What does it take to be completely untouchable at work?

I think people who are untouchable at work fall into four categories:

1 - Bullies - they are feared or have some kind of hold over senior management. They are smooth talking bullies who will take anyone down who challenges them. So people just let them get on with it through fear of being next .

2 - Nepotism - They m are related to someone high up in the company or HR . In my experience the toad was related to the woman in HR . They shared the same uncommon surname and both denied any connection but I'm convinced by watching their body language they were related . He got away with stuff that most people would have been sacked on the spot for . She smoothed everything trivialised and swept everything under the carpet for him . He always got his story in first thus giving her time to prepare his defence .

3 - Like-ability - Sone people are so charming , comical and pleasant to be around that they actually are morale boosters . They get away with doing the bare minimum and are good at looking busy but spend a lot of their time socialising and therefore build up support and loyalty . They get away with being late , bring ill , or going over their allotted breaks . Stealing company time - a sackable offence .

4 - Indispensability- Usually have a skill set that Is indispensable and would be an absolute pain to find done one else to take their place or take on duties such as out of hour key holders or work antisocial hours .

The rest of us are ten a penny .

Watch "Office Space".

Is he Boris Johnson? Or Trump?

There's a few if these in my workplace

1-squeals 'mental health' if she's asked to do anything
Will work for a week or two,go off sick (at the same time as her husband) enjoy a month or two until the sick notes run out,comes back,squeals about her mental health then rinses and repeats
The managers where shit scared of her as she had the union in her back pocket and hr on speed dial-she knew her rights,but wouldn't take her responsibilities
She's off on maternity and won't be back-she's had a shock as babies are far harder on mental health than a job

2-the biggest bully I've ever met
She tries to bully,bluff and abuse her way through the shift while doing nothing (normally found chatting or hiding in the toilets on her phone)
She's picked the wrong workforce to bully as we are all standing up to her-Cue a load of 'I'm being bullied!'
The old manager would bend over and take it up the arse for her but the new one won't and has stood up to her-Cue even more 'I'm being bullied!'
Turns out that daddy not only got her the job in the first place,but was in bed with the old manager (and both are bigger bullies than she ever could be)

3-she got the job (along with her sister) because her aunt was high up in the company and knew where the bodies where
Lazy,bossy,spiteful,full of bullshit and thick-and I'm being nice
Auntie went on sick leave and for personal reasons,had to leave
She's been exposed now as top boss auntie isn't around to cover her arse anymore

4-lasted two weeks
Her mum was mates with another top boss,so got her the job
She hid in the toilets all shift,vaping away and did nothing the whole time
This boss left 10 days into this girls career,so for the last 4 shifts,we had to haul her onto the shop floor (my colleague takes no crap)
She was asked to take a tray to a table,she refused,threw a tantrum and walked out

5-young lad who seems to think he's at the top of the tree
Bosses everyone around,is soooo rude,refused to do any work and whitters on about god all the time
He's not religious but by claiming he is,he's protected

Thankfully,we have a new manager who is kick-arse and takes no shit
She's doing her best to weed out the losers but it takes a long time

I agree with this too and that includes senior managers!

Nepotism. Saw it in my last workplace.

And then they get me as their manager and I naturally want decent performance, they are incensed as to them they are doing nothing different , they get put on a pip, go off sick then come back and raise a grievance against me, that stops the pip and suddenly it’s me getting invited to meetings and investigated. And everyone is very surprised when I’m a bit worried and upset as I’ve nothing to worry about. Grrr

I sat next to someone like this, luckily in a different department. She did no work at all that I could see. Spent her entire day going for cigarette breaks (and returning reeking of a combination of that and some hefty sprays of perfume), and having loud phone conversations where she would cackle and laugh like a hyena. Weirdly she was quite senior, actually the only bit of work I ever saw her do was performance reviews for her team of managers - done loudly over the phone of course, so we could all hear what should have been private.

If you weren't useful to her she wasn't interested. Sat next to her for months and she literally looked right through me. Which suited me fine.

I was hoping someone would mention these connections, so I didn’t have to. Thank you, and to @Cyclebabble too.

It was quite a significant theme in the Endeavour TV series, reflecting real life I believe.

He knows where the bodies are buried.

