Am I being unreasonable to give birth away from the child’s father because he doesn’t want to get married?

I disagree on both points but thank you :). It should not be unexpected for a woman to have support during pregnancy even if she can do it all herself. Avoiding stress is good for the developing baby.

She needs to financially support herself through the pregnancy, she’s a grown woman.

ETA - writing HTH at the end of your post is really juvenile.

And as far as I know it’s not the virgin birth….They both need to make it work

Exactly this. The only relevant information at this point.

I agree. I would never want to be financially dependent on a man. But I wouldn’t stay with a man who insulted me by refusing to marry in case I get my hands on his money!

And as far as I know it’s not the virgin birth. They both apparently want/wanted the baby. They both need to make it work. And a pregnant woman should be supported in her pregnancy no matter why she is pregnant or what wrongs she has done. HTH

It was his choice too. People can change their minds or wake up and realise their mistakes. She needs support and financial security to have the best outcomes for her baby. You seem to want her punished for this? Even if it hurts the baby in the long run because relationships fail and mum is often left as the primary carer. Why is that? I and many other posters have agreed OP was wrong in the first place. Can you really not move past that?

But it was her choice! In a situation where a couple have very mismatched opinions on the future and neither want to compromise, most normal people cut their losses and part ways. They don’t get pregnant and then use the unborn baby as a pawn to attempt to get what they want.

Honestly I find your double standards are great too. Have you not noticed this? You don’t expect the ex to put himself out at all.

If a man put his health, body, career etc etc at risk to birth my baby then I would hedge the risk. He would not be bearing that alone.

Shes paying towards living in a house she doesn’t own. If this was a man, living in his female partner’s house and was paying towards living there but his partner didn’t want to put him on the deeds- would you say she was selfish? Or just protecting her assets?

The double standards are crazy.

Anyway - I’ve spent far too much of my time thinking about this entirely made up scenario!

No I think you have posted on the right thread x

He’s not her landlord, he’s her partner . She’s not his tenant, she’s the mother of his baby.
If you think it’s acceptable for him to make money/ capital off her , as if they were in a landlord/ tenant relationship , then I cannot help you m’dear.
I sincerely hope you have better standards for yourself, but if you don’t, the least you could do is stop dragging other women down with you.

Sorry new to this and seem to have posted on wrong thread

Totally reasonable to stay with your family where you feel safe and supported while you give birth but you need to accept this may end the relationship with the child’s biological father. So ask yourself is he likely to be a good father and partner . Your unborn child needs a safe supported environment the presence of their biological father is not necessary.
What ever you decide I would consider not naming the father when you register the birth of your child.

Erm, she’s living in the house - why wouldn’t she pay to live there?! Insane! 😂 Do you think tenants shouldn’t pay rent because it’s helping the landlord pay the mortgage?!

Right- half wasn’t stated, but you’ve also conveniently left out that she said she was paying towards the mortgage as well as bills . I wonder why ? 🤔

So not only is this man refusing to commit and help support the new family he’s created, he’s actively making money off her.

Where are the studies that show ‘most fathers’ are shit in some way? Because that’s really quite the claim.

No, she didn’t. She said she was ‘paying towards the bills’. ‘Half’ was never stated - you’ve made that bit up.

There is study upon study showing men don't pull their weight as parents and husbands, often don't pay for their children when NRPs and make up the majority of domestic abusers.

Maybe particular men are trustworthy but as a group trusting them is quite a high risk strategy.

No she didn't.

Yes she did

You are making the sensible choice OP. X

Of course she's depriving her child of half their family. She's moved to the other side of the world from the child's father and entire paternal family and has informed him by text that he won't be having a relationship with his child. That's despicable behaviour.

What has she done to deserve being made a tenant in common (who would have the power to force a sale and take her share) of a house that he owns?

Why hasn't she saved some money towards a deposit for a house that they could buy together?

OP’s paying half his mortgage FFS!

No, she never said that.

statistically, most fathers are shit in some way

Oh really? Where is your source for this statistic please?

His terms were that he didn't want to put his existing children's home at risk, which is entirely reasonable.

what does this mean exactly? You keep referring to “half the house” but - once again - putting OP on the deeds doesn’t mean she automatically gets half. They can be tenants in common , for example, and he can protect his other children’s share if needs be. There are plenty of ways of arranging things. OP’s paying half his mortgage FFS!

If OP’s partner wanted all his resources to go to his existing children , and he didn’t want to share them with a new family, he shouldn’t have made the decision to start a new family with OP. Simple as that.

you are honestly being ridiculous.
OP isn’t depriving this child of “half its family”. She is having a baby, she needs to be in a secure position to raise this child. That’s basic common sense.
Her partner has the power to work with her to ensure that is possible in the UK- he won’t- that’s on him- so she needs to look into other options where she’s confident she can manage it alone. That’s in her home country.

It’s as simple as that.