To think nurseries seem depressing? Please help me narrow down

There are of course some excellent nurseries.

However. I chose a childminder my kids had incredible loving care from an adult they grew to love . My childminder was like a family member by the end of our time .

It was a bust family type setting they were constantly with other children and made friends for life.

Where I work only the babies have a dedicated sleeping area. Once they are toddling and have dropped a morning nap they move to a room with a set nap time and sleep within the room in thick mats. These mats are set up while the children eat lunch in another part of the room. They have their own sleep bags and teddies/ soothers or whatever they need. At age 2 they move again and it's a similar arrangement but they all use uniform blankets. I don't think a dedicated sleeping area to a child over 1 is the norm anywhere. It would double the rent of a unit and make it uneconomical.

Edited to add the children sleep whatever way they are comfortable. They are helped to lie down on their back then they move into their comfortable position and are left there. You can't dictate a child's sleeping position once they can move.

I’d go for nursery number 1. Toddlers sleep on their tummy. You’re massively over thinking!

Our nursery was lovely, the babies slept in prams outside.

On the sleeping on the front side:

Dd2 flipped onto her front the second you put her down from about 3 months old. She is missing her hand, so easier to do so. I persisted putting her onto her back until she was about 6 months, but gave up at that point because she would always flip over within seconds and sometimes that woke her up enough that she didn't go back to sleep.
Dd1 always stayed on her back, and ds used to squirm until he was on his side

Interestingly they're adults now and dd1 sleeps on her back, dd2 on her front and ds on his side.

Nurseries are depressing if you're looking for a space for a baby.

Why are you so concerned about your child spending time with other children to the extent you're willing to send them somewhere you know isn't very good? Are you a recluse? If not, I guarantee your child is getting sufficient socialisation from you and the people you interact with on a daily basis. Do please read up about child development and their need (or more precisely their lack of need) for other children the same age.

There isn't a right answer with the nursery Vs CM debate.

It totally depends on the provision in your area.

We're past that stage now but between them, my DC went to a total of 2 nurseries and 4 CMs.

1 of the nurseries and 2 of the CMs were absolutely outstanding.

The other nursery was a bit shit and the other 2 CMs were fine.

If you're not keen on the nurseries, go visit some local CMs and see what they're like. You have nothing to lose, and you might find someone really special.

@Butterfly1947 sorry but what's issue with a childminder using her adult son for the admin side?
What difference does that make?

1 sounds fine, 3 sounds better. Are there any other nurseries you can visit? I visited a few that were depressing and was resigned to one, but then found another that was very outdoorsy, free flow to the garden, Forest School, with lovely, mainly older staff. I cried a little as I walked in the door as it felt so warm and welcoming and I knew I'd found the right place.

Children sleeping on their fronts is fine once they can roll. A nap room is fine or curricles or mats in the main room is fine too - they'll have quiet time after lunch when most will asleep somewhere.

I didn't fancy a childminder because I saw them at toddler groups on mat leave and didn't think they were paying enough attention to the children. I also preferred lots of pairs of eyes vs one person in their house unobserved. We use a childminder now for school pick ups and she's great, but I don't think I'd have wanted my son there as a toddler - it's a very small room and they go out in the car a lot rather than grubbing around in the mud. My son is 6 now and remembers nursery and his key workers very fondly.

I understand your anxiety for finding the best nursery - I’m the same.
However, I will never put my child at a childminder - I had couple of flyers through my door where a child minder was advertising herself and her son in 30s being the admin. Oh gosh - never ! I won’t be able to rest for a day.

at nursery they cctv, you have whistle blowing policy, managers, deputy - in my opinion nurseries are safer but try to find the best one for your little one

Keep looking. Go with what seems safest and cleanest with the most staff and not too many very young ones. That’s the priority. I was never comfortable with a childminder. With my first I think I viewed about ten nurseries. Saw all manner of questionable and downright dangerous things. The one she went to was cosy had lovely sunny rooms, staff who weren’t quite so young and an onsite cook. She was very happy there.

