To make myself some brekkie

I just ask dh if he wants what I'm making, eg, "I'm making a coffee, do you want one?" It's just polite isn't it. I would want him to ask me if he was making a hot drink.I wouldn't do this though, if I was grabbing something instant, like a biscuit, or a yoghurt or something. I wouldn't for a bowl of cereal either tbh as it takes seconds. Dh likes different cereal to me and adds fancy sprinkle stuff on the top, etc, so it is easier he does his own as well.
I think if your dh couldn't use the kitchen, he could have shouted through to get him something. I think he is being OTT, and precious. You said you called through asking if he wanted anything as well.

Ignoring brekkie as it's an awful word, along the lines of hubby, yes you should have asked him when making yours.

Depends what breakfast was..

Weetabix? Ok to do your own.
Eggs on toast? Check with DH.
Porridge? Grey area...

I don't make meal without asking all those in the house (and awake) if they want some, it's polite

I think he may have thought the surprise was breakfast rather than cookies

@SilkSquare but the OP did ask if he wanted something... it’s not like she just ignored him and had her breakfast wo saying a word to him.

Having said that, I agree that both of their reaction is a symptom of a relationship that’s struggling.

Well the OP asked him if he wanted something!
Its just that he didn’t like the fact she had already made her own…

Vut tbh, I’d have assumed my dh already had breakfast. I mean yes the dd was cooking but it wont take taken her 3 hours to make cookies. But the OP did a park run and then a shop. I wouldn’t have expected my dh to have been waiting for me to be back so that I’m the one to do his breakfast tbh.

If I was making myself something to eat or drink and my husband was in the house, I'd ask him if he would like some.
He would do the same.

That's because we like each other-don't have power struggles and like to make life that bit easier for the person. do a kind gesture to make life a bit smoother, let them know they're cared about.

You didn't make him something when you were making yourself something to eat, didn't even ask him if he had a mouth on him.
Then he kicked off at you and you don't give a shit because you're going out.
Yes, he could have had something ready for you when you came in from running but he didn't bother his arse because he doesn't want to make life smoother for you by doing a small kindness.

What a mismatched unloving pair.

Then along come posters asking how often he makes breakfast for you-what a transactional way to live.
Others come along, sarcastically calling him The Big Man.

I imagine they have similar non loving relationships,watching all the time to make sure the other doesn't get an extra iota-whether that be a loving action, an hour undisturbed or a cup of tea.

Seems like a petty reason to be hitting the roof over! I’m quite agreeable and easy to get along with though so not sure what most other people would think

make breakfast not break breakfast!

It would never cross my mind to break breakfast for anyone else. We all get up and leave the house at slightly different times and everyone fends for themselves. Whoever makes the coffee, leaves enough for the others. My only exception is if I am making pancakes, I'll make them for whomever wants them.

Couldn't bear to be in a situation where people are getting arsey with me for not putting their cereal in a bowl.

He’s definitely the dick @Raindropskeepfallinonmyhead
Hope you have a great night out, and it doesn’t spoil your evening.

That’s what I thought. If I’m making something I ask if he wants any, and if he’s making something he asks me. I thought that’s what people who live together and like each other do, but clearly not

Sounds to me as though he was sulking at being shut out of the kitchen and wanted to take it out on you. I would have assumed he'd got himself something at some point, to be honest.

But she did offer!!! Where's the selfishness?! Why does it matter if it's the exact same time as hers or afterwards?! He was being made some cookies ffs! What a stroppy arsey rude manchild. I cannot begin to imagine being in an arse because I'd been offered some breakfast by the person who had just made theirs. If he was starving he could have knocked on the door!!! Jesus wept.

How does it even matter what it was. I can't think of anything that isn't more efficient to make two of at once, rather than one and then start again. Even if it was cereal, it's getting another bowl from one place, another spoon from another, the milk out again...while mine goes soggy!

It must have seemed like an afterthought, which is a bit shit. I wouldn't like it if DH was about eat his and then offered to go back and sort mine while his waited. I'd just do it myself. Because cookies don"t need to be a surprise. They're still a treat. And there's no way he didn't hear her baking.

👌

But do you then make it for hubby?

YANBU, you offered him breakfast.

We only have brekkie on holibobs or at Crimbo.

If it’s normal in your home to make each other breakfast.
Then I’d understand him being a bit miffed.

However him hitting the roof is way too much of an overreaction.

It's usually very simple isn't it and even if OP made something complicated for herself, I don't see why it necessarily has to be made for everyone.
How do they eat when they both work? Surely, each person can make their own breakfast?

I don't think anyone can answer really OP without knowing-

• what it was you cooked
• what's the norm in your house

If everyone normally gets their own breakfast, or if it was just a slice of toast or cereal then he was being ott and rude. If you have some sort of rule that one of you makes breakfast for everyone and the other makes lunch, or if you always sit down for a cooked breakfast all together at the weekend and he had been waiting for you for hours, then you were being rude.

It depends on what you have for breakfast, surely?