Am I being unreasonable to give birth away from the child’s father because he doesn’t want to get married?

He can provide security for his third child without giving it to the OP.

To provide security for the OP, who is quite obviously a gold digger, he would have to reduce his own security and that of his existing children. He would be an idiot to do that.

But she knew what was what before agreeing to get pregnant!

She hasn’t “flounced off”; it’s patently ridiculous to expect OP to put her and her child’s security at risk. Of course she needs to think about what’s best for her and her baby. That’s all.

Because he decided to have another child with her of course. He owes security to all his children, but if he’s not willing to provide it for his third child, then OP needs to do so , which she can only manage by staying put.

Thats all.

If I was having a child with someone I would want that to be someone who prioritises their children above others, it sounds like this is what this man is doing.

No, actually we don't. Not only has the OP not given that information, but there's at least one country fitting the other side of the world description where it's possible to apply for a court order to be added at a later date. If that were within the first 12 months, it would meet the requirement in UK law. We simply do not know. The OP hasn't said. Certainly one can invent scenarios where it doesn't happen, but those are worth nothing because they're made up. Although that's a separate point to the one I've been making, which is that the claim about needing to be on the birth certificate was wrong.

You stated that the claim that he needed to be on the birth certificate in order to pass citizenship was to all intents and purposes true. As the DNA option means that isn't true at all, I asked you to explain how that could be true. You still haven't. As I asked that before any of the other questions you've since added, you'll need to go first.

100% stay where you can afford to live and where you have support. Don't get stuck in the UK with someone who doesn't prioritise you as you could end up losing your much wanted child to him. If he is half decent he might send maintenance. If he doesn't then you don't want to be around him anyway

Also UK likely to be getting poorer due to geopolitics.

I think you should stay where you are with your support system.

Why do you think he should take security away from his children and give it to the OP, who is an adult and capable of earning and saving money for herself?

How is it misogyny when he was honest and open from the start and it’s the OP who has changed the rules? And because she hasn’t got what she wanted, she’s flounced off with a he knows how to fix this.

You are being very unreasonable to demand marriage, you knew his terms before you decided to have a child with him.
You sound like you are either using your unborn child to get citizenship or to control him.

FFS don’t listen to this misogynistic crap.

OP this man is not offering you any kind of security. He’s chosen that.

Absolutely you need to protect yourself and your baby. If you give birth in the UK, you won’t be able to leave without his permission. You need to stay where your family/ support is.

You know the reason he won't be on the birth certificate. He won't be there when the baby's birth is registered. Not unless the OP comes back and gives birth in the UK and invites him to the appointment, which clearly isn't going to happen. There's no "for whatever reason" about it. He won't be on it. He can't be on it.

Now, I never suggested that DNA evidence isn't a way of proving paternity.

What I asked you was how this gets done in practice, when the father and child are on the opposite side of the world to each other, and both the father and mother have their own reasons for not wanting it to happen?

What on earth were you thinking about buying a rental property with if you just about had enough to cover a flight and one night in a hotel? Was this property going to be in the U.K., or back in your home country? Or was that it, you thought you’d get half the house, ditch him and that would be your nest egg? Because that’s really how it reads. You sound much more interested in his assets than in him.
“He can fix this” presumably by acquiescing to your marriage demand? Well maybe he would but that doesn’t entitle you to half of everything, especially not if it’s a short marriage. Did you need him for a visa because your earnings alone aren’t enough? Was he genuinely, 100% on board with having another child? Given your initial posts and lack of response since, somehow I doubt it.

No but she seems to want to treat him as though he’s a donor so you can’t have it both ways. Not saying he won’t pay but I think she needs to be realistic when planning for her future if this is the approach she takes.

it sounds like if he wants to see his child ever it’s going to cost him a lot in travel and hotels. Large maintenance payments might be difficult on top of that.

Kids aren't pay to play

If he isn't on the birth certificate for whatever reason, which we do not know, there does in fact exist another option, as I've said throughout. It can absolutely be easier than registering in some circumstances. When both parties are amenable, there's no need for a court order. They simply arrange the DNA themselves. The Home Office even provide guidance on what to do when voluntarily supplying DNA, to the extent that they have a list of accepted suppliers for this purpose.

DNA evidence is paperwork. This is why the claim that the father needs to be on the birth certificate is not to all intents and purposes right, it's fully wrong.

It would be very very foolish to take this risk.

If it all falls apart with the relationship which sounds likely, she wouldn't be able to move back to her support network because she wouldn't be able to leave the country with the child.

She now needs to remain where she is. The father will have to come to her.

OP, you are being selfish and unreasonable and are holding this man to ransom?
Your expectations are excessive and you sound incredibly naïve.
The guy has 2 children that he supports already and you expect to be on the deeds of his house. Words escape me.
Wishing all concerned the very best

Spot on

Spot on
You are being selfish and unreasonable to the extreme

Where to even start with all this?

Firstly, he won't be on the birth certificate because the baby will be born on the other side of the world and he won't be there. The UK is the rule, not the exception, in not letting women name random men as the father on their baby's birth certificate without any proof.

Secondly, the DNA option is not easier if the father and the baby are on opposite sides of the world and not under the jurisdiction of the same court system. The baby's father could get a UK court to order a DNA test to prove paternity, but that will be a fat lot of good if the baby is in Australia and outside the reach of the UK legal system. And vice versa.

Thirdly, in the context of whether the baby can actually prove their British citizenship or not, paperwork is the only thing that matters.

You can’t deny your child the right to have a loving father in their life that is cruel!

No, it doesn't.

You don't know whether he'll be on the birth certificate, as OP hasn't said that, and also hasn't specified the country so we don't know what the processes are. Additionally, it's also possible that a father might opt not to be on the birth certificate but instead go the DNA route because he finds it easier. The fact that the latter option exists means it's not true to any intent or purpose that the father has to be on the birth certificate in order to pass on citizenship.

The key point is actually the father's level of desire to be involved, not whether he's on the birth certificate.

It applies because if he isn't on the birth certificate, which he won't be, the reality is that it is going to be exceptionally difficult for the OP's child to prove that they are a British citizen. And if they can't prove that they are one, they may as well not be one.

But he also knew that he had told her he had no plans to marry her. Lots of people have children and don't marry. He had no reason to believe she was going to use the child as a bargaining chip to force marriage.