end if the day it’s a moot point as parents must and do make their own decisions. MN does not make the rules particularly where the safety of children is involved.

When DS was younger than 8 he did sometimes go into the gents with his dad but especially under about 5/6 he would often go with me even if we were both there, as the women's loos tend to be cleaner and if he were standing outside a cubicle taking turns he wouldn't then be alone next to men using a urinal - primarily to protect him but also while he was still potentially likely to strike up a conversation with a stranger or ask loud questions! As a pre-schooler he was also out in public needing a wee with just me a lot more often than with both parents there, so it wasn't unusual for us.
7-8 is the age where we stopped using the ladies rather than started using the gents, if you see what I mean.

Maybe I've misread this, but do you mean to say that until your son was 7 years old he would go to the ladies' toilet with you rather than the gents with this dad? what if his dad was going to the loo anyway and you were busy? And if he was with his dad and you weren't around then did he go to the ladies on his own rather than the gents with his dad?

Its not just height/size and the ability to defend yourself physically...it's also about having the maturity to sense when a person might pose a threat or be behaving in an odd way. So yes, a ten year old will not have the physical strength to fight off an adult...but may have the mental ability to realise that a situation could potentially be dangerous and remove themselves or call for help.

I don't think there's a one size fits all in terms of these situations...there's lots of factors to consider.

Sure but the younger they are, the greater the risk.

My personal cut off is primary school age/puberty, whichever is earlier.

Parents are responsible for making safety decisions for their children. This does not include bringing them into spaces designated for use by the opposite sex after a certain age (generally somewhere bw 8 and 10 for toilets, generally under 8 for changing rooms). If you can't send them to the men's at that age because you deem it unsafe, then you need to make other arrangements/frequent other venues.

It is not up to you to dictate safeguarding and sucking up risk to mothers re situations you are not in. It is entirely down to the parent, the child and the situation.

Depends on the place tbh.

I have a pretty level-headed, no-nonsense 8yo, and he was going in on his own from about age 5. But that was places like garden centre cafes and supermarkets, with me hovering outside.

The youngest male rapist was 11.

In a store yes .Defo not in a public toilet in town (not many of them now now anyway!) If I was in the ladies and a little boy walked in I would not be "embarrassed" Otherwise at the park just hop behind a tree

The reality is that boys are at risk from male predators til their late teens. So unless you propose they use the women's til adulthood then an element of risk is a given.

Oh come on, how pathetic. Do you really expect mothers to put their children into potentially risky situations so that only females can hear you, anonymously sitting in your private cubicle, rustling a plastic packet? Ridiculous.

I haven’t read through this thread in detail but did want to tell you all something that happened to a former colleague’s son.

My former colleague and her nine year old son were in our local shopping centre. This shopping centre is small and familiar to everyone in our area. Her son wanted to go to the toilet so she waited outside while he went in. After a couple of minutes he hadn’t come out so she went in. A man was assaulting her son, thank goodness the assault did not go further than it already had because she interrupted it. Security and police were called and the man was arrested. He got three months in prison. This was over twenty years ago but it was awful for her and her boy.

I would never let a child in a public toilet alone based on what happened to him.

I hated this stage. I ended up buying DS a basic brick phone so if there were long queues he could ring me. I think he was around 8 too.
I used to watch the entrance to the men's loos like a hawk and set a timer on my watch.

The point is you didn’t mention any ages your post. You just said male children. And people are debating at what age they should go into the men’s. So you say 6/7 is fine. Is 8 ok? 9? This is what I’m asking. At what point is a male child old enough to go in alone. I actually agree with you that 6/7 should be in the women’s with their mothers. But some people on here say 11/12/13 is ok as well. And they are in fact still children at 13. So what age should they go alone?

I have attended many school trips. Boys do use the male toilets but only after they are checked by either a member of staff from the site we are visiting or by a teacher - if a female teacher, we will call out and knock before entering to check they are all empty.
Teacher will then stand outside while boys go in and stop anyone entering until all boys are out.
This usually stops after year 5 which is 10 year old.

Well I hope you don’t bump into me because I have told a boy, who I thought was about 10, to get out of the ladies toilet. His mother sent him in. She didn’t even go in with him.

I’m very interested in this thread as my son is only 5 and as a single parent, I don’t think I’d be comfortable him going into the men’s toilets alone until he is in like secondary school. I’m really into true crime content and I’ve heard some awful stories of what’s happened to children going into the bathrooms alone - I cannot bare that happening to my child. I think the only way when the children express wanting to go alone is to stand by the door and shout for them if they’ve been gone more than a couple of minutes - if they don’t answer then I’d go in.