AIBU to ask people not to guilt trip over on the S&B boards?

What does S & B stand for?

Wrt to posts asking how people afford to get their nails done ... really?!

I'm guessing they are clumsily trying to make a point about the wealth gap?

YANBU OP, i hate chip pissing. But can i point out, for the sake of conversation ...

i see you sailing a little close to justifying spending big bucks on something for yourself because of the circumstances you got the money. Do you see?

Fuck where it came from.

An accident payout.
Great Aunt Sally popping her clogs.
Saving up your wages.
Just basic being well off enough to be able to do it.

It's money floating around in the system and will pass on through it and none of it is more worthy because of how the last person to handle it got their hands on it.

Sali Hughes is brilliant at responding to this kind of take. Whenever she did a Guardian article there would be below the line comments asking whyowhy women spend money on trivial beauty products when XYZ is happening in the world.

"Nobody looks at men’s hobbies ever and defines men by those hobbies. No one says ‘Paintballing? I bet you don’t know what’s going on in Syria’”.
www.irishtimes.com/life-and-style/people/sali-hughes-of-course-you-can-be-a-feminist-and-care-about-how-you-look-1.2037157

Yes I loved that and the thank yous from it always heart warming

And 'afternoon tea trays'.

Where people competed to have the best tea trays.

I think that was just before Mouldies. My oldest is 18 now, and I was preggo with him then.

It really does. That’s why I’m on the verge of just quitting MN.

I agree. But it goes far beyond S&B.

But the competitive misery on here, and actually also the competitive wealth, are both destroying my will to post on MN. S&B can go both ways. I see people giving a budget and then others posting wildly more expensive (and often quite niche) options and being snotty about cheaper retailers, as much as I do people being arses about higher expenditure. There’s room for all of us to just be ourselves on here surely?

Yeah I asked about a funeral outfit and got told it wasn't about me
God forbid I wanted to look nice for my own mothers funeral

That’s a lovely thing to do. I realise I’ve made it look like it was another poster buying me the blanket though and it was in fact DH. I wouldn’t have accepted anything as generous from someone else!

Do you remember the Christmas giving thing?

That was nice.

When this were all hills I sent three pairs of 7forallmankind jeans that I wasn't wearing to a poster that was struggling a bit.

That wouldn't happen now.

I agree and also like another poster wants to include the Christmas forum in this.

A while ago I asked for places that had cute wrapping paper for my dd2 stocking. I got a response stating
"I mean this kindly... it goes in the bin"

Now 1 as a rule when someone claims to mean it kindly they are aleays about to say something negative
2 I know it goes in the bin this doesn't mean I can't want something nice.

I did respond "Really??? I had no idea.. (Have you never done something nice for someone simply to make them smile)

I also received some good suggestions and found some pretty paper that did make dd2 smile a lot.

I disagree with the poster who said this is how mn is it won't change. Now I'm an oldie as I've been a member from 2000. I can state it was NOT how it was so it CAN change. Like with everything people has to want to change and unless they get called out about it they won't see the need to.

This is scarily true!

YANBU - it is annoying. There are loads of things I see in active that I have no interest in, I just scroll on by.

I don't think we'll have worked peace if I stop using tret! If we did I would happily give it up.

Many years ago I posted on a much smaller forum where posters tended to ‘know’ each other if they had similar interests. I was going through an absolutely hellish family time and talking about it openly on there - it was saving my sanity at the time to be honest. In the middle of all this someone offered to buy me a really lovely blanket as a Christmas present. I had no experience with this kind of thing so started a thread elsewhere on the site to ask for recommendations for cashmere blanket sellers and got a totally horrible response about wanting to waste money on something like that when people had real problems in the world. Because it was a tiny site other posters immediately piled on to tell him what a prat he was being. But on MN we have none of that context so people end up being shat on all the time. It’s horrible.

The cat is currently looking very comfortable on my beautiful, ancient, cashmere blanket.

Strangers? You're not out the house are you?

Pretty sure that's dangerous.

Precisely. Wouldn't happen, would it?

Totally agree OP. It's the same with threads about celebrities who have died. You can almost guarantee that within a dozen posts someone will pop up with "who".

Personally, I think some of the posters on S&B need to get themselves to a decent optician, but that's not the point!

I snort-laughed on the train and surprised some strangers

Lipstick sales go up in times of crisis, it's a proven fact. There's also a story of someone giving lipsticks to women who'd survived being in a concentration camp, and even if they had no clothes they wore scarlet lipstick.

https://www.theguardian.com/business/2022/oct/14/lipstick-effect-britons--luxuries-cost-of-living-crisis (From 2022, but I read similar things in the 2000s/2010s after the recession.)

https://fransorin.com/one-small-act-kindness-saved-lives-impact-giving-lipsticks-women-brink-death/

I painted my nails the other day, the last time was over seven and a half months ago before DS was born. It made me feel like me again. 😊

The holiday ones are usually jumped on by posters saying they never fly anywhere because climate change blah blah. And we'd all do better staying at home and holidaying down the road.

Noooo.

The holiday board is fine.

If you send >10k.

Otherwise.

Prepare for incredulity.

I have this mantra: „Me, Me, Me”. And then anything and anyone else. If more women adopted it, they would be a lot happier, I think 😁

Love this! A lot of women on MN could do with adopting this mantra judging by half the threads on husbands and friendships.

Sorry about your doog @Ihateboris.

Arses gonna arse.

But yes, the 'WHY THE FUCK ARE YOU SPENDING 50P ON YOURSELF YOU PROFLIGATE NINNY' posts are ver' tedious.