I used to work in a public sector org with someone like this. She literally sat at her desk until lunchtime reading the newspaper then she go home for the day. She was supposedly team support but didn’t seem to do anything but read the paper. When I asked I as told she’d originally had a more senior job but her project was cancelled and she was given notice of redundancy. She appealed, made various grievance complaints against managers and then the manager’s manager right up the chain complaining unfairness for various reasons to do with her gender, race and health. This went on for years with her being shunted from team to team. By the time I knew her, she was working a phased return to full time hours and our manager preferred the easy life option of letting things continue rather than doing anything that would trigger yet another complaint. I left before she did,she might still be there for all I know.

Where I've come across this it's been because the guy in question was very close with a valuable customer - think millions of pounds of billing - and it was absolutely worth it to keep him on just to hang onto the client

That and genuinely being a kiss ass arsehole

The answer is when no one has performance managed your poor performance. Helps if you're fulfilling a role no one else wants to do and people can ignore you and get on with their jobs.

Only read the first page of posts but maybe in a protected category to discriminate against and has used this previously when challenged. A colleague was bullied and went for constructive dismissal and as she was registered disabled got a big pay out.
She did deserve the result IMO.

In my sector (tech) it usually means that they created/designed/have IPR over something bespoke that can’t be replaced as yet and therefore are classed as a key person with privilege. Their sole job is being available just in case something happens! Happens less and less now as technology advances but still common to see

We have a guy like this but worse, tries to book leave, if it gets denied he just doesn't show up, is always off sick, never hits a trigger, is absolutely bone idle. When he left us dangerously understaffed, myself and my colleagues put in a complaint. We were told because he is in a "protected category" there was nothing they could do that wouldn't seem like discrimination so he's just left to do as he pleases while the rest of us have to tow line.

I'm ashamed to say, that I used to be that person for a couple of years.

I was younger, and earning good money in a job I hated. The company was doing well, so they were paying above the odds, so finding a new job wasn't on the cards for me at the time. So I started coasting, and then when noone pulled me up on it, I coasted a bit more, and a bit more, until I was only doing about an hour's work a day.

And people started noticing after a while, but I'd been there years, and I'm fairly easy going so most of them counted me as a friend. And by the point my manager noticed, I'd been doing it too long, and if he'd had made a big deal about it the his manager would find out and ask why I'd been getting away with it for so long.

I eventually left because my Mum died and I inherited a couple of hundred grand. I took a year off, retrained and found a new job, and have worked bloody hard in jobs I enjoy ever since.

So the answer to how to be untouchable? In my experience, do nothing and be friendly.

@TorroFerney you hit the nail right in the head!

Usually 1 or 3 reasons.

1. They are related/ shagging/ very close personal friend of someone very senior in the company.

1. Have a very valuable key customer/ linked to a very important customer who spends and awful lot or has very large shares in the company and would move with the employee if they left.

1. Litigious. Willing to play the discrimination card hard. Constantly has the union in over everything. Very much has "ducks in a row, solicitor on phone, I'll take you to court over it" attitude to any form of feedback at work. Therefore HR and any management tread very carefully around them and some management are much happier to turn a blind eye than deal with a court case.

I've worked with a number 3, it was exhausting and awful for all. They seemed to spend their entire day slacking off, doing bare minimum, looking for ways to take offense at things. Any sort of perceived slight or suggestion they did any work would result in flouncing to management and complaining of discrimination, union called in over said "discrimination", I have a discrimination case unless I get an apology. Management were pretty much terrified of them. It took a huge change in very senior management and a very long drawn out process (years) with HR in order to fire them. Said person ended up with a very nice payout that to this day they boast about getting from the company for discrimination.

I've seen this situation in a previous workplace years ago, where a guy just went from department to department like a moving car crash, and no-one senior did anything about him, or even challenged his behaviour.
Apparently it turned out that this guy was the son-in-law of the chief executive, consequently he was untouchable.

Same at my work - a combination of a dysfunctional organisation and the person being hugely litigious. It makes my life very difficult as our team has to deal with him and escalating to his line manager and HR makes no difference.

Sometimes it's because whilst most people see the things they aren't doing, management know that there are things they are doing that are absolutely critical for the further functioning of the business and they have little appetite for trying to recruit multiple replacements, none of whom would be able to provide the same breadth of knowledge and experience, would cost significantly more, require complete redesigns of critical systems - and then there could be the consequences of a poor application of employment law to deal with.

At my work it's because your mum's a senior manager.🤷‍♂️