Am I being unreasonable to give birth away from the child’s father because he doesn’t want to get married?

Presumably he was thinking that he and his partner were starting a family. Whereas she was thinking about how to use him to get pregnant and then skip the country.

And she doesn’t have a cat in hell’s chance of getting maintenance from him if she’s living abroad. There’s not a court that would be able to enforce it. and if I were him I’d be demanding a DNA test, which the OP would have to come back t the UK for, and then I would do everything in my power to prevent the child from being allowed to leave the country.

We have discussed getting married but he was reluctant in the opening post on this thread.

I don't think you read this posters comment, ironically, which references 'he said' not 'she said'.

OK. I actually think you have made a wise decision, given you can only move forward, not backwards in time.

If you had stayed in UK, he could have legally prevented you from leaving the country with your baby. Given how volatile your relationship is, I wouldn’t risk that in a million years. By giving birth where your support system is, you ensure your child is ordinarily resident in that country.

I would stay put. I would see if he bothers visiting. Is there any way to claim child maintenance from him from the country you are in?

Honestly I would just build a life there.

I don't think it's wrong to stay in your home country if the relationship has become rocky.
In an ideal world every child would be born into a loving, lifelong relationship but it's not an ideal world.
You have taken some risks through becoming pregnant. He has taken risks through fathering a child with a non uk citizen.
In your shoes, if their is the slightest chance that if you come back to the UK, he can stop you returning to ?Oz/NZ? wherever with the child I would stay put.

I don't think sticking to the position that he has always held - that he doesn't want to get married or put her on the deeds to his house - is "not stepping up" though. He doesn't appear to have said that she and the baby can't continue to live with him, or that he won't support them financially.

Look at it from his point of view. If they split up and she's entitled to half his house, where are he and his existing children going to live?

The OP was talking about buying a property of her own, yet she apparently wiped out her own savings staying in a hotel for a while and buying a plane ticket home. She seems to be saying she's unable to support herself financially in any way and so her only options are being financially supported by a man in the UK or being financially supported by her parents in her home country. Getting pregnant should have been the furthest thing from her mind TBH. And now she is going to have a baby who won't get to have much of a relationship - or perhaps any relationship - with their father, siblings and extended maternal family.

I am divorced with kids and have a nice house. There is no way I would be marrying a man or putting him on the deeds of my house just because we had a kid together. I am not an idiot. So why the OP thought this man would do this just because she's pregnant is madness. She's now got less power now she's pregnant not more.

He laid his cards on the table and said he wasn't going to marry her. She got pregnant anyway.

It's a regrettable situation and I doubt the OP will hear much from him.

If it's not too late in the OPs shoes I would consider terminating and getting on with my life, hopefully meeting a man who wants a family with me and wants to marry me. If she has his child both of those things become less likely.

It makes sense for you to stay in your home country to give birth if that is where your support system is. You could end up very isolated if you return to the UK and your partner doesn't step up and he could then make it difficult for you to return to your home country.

Yanbu. Look after yourself and your baby by staying where you are.

Tbh it doesn't really sound like you have another option.

Where in the post did op now say she has an issue with not getting married? She said the relationship was great but now it's rocky. Please read posts and understand what someone is saying before you come on here with pointless negative comments.

I think you should stay where you are OP. You’ve got support there. Back in the UK you’ve got no job, no home, and in all probability no boyfriend, because the relationship clearly wasn’t strong enough for a long term commitment. It would be madness to put yourself in such a lonely and vulnerable position.

You sound very manipulative. I can see why he did not want to get married.

Stay with family. You have made some silly decisions which are irrelevant now. Going back to him sounds like an unreasonable risk.

Am I not allowed to comment? Or I’m commenting too much for your liking? I disagree with you so I must be quiet? I’m not the only poster defending her. And I’m fighting against all the blame always being laid at women’s feet. I’m arguing against posters who say she got pregnant as though it was an immaculate conception. They decided to have a baby. He’s not stepping up. He is choosing this. I cannot understand how nasty some posters are being to her. Yes she’s been foolish but what about his short comings? And for the record I’m not in and never have been in a similar position to the OP. And I also won’t be told to not comment by posters like you

I dont understand the hate you're getting, OP. If youre child is born in the UK there is very little chance a court will allow them to move back to your home country with you.
Your choice is stay in the UK for the next 18+ years (With or without being in a relationship with baby's dad) .
Set up home in your own country now, where you have a support system.
You have to do what is right for you and baby which for now sounds like staying with your family.

Absolute rubbish.

Men cannot be trapped into marriage. They are responsible for their own actions. They know sex risks pregnancy. He chose to have sex with someone from another country.

He is in this position because of his own choices.

I agree. She is irresponsible. The MN assumption is the man is in the wrong and LTB, but it doesn't sound to me that is warranted here.

I feel sorry for him and the baby.

I would stay with your family , and let them be your support system .
To be honest he sounds flaky , and whilst he wants to be around for his kids by this other women , which of course is good .

It sounds like you having his child , came with restrictions, not wanting marraige , protecting his other children etc , he seems more invested in his previous life , rather than making a new one with you.

What do you mean by things got rocky OP? What happened for you to suddenly leave?
Was it just the marriage situation or was there something else going on?

No, she should be able to expect financial support for her child and herself while the child is still a baby, but having a child doesn’t entitle anyone to financial security for life, especially at the expense of someone’s children.

This is probably the right decision for you OP but I don't think anyone has behaved well here.

I'm a bit confused though, you talk about how you wanted to buy a flat and rent it out for income, what were you going to buy it with? You only worked part time and wiped out your savings with a flight so you can't have had that much.

The difficulty will be proving it.

I can see why he didn't want to risk marrying you. There's some real gold digger vibes coming through here.

How exactly do you see this working?

A foreign court making an order that a random man in the UK that she has decided to name as her child's father actually is the child's father and needs to pay maintenance, and a UK court enforcing that order when there's no proof that he is actually the child's father?

Children of British citizens born abroad are entitled to British citizenship (assuming the father is a citizen).