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Original poster

Children at bedtime: losing it

28 replies

Cdu2021 · 28/02/2025 20:41

I wonder if my DC (6 and nearly 4) are especially hard work or if I'm just not patient enough.
I lose my s*** nearly every bedtime I do on my own (when DH isn't around, which is about 80% of the time).
A typically "tough" evening would be:

  • at dinner, both DC loudly bang their cutlery on the table, refuse to eat what I make, spill their water on the table on purpose, laugh at me when I get cross
  • brushing teeth: I have to yell about 10 times for them to go and do it, will end up with one of them spitting their toothpaste all over the mirror
  • getting into pyjamas is a battle, have to physically manhandle them to do it
  • lots of shouting and shrieking and general loud chaos...

At any point during the above I will lose it so badly that I might lock myself in the loo, or keep them "locked" in their bedrooms for time out for a few minutes, or manhandle them or tell them I will leave or all of the above, which will result in them crying and saying I am mean...
So please tell me if that's just a tough age but normal behaviour, and I need to control myself better?

OP posts:
pigmentandpixel · 28/02/2025 20:51

Bedtimes are rubbish but this does sound quite extreme. Are you using countdowns and consequences? Sounds like you need to reset their behaviour, just losing it at them isn't going to be effective, and I know it's easier to say but the emotional reaction from you could be exacerbating it further. Children like boundaries from their adults. Could they have some wind down time before the bedtime process starts, maybe some quiet, separate from each other reading or drawing? Could you stagger their bedtimes?

GiddyCrab · 28/02/2025 20:47

Pretty standard at that age. It will pass.

Willyoujust · 28/02/2025 20:46

Just wanted to say that I sympathise. We have a nightmare every bedtime too. And there’s two adults usually trying to get one child to bed! I have just started to read a book called, “How to talk so kids will listen and listen so kids will talk.” I’ve only read the first few pages and it seems really good. Maybe try a book like that with some tips on how to get them to co-operate. It seems like a routine and pattern they’ve got into that you need to try and break. Good luck xx