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Original poster

To be annoyed at the way DH is as a father/husband

135 replies

sushiandarollie · 28/02/2025 21:06

Married couple of years; have one DC aged 3. Struggling to have a second through many rounds of ivf (I’m desperate to have more). DH has had health issue after married (now in remission). So it’s been stressful. DH irritates me so much .He was always a bit lazy with house chores etc before DC . But he struggles to take any initiative to do things by himself (doesn’t put washing in basket/wash up/change toilet roll/ clean up). Tonight he ‘forgot ‘ to brush DC teeth before bed. Probably the 5th time he’s forgot. I worry he literally would not be able to do the basics if it came to it (if I was away or anything) . It winds me up and I get so angry with his inability to do anything. Please tell me if not just me ?!

OP posts:
Maitri108 · 28/02/2025 21:21

I'm guessing that you're so desperate to have another child you don't care about the father. It's pretty obvious that you're going to be single handedly dealing with two children while he puts his feet up.

At least you're married which means you'll hopefully get a share of the assets when you divorce.

PoppyP19 · 28/02/2025 21:19

This sounds like a one way road to resentment. You need to communicate with him and in an honest frank way! You do not have to put up with this nonsense, and he is perfectly capable of taking responsibility but right now, you overcompensate for his laziness. You’ll end up exhausted, full of resentment and when you eventually leave him, you’ll be a shell of the woman you once were!

LadyGaGasPokerFace · 28/02/2025 21:17

What is dh in remission with?

parietal · 28/02/2025 21:16

When I married dh, I told him I was never doing his ironing and we would share all chores equally. And I've stuck to that. Dh had to learn to care for the kids and sort the cooking etc juts as much as me.

Men aren't incapable of doing chores, they just prefer not to.

RoastDinnerSmellsNice · 28/02/2025 21:14

If you dislike him this much OP, why would you want to have another child with him?

SeeYouNextThriday · 28/02/2025 21:13

Stop trying to have a second child.
He needs to step up. So many of us have been there, and sadly it gets worse.

If it can be fixed do it before considering having another child.

Wishyouwerehere50 · 28/02/2025 21:12

SweetBabyCheesus · 28/02/2025 21:09

To be honest OP, I can't even get into this discussion, because it drives me to rage.

Mine is one of the decent ones, and even he is shit. They do it because they can, and they're all fucking useless. There.

I ponder often whether it's a can't or whether it's a won't. I don't know the answer and wonder if we ever will.

I've been single for 10 years though so doesn't impact me too much.

I just couldn't cope with this and would probably end up in prison so it's safer for everyone I don't get myself another one of them.

Strawberryfruitcorner · 28/02/2025 21:11

So what are you going to do about it? Potentially have another kid with him and make life even harder for yourself?

You need to have a serious talk with him, he will either change or he won’t, you either leave or you don’t.

Paulettamcgee · 28/02/2025 21:10

Whilst you want a second child, this is a perfect time to take stock and ask yourself what will your life be life in 2 years time. Your DH has shown himself to you, believe him. Anything you do next needs to happen with intention.

SweetBabyCheesus · 28/02/2025 21:09

To be honest OP, I can't even get into this discussion, because it drives me to rage.

Mine is one of the decent ones, and even he is shit. They do it because they can, and they're all fucking useless. There.