55 year old female Reader interested in teenage boys

I personally would tell her that her sexual deviance is not acceptable and also illegal and she will likely lose her job and any future prospect of being in education. I would not be friends with her.

This is sensible advice

This absolutely. You wouldn't hesitate if it was a man.

This is predatory behaviour and he is her student.

That’s the line my teachers took at school, and it fucked up students’s lives. Why is the relationship with your colleague more important that the students’ wellbeing? Why do have to wait until it crosses the line before acting, you won’t even know when/if it does.

From what I saw at school I had zero tolerance of this kind of behaviour from staff at uni, it’s a shame other staff didn’t feel the same.

Imagine if a male colleague had said the same about an 18yr old female student?
Not that hard to be apprehensive is it?

You need to contact the Designated Safeguarding Lead at the college she works at and report her.

Ok so I have just checked my university’s staff/student relationship policy which is freely available on the internet as I’m sure others are.

It literally says the university does not seek to prevent or regulate relationships. Goes on to say it wants to protect students by ensuring there is no violence, coercion, harassment or predatory behaviour.

Says staff must inform their line manager of any relationship if there is potential for a conflict of interest. Staff should not be involved in assessment of any student they’re in a relationship with nor have any pastoral responsibilities for them.

so if this Reader was at my university she’d be fine. 🤷‍♀️.

I think the students need to be warned. If this happened in my department and I couldn't fire the lecturer, I'd put on safeguarding classes for the students.

If she denies this conversation, what are you going to report? One taxi trip? It's going to go nowhere, is it, other than putting a black mark against you?

She's very confused which makes me think she's had no training on this sort of thing, otherwise she'd know the protocol.

Very good advice, @GreyAreas .

This.
Report immediately.

I would, I like to think, state to her that her actions are over the line and that I am going to seek advice on whether they contravene policies that are in place to protect young people. Then I would ask safeguarding/line manager 'what should I do if I am concerned about the way a colleague is behaving with a student?' and then follow their advice. Easier said than done, I know. Bear in mind she might have been reported.or been warned in the past, so your info might add to a picture of concern.

If this is identifying it serves this revolting woman right.

@HelmholtzWatson

Why because I won't tell tales on what is at the moment no more than a middle-aged woman's fantasy?

It's not 'no more' than a fantasy is it?

She's said she thinks he's beautiful, got his phone number and invited him to an event with her.

How is that just a fantasy?

But it does make a difference…..possibly depending on the institution but it could be acceptable. Whereas in a sixth form the teacher would be sacked for sure and possibly face criminal charges? One of my senior lecturer colleagues fairly recently married one of their students, nobody batted an eyelid.

Yes, I posted a follow up when I belatedly grasped this. In my fuddled pre-early morning tea state I assumed it was a typo I couldn't make sense of, but now I realise it must be a university Reader, and as I've already said, that makes this super-identifying. OP would be well advised to get this deleted.

I agree there is an imbalance of power, but I disagree that 6th formers and uni students are the same if they are 18.

In terms of the rules the university has, I don’t think they will be able to distinguish between behaviour towards an 18-year-old adult student and a 21-year-old adult student.

This is very strange.
Have you not gone through any training about this?
How did you not know how to react?

IMHO, you should speak to her about it. Meet her somewhere private. Say you’ve been reflecting on what she told you and think the way she spoke about him was inappropriate and she shouldn’t be meeting him privately, especially if that’s how she views him. It could get her into a great deal of trouble.

Then see how she responds. If she dismisses or minimises it in any way, I’d let her know you have a duty to report it. Speak to a safeguarding lead. I wouldn’t tell her line manager as they may not know how to deal with it and do nothing.

If she’s humble and reflective and assures you nothing else inappropriate’s happened (they only attended an exhibition together), suggest she doesn’t meet him or any students privately again, as it leaves her open to accusations of grooming. Make a note of the dates she told you and the date you spoke to her about it. Keep an eye on her and if you notice anything else, report it.

Would you feel differently if it was a 55 year old man speaking like that about an 18 year old young woman? You shouldn’t. Women can be sexual predators too.

It's not a fantasy though she has his number and booked a taxi for them both to go to an exhibition. She's over stepped a mark in relation to her work status

@HelmholtzWatson "inappropriate but not illegal" really?! The threshold for what behaviour you are willing to let slide is illegality?

@2021x has it spot on.

The same age. It makes no difference. You’re in a position of power compared to them and there should be the same expectations regarding personal relationships with them.

Would you say that if it was a man talking about an 18 year old student? Or would you rightly think of him as a creepy predator?