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Original poster

Is this rude or am I over sensitive

37 replies

Twonice · 01/03/2025 04:04

on a mini break with my (fairly new) partner and he isn’t feeling great and is in some discomfort.

I’m trying to give him space and to only chat when he feels like it.

After he complained for the 10000th time about the pain (which is fine, he’s totally entitled), I said “I’m sorry babe. I really feel for you You must be so uncomfortable”.

He snapped back “can you just stop saying that. You’ve said it way too many times”.

It was a real slap on the face. He’s spent two days complaining about pain and I have basically run out of different things to say in response. Not to mention I DO feel for him, and was just speaking my thoughts.

Maybe I have said that a few times and I’m sure it’s unhelpful but what else am I supposed to do? Smile and nod every time? (I have done lots of smiling and nodding too, incidentally, at some points).

His sharp response was really biting.

OP posts:
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LadyKenya · 01/03/2025 09:22

pictoosh · 01/03/2025 08:24

Is he not adult enough to know if he needs A&E?
She's not his mum.

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What a ridiculous thing to say. Sometimes Adults do not recognise that they need to go to A&E. Nobody on here knows what is wrong with him. He could have a medical condition for all anybody knows.

Crichel · 01/03/2025 09:17

Isittimeformynapyet · 01/03/2025 09:15

Why does the takeaway have to be small?

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If he’s in agony, he’s presumably unlikely to be that hungry? Though this brings us back to why he’s apparently not sought any treatment for whatever this pain is during the trip.

Isittimeformynapyet · 01/03/2025 09:15

user1492757084 · 01/03/2025 07:22

He's in pain. Leave him in a dark cool space with a phone and go out for the rest of the day.
Ask if he needs water or Panadol. Make sure they are nearby.
Tell him you will be back about dinner time and that you can come home with a small take away. Is there anything he's craving?
Go out and relax. He, hopefully, will apologise later.

Why does the takeaway have to be small?

Pikola · 01/03/2025 08:52

If its toothache I would let it go.

Pain makes you act unlike yourself, especially if you are on holiday and were looking forward to it. Unless he made you feel threatened or anything I would just let it go personally given the circumstances.

Crichel · 01/03/2025 08:51

Why isn’t he doing anything about this pain?

Hhoudini · 01/03/2025 08:46

I think you’ve done amazingly to still be sympathetic after so much complaining.

Admittedly I have no patience for ‘poorly’ people - people who are ill I have all the sympathy in the world for but people who just complain about it constantly and (I know you didn’t say he’s done this but in my head I’m imagining this) people who put on a poorly voice, I just need to distance myself from.

Leave him to his poorliness and go and do something you enjoy. Then when he’s better, tell him how much of a dick he was.

pictoosh · 01/03/2025 08:41

My first post asked what his condition actually is...that detail being useful for context.

Lionwoman · 01/03/2025 08:38

On the other hand if he’s not seriously ill and it transpires he’s a hypochondriac, I’m afraid I would be out of there asap 😉😂

Lionwoman · 01/03/2025 08:35

pictoosh · 01/03/2025 08:24

Is he not adult enough to know if he needs A&E?
She's not his mum.

Show quote history

@pictoosh yep good point however OP’s bf’s situation depends on what the illness is that’s causing the pain. If it’s something serious he would be too ill to have the capacity to make that decision. Therefore she has to step up. However she hasn’t shared that detail has she. Maybe he’s not enjoying the trip and is using it as an excuse to not interact with her.

Largestlegocollectionever · 01/03/2025 08:29

He’s showing you who he is when he’s in pain / life isn’t perfect and I can’t stand someone who goes on and on when they’re ill, it’s awful.
Such martyrs and drama queens!

personally, this would give me the ick and I’d be gone 🤷🏽‍♀️

pictoosh · 01/03/2025 08:24

Lionwoman · 01/03/2025 08:20

To me, the snapshot you’ve written makes you sound, selfish, uncaring and inconsiderate regarding his situation. Actions speak louder than words. If anyone I was with was complaining of pain the whole time we were away, this would concern me enough to take them to A and E. What was wrong with him? What was causing the pain? Does he have a medical condition that you’re not aware of? Instead of bitching about him on here take him to a medical centre!

Is he not adult enough to know if he needs A&E?
She's not his mum.

MinnieCoops · 01/03/2025 08:21

Was it the 'babe'? DH would snap if I called him that too. It's icky.

Lionwoman · 01/03/2025 08:20

To me, the snapshot you’ve written makes you sound, selfish, uncaring and inconsiderate regarding his situation. Actions speak louder than words. If anyone I was with was complaining of pain the whole time we were away, this would concern me enough to take them to A and E. What was wrong with him? What was causing the pain? Does he have a medical condition that you’re not aware of? Instead of bitching about him on here take him to a medical centre!

healthybychristmas · 01/03/2025 08:19

How else did you stop yourself from saying: well, you stop bloody going on about your pain then! What do you want me to say?

Onlycoffee · 01/03/2025 08:18

What happened next is important op. Did he apologise for snapping at you?

What does he want you to do?? Not saying to pander to him but is he usually bad at communicating what he wants?

He's taking his pain out on you and that is not ok. You're not being too sensitive to be upset by it.

WhatTheKey · 01/03/2025 08:10

DoloresDelEriba · 01/03/2025 04:19

What’s wrong with him? What sort of pain?

Sounds like a pain in the arse!

BananaBubbless · 01/03/2025 08:07

Being in pain makes you snappy. I’d suggest going home.

Lurkingandlearning · 01/03/2025 08:06

Well now you know how he behaves like a dick when he’s unwell. There’s no need to snap at someone who is trying to help or sympathise even though some people think it’s ok.

As you don’t mention that he’s had medical attention, I assume it’s something minor like sunburn or constipation. If so he definitely needs to grow up and sort himself out.

Just tell him you only said that way too much because you’d run out of responses to him whining too much.

autisticbookworm · 01/03/2025 07:58

"I appreciate you are uncomfortable but don't take it out on me. If you don't want to talk about your pain dont bring it up"

pictoosh · 01/03/2025 07:43

Alarm bells are ringing for me.

Can you tell us more about his condition? Some context would help to advise you better.

How is he normally?

crackfoxy · 01/03/2025 07:40

Urgh this would be a dealbreaker for me, sorry he sounds like a wuss and a moaner

Fraaances · 01/03/2025 07:33

Get another room

oopsohdear · 01/03/2025 07:26

Tell him to stop telling you he's in pain if he doesn't want a response and that you already know he's in pain, so it's not new information.

user1492757084 · 01/03/2025 07:22

He's in pain. Leave him in a dark cool space with a phone and go out for the rest of the day.
Ask if he needs water or Panadol. Make sure they are nearby.
Tell him you will be back about dinner time and that you can come home with a small take away. Is there anything he's craving?
Go out and relax. He, hopefully, will apologise later.

OneDaringDreamer · 01/03/2025 07:16

I wouldn’t like it but if it’s the first time he’s snapped then it’s most likely cos he’s in pain.
however I’d still want an apology

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