Am I being unreasonable to give birth away from the child’s father because he doesn’t want to get married?

She says herself that what she has done is not in her child's best interests.

It's completely pointless playing the blame game. Shoulda, woulda, coulda, it's all in the past.

The only question the OP should be thinking about is this - can she give the child a better life in the country she's in or in the UK? That's it, really.

I think it's safe to say that neither OP or her partner have made the best decisions. And now a real life human child is going to have deal with the consequences of that for the rest of their lives. It's just crap.

No she decided to have a child in a relationship that was working knowing he didn’t want to marry but then the relationship deteriorated. She doesn’t say how intentional the pregnancy was on his part but assuming she wasn’t deceiving him about contraception he was willing to have a child with her. If he has since changed his mind then that’s his problem but the responsibility for creating it is still partly his and he needs to have some balls and take responsibility for his actions. If he isn’t willing then personally I think the unborn child is better off not having contact with him

I think poster just wants to see OP punished no matter the impacts on the child. Still notice how not one bit of blame or accountability has been accepted on behalf of the ex. It is sad. And I hate to see women picking bad men/bad situations that do not serve them but I still can think past that.

Yes, because she went ahead and got pregnant, knowing who he was. What an idiot!

There is literally one person to blame when a woman purposely gets pregnant with a shit man

Are you for real? You think there’s “one person to blame” when a “shit man” conceives a child . And that one person is….- the woman?!

Says it all really. 😂

You are right of course never mind then having to navigate child illness and days off (when baby is born) with no support system. And would she even be eligible for paid maternity leave. Hideous.

There is literally one person to blame when a woman purposely gets pregnant with a shit man! He’s not pulled the wool over her eyes - he was honest about what he wanted from the relationship. She went ahead anyway. Where’s the accountability?!

Also just because she works full time doesn’t mean she can afford to house and support herself in the UK as a single mother. We don’t even know in what part of the country her partner lives or what immigration status she has !

Exactly this! No wonder the birth rate is so low.

Which is why I said if you’re unable to support yourself financially, you’re best off going home. But what a shame she thought she’d be the ‘exception to the rule’ when her partner had made his feelings clear.

I think it’s much more of a shame that you seek to blame a woman for the lack of commitment of a man towards the family he willingly created.

But sadly that’s the kind of society we live in.

A shame indeed.

I don’t think she trapped him. He knew what he was doing by having unprotected sex.

Say she can increase her hours (and what if she can’t? No available roles just now in her present company, maternity discrimination etc etc ) what about housing? What if she is ill during maternity leave? She said her ex is not supportive during her pregnancy - these is even more to consider than finance.

By working full time, rather than part time?! Like most people have to in order to put a roof over their head.

I actually agree @Tandora that if you’re an immigrant who is not fleeing danger, and you are unable to support yourself financially and provide a stable home to live in, you probably should go home. It’s just a shame she’s put this innocent child in this situation because she thought she’d be ‘the exception to the rule’ regarding her partners feelings towards commitment.

I think you feel safer and more secure with your parents and you really don’t trust the father of your unborn child . If this is the case then staying put is the right choice for you but as previously stated this will likely end the relationship. Assuming you didn’t secretly put holes in the condoms or lie about being on contraception he has equal moral responsibility in supporting his child . If you give birth abroad and don’t name him on the birth certificate I think he would struggle to legally get access. Your child needs a safe secure environment around them this doesn’t need to include the biological father .
It seems more likely it’s won’t not can’t visit which probably tells you where his priorities are

She literally says she can’t- not sure why you think she can 🤷🏼‍♀️

I dont think the relationship is going to work, and I won’t be able to afford to live. So it will come down to being homeless or leaving the child with their father and leaving the country.

It really, doesn’t help actually but thanks!

I don’t think she should have to do so alone. No.

HTH

True. Not to mention even if OP had a nice job there is a risk of maternity discrimination of being ill during the pregnancy and having to leave her job early. She may not have enough maternity ist to support herself. No way should all the burden be on her.

Now to add no way to I support getting pregnant in bad circumstances but if you are pregnant baby and mothers health is so important and they are both better off with support.

You don’t think a woman should support herself financially, just because she’s pregnant?!

Jesus 🤦🏻‍♀️😂

She did have a job - a part time one, rather than a full time one, for some reason. She chose to give it up. She could have supported herself if she wanted to.

She needs to financially support herself through the pregnancy, she’s a grown woman

Yup and she can’t do that alone in the uk where she has no citizenship and no secure housing. It only works if her partner works with her. He won’t 🤷🏼‍♀️. Hence she needs to remain in the place where she can manage and not sacrifice her security and her child’s security for the sake of a man who is not committed and won’t share his finances.