55 year old female Reader interested in teenage boys

Universities are microcosms of protectionism- they have got away with it for centuries and particularly in the 20th century. The 'laissez-faire' attitudes that existed in the 1960s and 70s, meant staff were allowed to do what they liked for decades. Many contributed very little to the university - were allowed to be self-indulgent and to pick and choose what they did, who they favoured, what they actually produced as research. They were rarely challenged by senior academics/ management about their behaviours and, in many places, hasn't changed much.

Today, universities offer hundreds of pointless, useless degrees. Just look at the range and number of Geography degrees as an example (although it is by no means the worst subject in this ). There is no need for them, students get little from them, few end up in decent employment related to them but do end up in lifetime debt. One of my best friends is a professor (and was course leader) at a local red-brick uni and tears his hair out in frustration over difficult, lazy staff who do the bare minimum, complain continually about how 'thick' students are and are unwilling to provide the support they need, and the university's inability/unwillingness to discipline these staff. He describes them as 'deadwood' in the department. I'm not entirely sympathetic to him, his time away from the uni appears to be about 70% of his working week, and 4 months in the summer. He produces very little research himself and it's all a very 'precious' environment.

It is nowhere near as rigorous or interventionist a structure in terms of monitoring the quality of teaching, learning and care as schools are.

There are either a lot of lecherous 55 year old stoners out there or a few of us know the same woman! The one I knew would perv over students but I only ever saw her actively pursue staff. There was the same fetishisation of ethnicity there as well. Policies on personal relationships in HE are changing so she needs to be more careful. https://www.officeforstudents.org.uk/for-students/student-rights-and-welfare/student-guide-to-harassment-and-sexual-misconduct/what-to-expect/ If she wants to take him to an exhibition then she advertises it to all students and takes a group, not just him.
I've met some absolutely beautiful students but the clue is in the title, he's a student. It would be like fancying my friends children, just wrong on every level. I've also developed real friendships with a few students, usually older, but only because we kept in touch AFTER they graduated and the friendship grew from there .

Not in this instance because (if it is the same person, and maybe it isn't) I am not aware of it.

She is someone I have reported for her predatory and inappropriate conduct in the past though, yes.

And that's how you understand what the OP stated? If the OP said "my colleague has told me she is taking one of her students to an exhibition. He is a talented student who wouldn't normally be able to go to this gallery. Am I right to be clutching my pearls at such degeneracy?" then you might be right in drawing the parallel. It is so clearly not this.

Even in all adult workplaces there are lines of acceptable and unacceptable behaviour. What you describe is acceptable. What the OP described (all of it. Including the objectification of the student) is not acceptable. If it is not over the line to unacceptable, it is near enough the line to warrant action - either in OP distancing herself from colleague, telling her it is inappropriate (or at least risky if she wants to protect the colleagues ego), or indeed flagging it to someone more senior or with responsibility for safeguarding so they can make the call.

OP I would absolutely report this. Totally i appropriate.

Surely no 18 year old would have sex with a 55 year old woman?!

Sounds like she's grooming him. I'd at least talk to the person in charge of safeguarding about this.

That's not what OP said. It was AND it's also dodge for this reason. OPs post makes it clear it is her friends approach towards the student first and foremost that she's discussing.

I'm in STEM, but I'd take an academically inclined student to a meeting or conference. I imagine the exhibition part is similar in humanities or arts.

Agreed. I would put the safety and wellbeing of a potentially vulnerable barely-adult being groomed by a leechy 50+ year old over myself being a bit “uncomfortable” any day. What she’s said is disgusting, regardless of if she acts on it or not - although it’s clear she will if given opportunity, which she is already attempting to create with shared taxis etc

I agree it's borderline but could be heading that way. I couldn't ignore it though, I'd have to say something to the friend and possibly report it because it sounds her like intention is pursuing an inappropriate relationship with the student.

Would you say that if the lecturer was a man and the potential grooming victim a girl?

To use ffs for this, you're easily triggered at the mo. You might need a break.

well I’d disagree. If it was an ongoing pattern and he’s showing no sign of reciprocating then yes. But so far it’s been one event ???? Hardly an intense display of affection. I’d say it’s not a display of affection at all. 🤷🏻‍♀️. And I think this individual would certainly be able to successfully argue that if it ever got to a disciplinary. And that’s what counts. Which is why a total ban is better.

I'd be having a chat with the Safeguarding Lead. There's a power imbalance and her motives are not pure. Who knows whether he would be going willingly with her to the exhibition or whether he thinks it might be disadvantageous to decline or that he can't say no. Same with any 'approach' she might make to him.

Firstly, you don't know that. Secondly, if someone is stupid enough to openly talk about their nasty fantasies they probably should be sacked.
I would let her work know so that she can be warned off. This could prevent her messing up a young man's life.

I'd be reporting the nonce.

A middle aged woman having a fantasy about an 18 yr old isn't the norm .

The point exactly being this example is not "part of her job". Yes the policies described so far allow a certain amount of personal contact (and relationships) due to the fact it is an all adult environment. But none of them have said it's completely fine for staff to pursue their own students.

@CerealPosterHere

An initial intense display of affection and attention to quickly gain trust and dependence from the victim.

Someone in a position of authority and influence seeking him out, asking for his number and inviting him to events absolutely qualified as an intense display of affection and attention.

By mentioning it to you she may have been trying to normalise it in her own mind.

Could you say to her 'On reflection, I have been thinking about what you told me and I feel very uncomfortable about it. It is not appropriate'.

No but there's an element of her fetishising his ethnicity, I think that's all OP was pointing out - it made her extra uncomfortable and I understand why.

Really? That’s a shame.

I do think all universities should clamp down on relationships and ban them but until they do it’s going to be very difficult to pull anyone up for having a relationship. Having a policy which bans predatory behaviour with no definition of what constitutes predatory behaviour is pretty stupid. Trying to enforce something which is fairly subjective would be difficult. Hence why a total ban is better.

If she were a man and said the same things about a female student, what would you do about it. Do that.

If the lecturer has previously expressed sexual attraction to a student, then these things certainly should be included.

And this is a 55 year old, very senior academic who really should know better. Not a young 20 something junior lecturer.