Choose a setting that meets your child's needs whether that's a nursery or childminder. Mine loved open space and being active so I chose one with large rooms and a good outdoor area. It's very individual (though don't choose no 2 of course...)

You can educate/involve your child in cultural events in the community or at home. It seems a strange thing to base your choice on

I’d go on the waiting list for 3 if you have time to wait, if not then 1.

I live in an area that seems to have nurseries everywhere and I viewed 20+. The one I initially chose seemed great and had an outstanding ofstead report but was awful by the time child actually started and I removed him immediately and it was closed down shortly afterwards. The main things I’d look out for is cleanliness, safety measures (gates, pick up procedure etc). And most importantly how the staff interact with you/your child/ vibe you get.

definitely a child minder until at least 18 months.

Id go with nursery number 1. It’s likely the child rolled themselves onto their front especially if they are over 1. My DC has been rolling onto their front/ sleeping on their front since about 9 months. It’s fine to sleep like that if they roll themselves.

I have a nanny share and a childminder - nurseries depressed me too. No child should have institutional care imo, should be in a home setting!

Ah. Yes. Depressing nurseries.
We had this 12 years ago.
In the end we found a childminder. I just could not get my head around my child being in a nursery.

He started nursery at 2yo. As did our 2nd child.

Worked for us anyway.

Are their childminders where you are?
Or how about nanny shares with a space?

I preferred a nursery over a childminder and figured of they are good enough for other people's children why would my child be any different

I agree, although I find it a bit of a nonsense for childminders to do it TBH.
Top tip, never tell the inspector you don't acknowledge any religious stuff. You won't get outstanding!!

Older babies/young toddlers will put themselves down to sleep however they’re comfortable and that may mean their tummy. It’s a complete non issue. Nap time on floor mats in the classroom is also completely normal when it’s a room for young toddlers over 12 months because at that age they will be on a group schedule and all nap together after lunch. Interacting with other children should not be your priority either, unless your child is 2.5 or older, because younger children just don’t really do this. When you send an under 2 to nursery it’s purely childcare, not a social development opportunity. But of course you want to make sure it’s the best possible childcare you can find and that DC will be happy there!

From what you’ve said above I’d probably waitlist for option 3 but if it doesn’t come through I’d also be perfectly happy with option 1.

I can understand why OFSTED need to see this. I just don't understand why it would be a personal priority as a parent

The first one sounds great. I’m not sure most nurseries have a dedicated sleeping area except for babies. Ours just whipped the mats out on the floor for naps. In the summer, they’d do the same in the garden underneath the big shady oak tree. So much better than just shoving them in a room. The only nursery we saw with a separate sleeping room was draconian. Windowless dark room and they were put in there at dedicated nap times and checked every 20 minutes. No thanks! Very happy for mine to sleep on a mat with a staff member in the room falling asleep to a story.

Most children sleep on their fronts. From 1, certainly totally fine. Mine were at home from probably 8 months. It all sounds great and I too would want that level of inclusivity.

I agree here. I actually didn’t send my children to a nursery until they were well over 2 and even then it was very minimal, I carried on childminders. I never found a nursery that I felt could look after my babies needs, some felt like it was children looking after children. Childminders have much better homely feel in my opinion and are more bespoke to your child’s needs than a nursery. I don’t think children under 2 need to worry about socialising with other kids as they don’t learn these skills until over 2 anyways as they are independent learners initially.

When looking at nurseries try to chat to the staff and see how long they've worked there. Try to figure out if there is a high staff turnover

Agree. Kids don't need nursery to socialise. If you need to work or need a break then totally understandable.

I'd be going for a childminder. I'd look for one that comes recommended if possible.

You feel uncomfortable for a reason.

Children really don't need to socialise in a group with lots of children until they are older. Maybe look at a childminder. I work in a preschool and you can often tell the kids who have been to nursery from a really young age. They are much better at fighting for what they want and to be heard and to get attention from the adults and not necessarily in a good way......