To ask you what's the most satisfying thing your body has done?

A horribly bruised toenail after doing an ultra marathon, the pressure was un bearable. Stuck a red hot safety pin through the nail and a massive squirt of blood came out ( instant relief)

A 10 second fart that instantly cured pain that I had for days!

I had a pilar cyst right on the top of my head for years, it had slowly been getting bigger and I was gearing up to go to the Drs to get it removed. A few days before xmas I was doing headstands with my DD and it was really hurting from the pressure and then felt a bit throbby after that. On xmas eve I had a long shower and washed my hair, when I got out and was brushing it I could see a white line sticking up from the top of my head. As I was watching it I realised it was slowly getting longer. I pressed the side of the cyst and all hell broke loose, the line of white was the head and with gentle pressure I managed to get spirals and spirals of cottage cheese like stuff out of it. I was honestly pushing and squeezing for about 10 minutes, it was all in my hair, my partner was gagging, my kids were screaming 🤣 I was loving every second and still think of it a lot to this day 😄

Stayed intact, preserved and firm, because it never had the need to nurture and spit out an alien 🤣

Years ago, I used to take garlic tablets to boost my immune system. After a few days of taking them, I needed a poo. It was the best poo ever. The longest, solid poo I've ever achieved and it wouldn't flush. I had to use hot water to help it along the u bend.

I had conjunctivitis a couple of weeks after I gave birth. Someone suggested I drop breast milk in my eyes….cleared right up 👍🏻

I had a 'blind spot' on my scalp that eventually got a head on it, it was so sore that I couldn't brush my hair properly, couldn't lie on it, the pressure of it was giving me a constant headache.... It popped but then kept refilling with fluid that kept popping but was like an open wound so was sore for weeks, got ointment and antibiotics from GP, but it still kept coming back. Eventually, my DH had a look at it and grabbed what he thought was a piece of skin/hair hanging out of the hole with tweezers. Turned out it had been a huge cyst and the 'skin' he removed was the sac. It came out intact and the pain relief was immediate and immense, within days it started healing. That was 10+ years ago, and touch wood, it's never returned!

The other one I had was about 20 years ago, I woke up with a sore 'spot' right in the middle of my upper back, right between my shoulder blades. I could feel it was huge, sure it had it's own postcode, but was unable to see it properly to do anything with it and was unable to reach it. I was getting ready for work and as I brought both shoulders back to put my top on, I heard an almighty pop, felt immediate relief and then liquid run down my spine, must have been a massive pimple with the amount of gunk that was in it 🤮

I got these on the regular, but never when pregnant. Definitely hormone related with me and sounds similar with you.

This may be somewhat outing but I once extracted what I can only describe as a TINY HORN from my belly button. It was made up of years worth of fine belly button hairs compacted into this teeny hard horn. It was amazing!

I had this too and no one believed me! Had a blocked ear after Covid and after about a week read on MN to put head between legs. I tried it and the liquid shot out of my nose onto the floor (luckily not carpet!) and my ear unblocked. It wasn’t snot it was more watery! And yes luminous green/yellow.

I’ll never forget it!

I got a splinter in my bottom sliding down a slide with my dd. I left it a while then one day I looked at it and the splinter had worked it's way out and was poking up from the skin, I got some tweezers and took it out. Very satisfying !!

Yes, the moment my blocked duct cleared (managed to get DC in perfect position) and the instant relief

Dislodging an incredibly inflamed, painful blocked duct on my breast by massaging it while immersed in a bowl of warm salty water. Watching and feeling the clogged piece of milk float out and up into the bowl was amazing. A giant stream of breastmilk then shot out. The instant relief was unlike anything I had felt or have felt since. I actually felt dizzy and was glad I was sitting down.

This is disgusting (and needed intervention) but I had quinsy not that long ago (tonsil absess) - unfortunately for me I was overseas at the time. The methods at the hospital to pop the absess were a little different to those in the Uk, so they popped the absess and made my spit out all the horrible gunk into a bowl. Gross but the relief from the agony was instant.

