AIBU to ask people not to guilt trip over on the S&B boards?

YANBU I hate it too. There was a very enjoyable discussion about handbags not that long ago which only worked because the OP made a thread title that deliberately didn’t reference handbags so the discussion was able to stay on topic. It was called Trumpets and Benches after a couple of suggestions that previous posters had suggested someone would be better off spending their money on instead of a handbag.
There is another type of S&B poster I find equally annoying and that is the kind who post to tell you that they have no interest in fashion. I don’t know why they do it. Perhaps they think it makes them superior in some way? I can’t imagine them going on a thread about football for example to tell everyone how they never watch it and think it’s a waste of time.

Oh the handbag threads get the crazy people out - generally someone will post within 2-3 posts to say they would buy a 50p bag for life and spend the rest on a mini break. (Because a bag you’ll take to work /use daily for years is a waste of money, but a rainy weekend in Bath is a sensible use of your funds.)

Bless ‘em, they always think they are saying something original and not at all showing their lack of value for women that they are completely comfortable with they much money being spent on something unnecessary, just as long as a woman who’s a mother isn’t the only person who benefits from the unnecessary spending. (See also suggestions you buy art or furniture instead of jewellery- the most important thing is a woman never spends her money in a way that only benefits her, if her dh and dcs also benefit, then it’s ok.)

It's funny because you'd think the holiday board would suffer the same fate, but that still seems relatively safe, very infrequently do I see people jumping on to make some kind of moral judgement or guilt trip.

And I'm not sure I've ever seen it in property or the DIY spaces where people will be spending lots of money.

YANBU!

“Can someone recommend a dress suitable for an older lady attending a summer wedding? I’m conscious about my arms, but it will be 30 degrees as in Italy.”

”Ask the people in Ghana suffocating under piles of fast fashion how they feel about buying a new dress every time you have a party”

Argh.

She couldn’t know. Also, maybe they simply have the money for it and prioritise their appearance. I get my nails done every 3 weeks, £45 a pop. I’m not rich exactly, but it doesn’t break the bank and frankly, I’m not interested in spending that money on any worthier things or causes.

I have this mantra: „Me, Me, Me”. And then anything and anyone else. If more women adopted it, they would be a lot happier, I think 😁

I do, happily. And I feel not the slightest guilt for doing so. Now run along and keep up with all the self sacrificing work that I’m completely sure you’re doing. Or more like just being a keyboard warrior.

I suggest that you spend your compensation money exactly on what you want, when you want, and de*il take the hindmost!

I think what happens is that S&B threads turn up in active or trending and people who have absolutely no interest in S&B turn up to let everyone know that they have absolutely no interest in S&B.

It's fine to ignore them though.

Thank you for putting a smile on my face. I'm heartbroken today as I had to have my beautiful labrador put to sleep yesterday, but I've just cracked a smile at your hilarious post 😂

I completely agree. There was a thread the other day where a poster was asking how can people afford to get their nails done in a cost of living crisis. How does she know that the people she saw in the salon only treat themselves once a year? Or they had a voucher? And so what if they go more often? Life is so depressing for many people at the moment, so why the hell shouldn’t they cheer themselves up, without being made to feel like shit.

Op YANBU at all! I think it's when a thread pops up in Active and people fall over themselves to show their worthiness without caring which board it's on.

Yes this!!

I can be concerned about the world AND want good skincare!

(Sorry I know that's not guilt tripping, I just mean it was in contradiction to the general lightheartedness of that sub forum).

I agree, I was looking for some advice looking for what to wear at a certain holiday destination and instead got a patronising and snarky response (from a well known, non name changing, prolific poster no less) about the 'tackiness' of the destination I was going to and that I should just wear anything as it wouldn't matter.

So bloody unnecessary and really got my back up! I asked for the thread to be deleted.

Perhaps MNHQ could amend the “i” info text below the board’s title. The bit that starts: looking for style advice? To say that the board is a hobby/lighthearted board and that any posts not in the spirit of style and beauty will be deleted.

i imagine you are talking about stuff like someone asking about shades of lipstick and a poster replies saying you are lucky to afford it or there are kids dying in Gaza? If so, that stuff could be deleted if the “i” text made it clear it wasn’t allowed.

😅

YANBU. Despite what people seem to think, women contain multitudes. We can ask a question about moisturiser while also caring about the Israel-Gaza conflict. We can need a dress for a wedding and also donate to food banks.

These types of posters seem to think that they can glean your entire life and all your interests from one comment or a single thread. They are completely lacking in imagination.

Yanbu at all!!

Can't bear the 'I've got it worse than you' Olympics.

'im typing this message out with my left hand as I've broken my other arm'

'WELL JUST THINK YOURSELF LUCKY OP. MY AUNTIE IS JUST A HEAD AND CANT EVEN TYPE'

I only go on the Style and Beauty topic if there is a thread flagged up as " new" or "trending" and there are no other threads of interest to me on any of the topics I follow at that moment in time to read.

I'm afraid I find the seriousness with which a lot of posters on that board to find the " right" thing to wear actually takes me aback.

But what really is disturbing are the links to items of clothing which are quite patently hideous but which because they are " on trend" are seemingly what we should all be wearing even if they don't suit us.

It's very hard to read some of the threads and not post something because of the ridiculousness of it.. The Emperors new clothes always comes onto my mind when I read some of the threads
.
In mitigation I do try and avoid reading that board for the majority of the time.

I completely agree with you op but you can thank mnhq for this. This site has terrible navigation where users jump about the topics through the active and suggested threads functions not paying attention to what section theyre in and don't look at the date the original post was made. Overwhelming number of irrelevant sections and Zombie threads and no moderation.

Unfortunately they will say that you are not the thread police and they can post where they like. They are just nasty sad individuals who want to argue. Don't give them attention and let them go elsewhere (hopefully outside in the fresh air).

There are posters like that on every board about everything. That’s what MN is like. It won’t change.
It’s worse when people come on to boards where they know the posters are probably vulnerable like mental health to deliberately goad them.
All you can do is post specific things in the appropriate section when you need advice or support, ignore or report unnecessary/ nasty replies and take everything else with a pinch of salt.
If you’re feeling vulnerable, take a step back from mn, maybe look at some fashion and beauty stuff elsewhere online or a magazine or something.
You come on here for the reasons you’ve mentioned. Others come on to argue and wind people up. There’s not that much can be done about it except report the posts.

Totally bloody agree. I hardly buy any clothes these days but I go to S and B for light relief. Not to be told to donate to charity ( I do donate to charity).
Also if you are triggered by people spending £2 k on a bag, don't go on there to tell everyone that's what you earn in a month. Just stay off it.