Woken up by adult kids AGAIN.... AIBU

@rubberduck68 hugs and 💐

I really feel for you.

No!

Not "they" anything. She no longer is welcome at any hour.

The son is behaving like a child, not an adult. Children don't determine the rules of the house.

OP, if he is using his physical size and strength as a means to disobey you, you really need to kick him out.

@rubberduck68 funny - that was going to be my suggestion! Change the locks - or leave your key in the lock!
You could also message him and say you’re fed up of being ignored and treated like a free hotel, so he can get himself alternative accommodation, you’ll even help him pack…

Nothing to stop you doing that.

Dear son and gf
From now on the front door is bolted at 11.30pm.
Anyone not home will sleep elsewhere. No discussion.
My house my rules. And I yanbu to wake them at 7.00am to discuss it should clarification be required.
Love that tactic...

I think you should go full on Xena Warrior Princess levels of tonto in your son's bedroom right now, @rubberduck68 .

Throw open his closet doors with a dramatic flourish, produce a suitcase and start throwing his worldly goods and chattels into it whilst screaming, You've pushed me too far this time, boyo! then throw it all on a heap on your front lawn. Preferably with the neighbours taking photos watching.

I am only half in jest. They are treating you like shit and you're allowing it.

You certainly need strong words with him. He's doing nothing at all in his career/ job world, he could work at a supermarket etc to earn money to pay rent. You need to insist that he's an adult and is becauving like a child and no woman worth their salt would put up with that once she has a degree and a job, she'll be surrounded by men who contribute and work, who have grown up, he's being an entitled little boy at the moment

Give him a fright. Next time they go out at night bolt the doors so they can’t get back in and ignore any calling by banging on the door or phoning you to get you up so they let you in. Afterwards in the following day tell them that they will not be getting in the house after 11pm as they disturb you and don’t care about it at all. Do this a few times and they will get the message. Don’t take nonsense from either of them as it is YOUR house. They can stay at her student let if they get home late.

no but you can make him leave the house. You can enter his room and start stuffing his possessions into black sacks!

I thought you said summer, so I assumed 3 months maximum.
And, no, of course it’s not normal. Obviously you have every right to tell your son to stop being a selfish prick and for his girlfriend to never stay again. It’s your house, you can do what you like. But MN is full of people who are “NC” with their parents, and women who refuse to allow evil MIL to be involved with grandchildren, and I know I’d be scared of turning this into a huge battle when I just had 3 months left to tolerate. But that’s just my view as an outsider. I’m not living it like you are.

oh say it! I bet you won't regret it

He may be an adult but he is behaving like a child. He has no responsibilities and does not pay his way. Give him an ultimatum. He may prefer to wait until his girlfriend has finished at Uni before moving to his dad's, but tell him that that option is no longer available. He moves out now. He has no job so he can move immediately. He is actually making you ill.

You tell him he can start packing now!
Especially as he pays nothing

I would message him and tell him to have the decency to come downstairs and have a conversation like an adult, otherwise you will make a unilateral decision (and that would mean telling him to pack and leave). His behaviour is absolutely appalling. I agree with the PP who said he knows he's completely in the wrong.

The time for talking just expired. He is in his 20s but shows you huge disrespect, behaves like a 15yo and yet expects to sponge off you (presumably you fund his life as he has no job?). Then sits back and lets his rude GF lecture you on how you should behave in your own home?

I’d ban the GF completely from today. If he doesn’t like it he can get his own flat and have her over as much as he likes. Then just repeat that every single time he complains. And get her keys back.

I’d tell him his behaviour towards you is completely unacceptable and he should make plans to get a job and pay rent or move to his dad’s by the end of March. Then enforce this boundary. He doesn’t deserve your support and loyalty if he thinks it’s OK to slam a door in your face.

You are not asking for much and they are both being outrageous CFs - no more pussy footing around them. Zero tolerance!

You need to kick him out!

I worked in a club one uni summer. I used to get the taxi driver to drop me off at the entrance to our very small road, walk quietly to our door, open and lock it as quietly as possible and tip toe upstairs and make as little noise as possible getting to bed. These two are ridiculously entitled!

Why don't you kick him out? Lazy, disrespectful, inconsiderate lout.

I wouldn't be talked to like that.

This disrespect ends now - no more sleepovers from her again. That's it, the line has been well and truly crossed.

If they suggested that to me their feet wouldn't touch the ground, sounds like the Dingles out of Emmerdale 😂.

He knows what you are going to say, and likely knows you are right to then say it. So he is avoiding it.

You're in the right in drawing a firm boundary in place today.