AIBU to ask people not to guilt trip over on the S&B boards?

There's a perfume thread ?? Agggggggghhhhhhh

I suppose I should go and have a look for the purposes of empirical research.

Of course you are not being unreasonable, it is the ignorant twats, that must lead very sad and boring lives, who are the unreasonable ones. Unfortunately, even if they read your thread, they probably won't understand what you mean, because the feeling of empathy has probably not even fleetingly stopped at them! I hope your mum or dad is better than you fear 💐

I really enjoy S&B board sometimes, would never post about what's going on in the world, cost of living crisis, etc. because it's crass to do that.

The only time I've ever said something on the board is when posters there feel the need to put others down who don't wear X or have Y handbag. That's not on.

Otherwise, the board is great. I spend too much money when I go on any perfume thread there and the Advent calendar thread was nearly my undoing...

Its not my thing but good for you.

Otherwise we may as well just give up and wear a standard issue uniform like in North Korea.

@Travail i'm loving the sound of your style !

As someone who used to slope around central London in the late 80s chained at the waist to their best mate i appreciate a bit of individualism. However if I went out wearing no bra and a shirt open to the waist it wouldn't end well. 34H these days 😂

I'm not a habitue of the S&B boards, being neither stylish nor beautiful, but your request seems entirely reasonable to me, @BlackEyedFrozenPeas.

Yes! I saw that. Bonkers.

And GOD FORBID you wear heels.

Betrayer of women.

I just like making shapes with things I put on my body. Sometimes the shapes involve heels.

It's an art-form. You wouldn't understand.

We do at least seem to have lost the poster who on a thing finance related says ‘try living on the state pension’.

“I’m a single mum and I have a child in nursery. My wage won’t cover the childcare plus my rent. What shall I do?”

“Try living off the state pension! I didn’t even get free childcare hours when I had my children, we just made it work”

???

‘If you can't get your entire body in one leg, they're just straight.’ 😂

really tickled me! Your style sounds awesome

totally agree with this thread - joy suckers and ‘I just have to give my opinion despite knocking nuff-all about the subject’ people are awful! As someone else mentioned, it’s like the people who review an Amazon product with ‘I haven’t tried it yet’ - really wtf.

oh also the staggering levels of female criticism and comment on looks - all from women about other women - whilst simultaneously claiming it’s all men who drive fashion and women’s choices.

Have a look for the thread Trumpets & Benches on the style & beauty board. If I remember it was created off the back of a post that saw the original poster torn to shreds for asking for advice on what bag to spend roughly 1k on. On the original post she had such helpful suggestions like buy a bench, buy a trumpet, use a bag for life etc - generally being shamed for wanting to spend more than £2.50 on a bag.

Basically, it's a certain type of person who likes to make a Smug Sounding Virtue out of what is actually A Sad Necessity e.g.

"I am a nicer, more ethically and morally evolved poster who cares about serious issues on a global scale because that's just the kind of amazing, selfless person I am."

(in reality)

"I cannot afford expensive trinkets/make up and even if I could I don't have the self confidence/knowledge of how to shop for them. And even if I did buy them I know it's pointless because I have a face like a bag of spanners."

I dunno, I just enjoy a bit of fashion chat. I absolutely never recommend clothes. It's so personal. I'll give advice about finding your style, I could wax lyric on the subject 'til the heat death of the Universe. But I'm never going to suggest a random dress to someone.

It's a bonkers question to ask.

Suggest me an outfit?

NO!

That's never going to work. I could absolutely do that (and am frequently asked) for friends or family, but a woman I know nothing about?

How?

I understand why people ask, but you'll get such a bonkers disparate selection you'd be left more confused than when you started.

You'd be scratching your head like Stan Laurel thinking, 'Blimey, there's a lot of clothes out there aren't there?'.

Yeah that was me.
The thread had got many posts deleted because the feeling was it may have been written by "Brian" getting his kicks talking about feeling "super sexy" in his suspenders.

I have often said when I don't like a dress/ shoes/outfit etc and offered alternatives.
Suspenders are no different. Although apparently looking hot for your man clearly is.🙄
As it was I said the skirt she had gone with was nice.
I still stand firm on the suspenders. Although apparently that makes me "old" ( the worse of all sins), frumpy and boring ( as opposed to"super sexy" I guess)

But if opinions are being sought then they must be expected to be subjective.

But the answers should be to the question.

Thought I make exceptions for any negative comments on Shein and Temu. They're deserved

I'd like to ban the 'oh god, nobody dresses up in London' crew too. Literally every fashion house has shows and flagship stores in London. They're wasting their time if 'absolutely everyone' wears wide legs and trainers to all possible occasions. Shut down Selfridges while you're at it.

I love volume, all my best outfits are voluminous.

I lark at what most people consider to be wide legged trousers. If you can't get your entire body in one leg, they're just straight.

I love trapeze dresses, cloaks and long coats. No bra ever, mannish suiting with shirts undone to below my breasts, white shoes (I fucking love white shoes and boots, not trainers though, never trainers). Gigantic sunglasses and mad hair.

Many people may consider that hideous. I'm certainly not aiming to 'flatter' myself. I want to adorn myself with joy!

Well if you're asking for opinions then you're going to get opinions.

If you want someone to tell you it's lovely dear, ask your mum.

Yes, exactly. No one gets criticised for saying an early morning walk brings them joy. They're never jumped on for daring to find joy in life when there are children dying in Gaza.

But God forbid if you happen to find joy in your new Chanel lipstick or a nice pair of new shoes. It is so tiresome.

Agreed, some people just like to post irrelevant shite to make themselves feel better. Take it elsewhere.

Also, while we're on the topic please can the posters who feel the need to insult other people's suggestions and call them "Debenhams bargain bin picks" please get lost as well? I think MOST of the clothes suggested on S&B threads are hideous, but I'm not going to barge on a thread and declare this and talk about how my sense of style is obviously SO much more up to date (and then post some suggestions that wouldn't look out of place in a circus) thinking I was the editor of Vogue - because surprise surprise, we all have different tastes and likes and dislikes and what one person thinks is nice another may think looks hideous.

It's really quite strange when you think about it. To post purely to ask a bunch of strangers what they think about how something looks. Some will like it and some won't.

I've done it myself and will do it again no doubt. In fact i almost did it last night about a cabin bag.

The majority of posts on S&B aren't that simplistic of course. I'm just thinking out loud.

thanks for this link, it was so interesting!

Yes. I'm sick of the moaning on here about anyone spending money in general. I like reading about holidays, cars, clothes, beauty products etc.

I do wonder what goes through the moaning posters heads? They see a thread that includes the cost and/or item and then decide to post just to tell everyone there is a cost of living crisis and how anyone who spends money on things they enjoy is vapid and shallow.

Hideous is subjective though, surely?

I don't buy into the idea of 'flattering'.

Hideous appeals more.

@Travail
But yes, the 'WHY THE FUCK ARE YOU SPENDING 50P ON YOURSELF YOU PROFLIGATE NINNY' posts are ver' tedious.

Correct except that the word PROFLIGATE is not in their vocabulary.
What an irony.

Sex and Bondage