AIBU to not want to throw a load of food away - fussy eater

Something I did around those ages was to feed the kids something bland I knew they would eat on a Saturday teatime, then they were allowed to stay up a bit later with us if they at least tried what we were eating. Zero pressure because they had already eaten but it was a big treat to stay up.
I also did a lot of adaptation. Some kids are weird about ‘mixed together’ food but will eat it deconstructed and not touching.
I think it generally comes good if you don’t make it a huge battle. Both of mine were picky for a period that felt like forever but was actually quite short and now will eat literally anything apart from pesto (dd2) olives and avocado (both). Dd2 happily scoffed a huge bowl of mussels at cafe rouge aged about 5 and dd1 is obsessed with squid. Both eat all the vegetables except celeriac.

I usually (within reason) give the dcs what we are having in a version they will like it best. For example, dc thinks mince and spaghetti look like worms, so I will blend his bolognese sauce and give him it with pasta penne or another type. My other dc doesn't like beans, so he will have something else on the side. I'll stir greek yoghurt in their portion of the butter chicken curry etc we are having and mix with rice, and they'll eat it like that. I used to put naan/poppadoms etc out, and they'd dip in a bit, but now they'll eat it as is. We will have ours spicy with the rice separate. I'll make a Thai curry, and drizzle it over gyozas for one, the other dips spring rolls in and has a little rice now.
I'll make a chilli, and serve theirs then add chillis at the end for us. I always try to make it so we all eat the same thing with a few tweaks for dcs if necessary.

When they were younger I would build up with giving them something I knew they would eat, but with a small amount of what we were having on the side, or sometimes they would try it from our plates. Eventually, they are eating more variation. I have told my older one that taste changes as well, and he announced this to the dinner lady when she tried to 'not' give him custard like usual!

You were often hungry, so the eat it or starve plan didn't work with you. Seems a shame to do that to your kids.

With what they eat can you batch cook or adapt things? Eg you have chicken curry, one child have chicken, plain rice and veggies and one have chicken with baked potato?

Alternatively your DH can take over all the cooking and cleaning up.

I agree with expanding on something they do like. Eg if they eat pasta, make that, with a mroe grown up sauce for you, and optional toppings for them. In time they'll try bits and increase their pallete.

Kids become fussy when they get choice. It's human nature.

Just cook one meal, make sure there is something they like, then encourage them to try other things.

Mine used to be fussy (especially DS2) but I used the above method. I'd they refused to try foods then pudding was natural yoghurt and/or fruit. If they did try stuff they got a more exciting pudding.

I didn't make a fuss and the rules were simple.

There are still things DS2 won't eat but is no longer fussy!

What do they actually eat? Can you expand on that?
So if they both like pasta, can you do butter pasta for them and then add bolognese/carbonara sauce for you and dh?