25 years ago on tuesday,I gave birth after finding out I was pregnant on the Monday,and this was the Saturday

(I have written on another thread about having crushing pnd and how my mother treated me)

Anyway,I'd been in agony (which is why I'd gone to the doctors in the first place and found out I was ready to give birth)

I think they called it snp (the joints in my pelvis had softened and I couldn't walk-the pain was unreal)

I managed to stagger to the loo,couldn't 'go' and had managed to stagger to the spot between my bathroom and bedroom-i put my hand on the middle bedroom doorframe and shouted 'I want to FUCKING push!' (Thankfully I had a friend staying over-she raced up those stairs and tried to catch him,failed and he landed on the floor)

Taking away the sheer panic of his birth and what had just happened,the feeling of him shooting out,and 10 seconds later,his afterbirth (which landed on top of him) is the most satisfying thing I've ever felt

On a better note,for years I've had a spot under my armpit-I know it needs to come out when it gets itchy and I can't move my arm properly

Dp squeezes it,('its just a tiny blackhead love') a perfect ball of grey gunk pops out and the feeling of being able to move my arm again is up there with freshly cut toenails

Held in a huge hot fart for an entire yoga class and half the drive home (I was giving a classmate a lift).

Oh and I also produced a gall stone as big as a golf ball. <proud>

I had a head cold once. I felt so bunged up but nothing coming out. I blew my nose in a cafe in Reigate and the biggest ball of snot / phlegm came out. It was bigger than the diameter of my nostril so no idea how it came out. It was a wonderful feeling of relief. This was 25+ years now and I still remember it fondly now.

I think it’s called gleeking

It is wonderful isn’t it. Reminded me of this (very ladylike) bit of graffiti from way back.

There‘s nothing so overrated as a bad fuck
and nothing so underrated as a good shit

could do with an extra line about spot squeezing/bone removing/ear emptying fun though 😁

My contribution is breast cysts. I cannot believe how much my body can hold. I'm a cysty person. I used to get ovarian cysts and I have 2 cysts on my scalp.

Anyway I frequently have to go and get breast cysts drained. It's now got to the stage that I warn the nurse they'll need at least 3 big syringes.

I've had 250 ml drained from one breast once. The lump was a big as a golf ball.

I know get a Doctor doing it once I had 3 in a row and she (the Doctor) went in to each cysts through the other - that was 2 x 50 ml syringes.

The relief is immense. I now ask to have the cysts drained before my mammogram (I'm still too young to have them officially but have to have the whole check up done when I get referred) and there is no pain if I have the cysts drained before the mammogram (top tip for other cysty ladies out there!)

Giving birth both times the feeling when my body took over, I described it as the feeling when your being sick but the other way. I couldn’t stop pushing if I tried as it wasn’t me doing it, my body just cracked on.

Second to giving birth, I’d had a verruca on my foot for a year or two but it had turned painful. I attacked it with tweezer and squeezed the whole thing out in one, it was at least a cm long cone of verruca. So bloody satisfying I can remember it twenty years on.

I used to get a blackhead in the same spot in my ear, massive thing that would appear suddenly. One evening, after worrying at it during work, I gave it the gentlest prod and heard a BANG then this big round rock like thing fell out my ear. It was the biggest blackhead I'd ever seen. And it never returned. 20 years later I'm still disappointed it hasn't come back.

Then in labour with DC1 my body suddenly started to push her out. I had nothing to do with it apart from consciously adding a bit of effort. I just felt this squeezing and pushing (and pain as she crowned, it wasn't painless, just unstoppable) as my body took over.

And after labour with DC2, I was terrified to poo. DC1 I'd had stitches, but DC2 was back to back and i was left with piles the size of golf balls. Not an exaggeration. I decided I was never evacuating anything else out my body again.

The midwives (a different one most days for the fortnight after birth) would come in, ask my how labour had been (scary, I'd cry) then asked if I had had a poo. I had not, I said. Worrying, they replied after a couple of days.

I had to eat bowls upon bowls of bran flakes. Still no poo.

I think I got to day five or six. By now I was wondering what my body was doing with all my waste product, it couldn't all be coming out as farts and wee.

Then finally I got the urge. I told DH to standby in case it went wrong and I turned inside out.

I had an entirely normal, maybe on the large size, poo that felt like it weighed around 10kg. I thought it would break the toilet. After that, I was back to normal. I did have to phone the midwife and let her know - by this point she was threatening readmission to hospital for exploratory examinations.

(Piles subsided after a fortnight of frequent application of creams, ointments and suppositories.)

A few month ago, I was very constipated. It had been a few days, so I took some relief stuff, spent all day faffing about thinking I needed to go so would sit on the loo, nothing happening, but I could feel the pressure building. It was so uncomfortable, I felt like I couldn't actually sit down properly.

It got to the point where I thought I may have to put on some latex gloves and literally have a poke about to help it.

When I finally passed what can only be a described as a tennis ball in disguise, I literally felt buoyant and walked around the rest of the day with a smile on my face!