Woken up by adult kids AGAIN.... AIBU

Hopefully it’s all sorted.
if it goes back to the was it was I would be hoovering the landing outside their door, at 6am, 7am, 8am, 9am due to my sudden cleaning desire that only affects the area outside his bedroom door, I’d probably be cranking up the 90’s anthems up as loud as possible without upsetting the neighbours.

Yes he is an adult and no he doesn’t have a curfew. BUT if he and his girlfriend want to bang around and make loads of noise, they can do it in their own place. It’s incredibly rude and disrespectful to do it to you in your own home. And no way would I be getting called to a meeting in my home by some girlfriend and I would tell them both straight. Very childish behaviour.

@Julimia

whats ridiculous about OP wanting a peaceful nights sleep in HER house??
and it is her house, she pays the mortgage - her son doesn’t even pay rent

Don't be ridiculous. It is still his home too and he is not 14. Never heard such nonsense.

I would just decide that she cannot spend the night any longer. They can go to her parents to crash. Your DS can move out if he doesn't like the decision.

You deserve peace and quiet at night and restful sleep. Apologies are meaningless when given, and then the same behavior is repeated over and over.

@Julimia

why should she suck it up? And err yes, more sleepless nights will not be good for OP! And what do you mean “we’re not talking about children”?

I don't agree that no limits can be applied to your son as he lives there.
Part of being an adult is being considerate and not making a nuisance of yourself and any guest you bring home.
Disturbing the sleep of another adult who needs sleep to function at work the next day is so not on.
My DS and his DGF stayed with me for 9 months once. I set a boundary that I didn't want to hear anything and they adhered to it.

Suck it up they'll be gone soon it seems. Does it really matter that much? A few more sleepless nights won't make that much difference will they? And we are not talking about children here. Sorry

Of course she’s turning up after work because she wants to! If she didn’t want to she’d go to her own home. Any amount of noise that wakes someone up in the early hours is an unreasonable amount of noise, if they weren’t making any noise Op would still be sleeping and there’d be no issue.

Oh ffs.

She has her own home. There is zero reason they can't hang out there.

I’d say this too. She doesn’t live with you, she can go to her own house those nights. And if they don’t like it and are telling you can’t give curfews because they’re adults then it’s time to find their own place.

Entitlement is the name of their game but you don't have to play it. Your house, your shout.

What!? That should have been your cue to get a bucket of cold water and chuck it over him!
This is all happening because you are allowing it.
Woman up, as they say. Your house, your rules. No more messing about. Final warning, then they’re both out. Ungrateful brats. Take back control!

Stand firm op. Keep the boundaries in place.

The second you get disrespected again in YOUR home, ban the two off them

I did actually read it but wanted to throw my two pennorth worth in anyway 😂

Virtually this whole page is posters who haven't read the OP's successful update!

I think you need to start hoovering outside their bedroom door and playing loud music at 7am.

When my now ex husband I stayed with my parents, I came in totally blitzed and being very noisy. I got told off for it next morning as my dad was up for work and getting my brother and sister up for school. I never disregard my parents 'rules' they set. If I wanted my boyfriend to stay we had to remember there were other people to think about not just us.

Historically whenever I have put a boundary down with these two I am called to a meeting by them a few days later where she claims I don't like her

Erm, what?!

Take his key off him and tell him that if he's not home by midnight he sleeps somewhere else.

If he wants to be treated like an adult he has to behave like one.

As they have stated they are now adults so if they don't like the rules then leave and then they can do what they like in their own home.

No more sleepovers.
The cheek of her to start saying "you don't like me" well love you're making yourself very UNLIKEABLE to your future potential MIL turning up in the small hours being noisy! I would have never dreamed of being this disrespectful to a boyfriends parents (or even my own it was creep in as quietly as possible!). She can go be noisy in her student digs.

She's at work, it's not like she's just turning up at your home at 3am because she wants to. If they're being really noisy then yeah they'll have to cut that out. Are they though? Is it unreasonable noise? Or are you just overly sensitive because you no longer want them living there? It's hard to decide on this without the other side to the story.

The limited lifespan of your loved ones does not mean you should have to tolerate any unnecesary negative externalised costs from them. Even more so in this case where the request is if you are coming in during the small hours, please keep the noise to a minimum, which is an easy request to follow.

You are not being unreasonable- people who work hours like this have to live alone or make a real effort not to wake anyone up. This girl is not your child and she doesn't have to work in a nightclub. Do not rise to the bait of your son saying you re not understanding- why should you be? Regularly not sleeping well has huge health implications- this girl will be earning top dollar for working those kind of hours- what's your motivation to risk huge health implications?

To put a different spin on this, my son and his girlfriend used to do this. My husband thought I was mad as I would get up and have a cup of tea with them and catch up on their day. My son was killed 7 years ago and I wish I could just have one more of those middle of the night chats with him, the house is too quiet now. Please enjoy your children, warts and all, u never know how long u have them for x