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AIBU?

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Was I an interfering know it all?

62 replies

adarkspringday · 27/02/2025 16:13

At a farm today I was behind a family with young children and I heard one of them say they were going to see the sheep.

I said ‘you’ve gone past them, they are back there’ and gave specific directions.

The mum said ‘well they used to be but there is a sign up saying they’ve moved.’ Turned out they had moved. I said sorry and that was that. Then heard the mum in the gift shop saying something like ‘well, found the sheep despite that interfering know it all trying to send us the opposite way!’

Was I an interfering know it all?

Yabu yes
yanbu no you were being helpful.

OP posts:
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Changingplace · 27/02/2025 22:15

Happyinarcon · 27/02/2025 16:32

I find it hard to believe this happened

Lucky you to have never encountered such rude people.

Disturbia81 · 27/02/2025 20:44

@crankytoes Exactly, if it was up to that woman and some posters then community spirit would be dead. If someone does this to me I smile and say thanks, everyone happy.

mrlistersgelfbride · 27/02/2025 18:59

YANBU. You were trying to be helpful. She was unkind.

Katemax82 · 27/02/2025 18:29

How bloody rude! I hope no-one tries to help her in future

crankytoes · 27/02/2025 18:26

Completelyjo · 27/02/2025 16:35

I don’t think she has to be grateful, you might have tried to be helpful but you did actually give the wrong advice.

She was an arse to decide about someone with good intentions.
And she said that to her dc. Teaching her dc to also be rude and completely void of any community spirit

crankytoes · 27/02/2025 18:24

Changingplace · 27/02/2025 16:22

You were trying to help, she was rude and her comments were unnecessary.

I had a similar situation recently, heard some people getting on the tram near me sounding confused & talking about getting two tickets at the machine because they were going to X place via a main station, I just turned to them and said, ‘oh you don’t need two tickets, just buy it to your destination or you can tap in and out’

Instead of saying thanks or even acknowledging I was trying to help one of them muttered something about me being a ‘Karen’ and carried on buying the wrong ticket 🙄

Fuck me that's weird of them

neilyoungismyhero · 27/02/2025 18:17

To be fair you weren't being helpful as you would have sent them the wrong way.🙄

SchoolDilemma17 · 27/02/2025 18:07

Dotjones · 27/02/2025 16:16

You should probably have stayed out of it to be honest. Giving unprovoked advice, especially unprovoked advice that is wrong, leaves you open to being seen as an "interfering know-it-all" or other less polite terms.

If you were a man (or are a man!) this would be classic mansplaining.

Agree with this. Can’t stand it when a random stranger overhears me talking to the kids and has to give advice. Just mind your own business, I didn’t ask you!

Sugargliderwombat · 27/02/2025 18:05

What a miserable toad. Ignore her.

NovemberMorn · 27/02/2025 18:05

Some people are always on the look out to take offence or be unpleasant.
Seems like OP encountered one such woman today.🙄

SardinesOnGingerbread · 27/02/2025 18:04

mintbug · 27/02/2025 16:16

You were trying to help. It's not you were flexing your knowledge of sheep placement.

Loved this.

Disturbia81 · 27/02/2025 17:56

ethelredonagoodday · 27/02/2025 16:24

You were trying to be helpful. The other woman sounds like a nob.

It's as simple as this

Picklepower · 27/02/2025 17:55

HawkersNorth · 27/02/2025 16:42

I'm sorry bit I'm going against the grain here. They weren't talking to you, they weren't lost and looking for help so I'm not sure why you felt the need to step in. To me that is interfereing.

I agree. It's a child's farm, I'm sure they would've managed to find the sheep without help. They did not need help. If I was the woman I wouldn't be rude about it but I would like your interjection was unnecessary

Hoppinggreen · 27/02/2025 17:52

HawkersNorth · 27/02/2025 16:42

I'm sorry bit I'm going against the grain here. They weren't talking to you, they weren't lost and looking for help so I'm not sure why you felt the need to step in. To me that is interfereing.

Even if Op WAS interferring (which I don't believe) there was no need for the woman to be such a cow about it

MrsPeterHarris · 27/02/2025 17:51

Dotjones · 27/02/2025 16:16

You should probably have stayed out of it to be honest. Giving unprovoked advice, especially unprovoked advice that is wrong, leaves you open to being seen as an "interfering know-it-all" or other less polite terms.

If you were a man (or are a man!) this would be classic mansplaining.

This!

HawkersNorth · 27/02/2025 17:49

ginasevern · 27/02/2025 17:40

Would you feel the same if they were headed for a perilous cliff edge?

They weren't. Let's not make up hypotheticals.

NovemberMorn · 27/02/2025 17:46

Stupid woman, her not you.

Maitri108 · 27/02/2025 17:45

Similar happened to me. I was on a bus and two people behind me were trying to figure out how to get somewhere.

I said, if you want to get to that place you can get a bus from -

One of them said, Well really! Actually I used to live here and we know our way around perfectly well.

Then they started muttering and gave me side eye when I got off the bus.

MissDoubleU · 27/02/2025 17:42

ginasevern · 27/02/2025 17:40

Would you feel the same if they were headed for a perilous cliff edge?

They weren’t though, were they? They were headed in the correct direction and OP was in fact the one directing them off the metaphorical cliff edge.

ginasevern · 27/02/2025 17:40

HawkersNorth · 27/02/2025 16:42

I'm sorry bit I'm going against the grain here. They weren't talking to you, they weren't lost and looking for help so I'm not sure why you felt the need to step in. To me that is interfereing.

Would you feel the same if they were headed for a perilous cliff edge?

Liliol · 27/02/2025 17:33

She's said 'know it all' because she knew better than you did and you still took it upon yourself to correct her.

Its only helpful if you're right!

Everydayimhuffling · 27/02/2025 17:32

I find the idea from some PPs that people are "eves dropping" on conversations you are having at normal volume in public really weird. You do know that people can hear you, right?

OP, you were trying to help in a totally normal and reasonable way. The woman was rude.

Now, apparently, I must go think rude thoughts about the woman who commented that she needed to practice her pancake making, when she overheard me planning Pancake Day with my DC. Horrifying, clearly 🙄

NiftyKoala · 27/02/2025 17:30

ExIssues · 27/02/2025 17:04

She wasn't rude. She didn't know OP was listening to her conversation (again). Saying it to OPs face would be rude

I agree with this. While op was trying to be helpful these people were not asking for help. It wouldchave annoyed me too. I'd have rolled my eyes and ignored it . The other person wasn't rude she had no way to know op was listening to her conversation.

TheNameIsDickDarlington · 27/02/2025 17:27

Yeah I think you were interfering.

Both of these conversations were between other people and didn't involve you. You piped up with the wrong directions assuming you knew better then later was offended by another conversation that you weren't involved in.

You were trying to help but you weren't asked and you actually didn't know, so probably would have been better off keeping it to yourself.

Chunkilumptious · 27/02/2025 17:23

I think all of the above is true but it doesn't amount to make calling territory so she was in the wrong.

Generally best not to comment on other people's conversations and leave them to it unless there's a danger or maybe they're looking visibly confused.

But you tried to help and it's not like it was a sensitive topic, or you would have tried to mislead them away from the goats for any reason. Her comment was odd.