Fancy dress isn't for fat people.

Or Madame Manet - black dress, but if white lace round the neckline a choker and carry a bottle of absinthe and a glass

Fancy dress is fucking horrific and I agree that whoever suggests it as a party theme, has a brilliant outfit and looks fan fucking tastic in it.

Brilliant for them, but you can guarantee that at least 70% of those invited, roll their eyes and say FFS.

Ffs seriously? What overweight woman wants to go to a party as Obelix when all her friends are in sexy Roman toga costumes?

You’ve actually just proved the OP’s point - she wants to go to a party and feel like she looks good, not go dressed as a comedy fat person. But they’re the only options you can think of.

"go as the windmill" may be the best advice I've ever read on Mumsnet!

That was my thought for Moulin Rouge tbh 🤣

Or wear green and some wings and be Absynith/Green Fairy like in the film

I might throw a moulin rouge fancy dress just to do this! 😂

I'm not a fan either, I'm a size 20-22 and not particularly body confident. I'm tall, which sounds great, but I feel I stick out even more.

In fact I've been invited to a fancy dress party next week and have pulled out

Could you wear a black dress with a low neck and high heels and just add something that might make it tie in with the theme. Spend time on your make up and hair and you already look good before you add anything.

It sounds as if it's a Tarts and Vicars type do. If so, and taking that as an example, a huge brightly coloured boa, low neck, dangly earrings and fishnet tights..

If it's a super hero theme, add a big crown from a fancy dress shop, wear a sash and carry a light flashing sabre (from a toyshop) High heels and a low neckline won't go amiss either. Maybe a massive costume jewellery brooch.

Use the low neckline black dress and high heels as a base to make you feel slimmer and taller and just add what ever might go with the theme.

I'm only a little taller than you (like 2 inches max) and an 18-20 and I'm a big girl cosplayer

The first time I was quite self conscious but people loved the costume and it gave me confidence. Sometimes it's "bigger" costumes like Ursula, sometimes it's someone like Gaston, not a typical "fat" costume

I think you've probably decided you look awful and can't help comparing yourself to your friends. Stop that.

Unless the theme is "Dress as Fiona from her old photos" then you can't be outing just giving the theme for us to give some ideas

I'm a fat lass @tiedyewhale myself, I'm much bigger than you and also not very tall.
I think you need to look at the parts of your body you dislike and find the ones you like and look at ways of emphasising and disguising.

I find with bigger lassies we wear too much fabric to hide ourselves which does and injustice to curves that would look much better without being swamped.

It's hard to give suggestions without a theme but it sounds like a sexy kind of dress up, pin up style lends it's self wonderfully to curvier women, would you be able to incorporate that style into the brief?

Whatever it is its hard to love and embrace a body you're not comfortable with, I'm trying to be Kinder to my own as I've struggled with my weight for years now so you have my sympathy, just try and focus on good features and try as hard as you can to not compare yourself to your friends. It's so hard and I get it, I'm about 5 stone above my ideal weight and it's so overwhelming at times, but being fat is far from the worst thing anyone could be and shouldn't stop them living life 💐

I'm all for the grotesque when it comes to fancy dress.

Moulin Rouge / go as the windmill.

I’m with you on every point OP 👏

As above. Dress you already own/are comfortable in, feather boa and hair feather.

Alternatively smart work trousers and a blouse/shirt and tie. Sleek hair back. Flip the script. Bonus points for getting someone to mark your shirt/face with a big red lipstick print.

I hate fancy dress whether I am going through a fat phase or a slim phase. It’s annoying.

Fancy dress is for those under 10.

I hate it with a passion and always say that I have plans that evening. I'm 5ft 4 and size 10-12.

If it’s this any nice black dress already owned, feather boa - Hair feather. No one is questioning it.

I defo think OP is taking it too seriously and far too literally. It doesn’t need to be perfect movie quality. The best costumes are usually tongue in cheek or have an ironic twist anyway.

To be honest, do you feel good with any photo? Because I’m taller (i always wanted to be short btw) and slimmer than you and don’t like any photos. Fancy dress I feel the same way as you. I’m like oh I’m too this I’m too that. And in reality fancy dress is stupid. Fun. But stupid. The idea of looking good in it is a bit moot. You can also just wear whatever you want and add to it like glasses or just make up or a scarf or hat. Kindly, is this really fancy dress or is it about your insecurities?

I agree with you if you are trying to reflect the same kind of aesthetic and style as the people who are using it as an exuse for the skimpy outfits. Don't go down that path.

Start with the party outfit that you feel comfortable and happy in. Working from that, your task is to think how to accessorise and augment it in a way that links to the fancy dress theme. Be imaginative, and remember you don't have to portray an exact likeness of anything, you can represent something conceptual. The art is in the justification. If a banana stuck to the wall with duct tape can be Great Art then the outfit you like wearing can be Fancy Dress. If you like, start a new thread with a one-off username and we will help you to brainstorm a link.

My beautiful and creative larger friend rocks the most amazing head pieces to fancy dress parties, which she makes herself. Because she wears normal party dresses she ends up looking miles better than all the dresses up folk.

Ditto. If I ever get an invite to a themed or fancy dress event my first thought is ‘how can i get out of this’

I attended a music weekend every year for over a decade until a new promoter took over and made each year a different theme - I hated that it stopped being about the music and became more about who had the most elaborate outfit

I’m a size 12 and wouldn’t be wearing a Xenia outfit either. I think you might be overthinking it a little.

You can definitely do something low key with accessories. Shame you can’t post the theme as there will some creative people who can come up with something good.

sixties theme, normal black trousers, tie dye t shirt, hippy flowers in your hair type of look.

I went to a movie star one dresses as Charlie Chaplin, just bought a cheap bowler hat on eBay, everything else I adapted what I already had or borrowed. (Had to keep the hat on to avoid the Hitler comparisons 😂)

Nice outfit and OTT accessories or plain outfit with accessories. Job done. I'm guessing it's Moulin Rouge or burlesque from the OP - black or red outfit, big hair and feathers and OTT makeup?

Hi OP, you ca do low key fancy dress. Pick an outfit you already have and feel comfortable in and thrn find a character and accessories to make thr costume. So if its leggings and a floaty top for example, you can be all sorts of things, witches hat, a top hat, some cat ears, add a cape, be a 'shadow', make a hat to be a traffic light, devil horns, wings. You dont have to actually buy a costume for fancy dress. I once went to a fancy dress as anlog. Just wore brown and pinned some twigs and leaves on.

Absolutely this. I don't go if I can avoid it. I find it pointless.