To not tell friend about weight loss jab

It is the same and totally your choice

im 7m into Mounjaro and have lost 4st. I hadn’t told anyone until my hygienist asked how and she and I are similar in age etc and it felt right to tell her

a colleague contacted me privately and asked for tips on food etc because I’d lost so much etc etc and I ended up telling her

last week my boss - v large, really battling to lose because of health issues etc asked me outright- you on the jabs? I am and it’s not working for me as well as it’s working for you… what’s the secret… (I told him to go up a dose and track food…)

so now all my colleagues know. We had dinner later that night and a couple of them are (coincidentally) trained nutritionists so spoke to me, possibly from concern about medication etc, but I explained how it worked, what it did and what I still have to do to make it work (ie I’m not cheating!) 🤣

so I’m out and proud with work. At the end of the day, love the team and they love me, I have not been as open with everyone, but as the weigh loss increases, everyone notices and I’m guessing now, everyone assumes anyway

but you do whatever is right for you, when it’s right (or not) this is 100% your business

good luck love!

How will you respond if someone asks you outright? Genuinely wondering!

I’m not lying to anyone - I just don’t think it’s anyone’s business.

I would agree.

A lot of people have an opinion when someone loses weight.

Some are just really pleased for you for achieving your goal; some liked to think of you as their 'fat friend' and begrudge you entering their 'slim friend' arena; some are jealous and see your success as a slight on themselves; and some will just find a way to criticise your method.

Presumably, you are eating better and less on the jab? If so, if anyone asks and you feel obliged to answer, just say that.

@Arrivals4lucky

Oh my goodness, I've never felt so well. I'm mid 50s and it's been a life changer for me. I have about a stone to go. I'm not fixated on calories, or weight loss at all, actually - it just feels normal. I'm just enjoying living life.

And yes, like you, I'm now able to exercise, my knee problem has all but disappeared, my blood sugar is no longer pre-diabetic - so many benefits.

Thanks for the post, OP xx.

I've lost 3.5 stone since October on Mounjaro.

I'm delighted 🤩

I'm quite open about it to people if they ask/comment on my weight loss.
I've been gaining and losing weight since I was about 5 so my weight has never been stable anyway.

Some are interested in how it works - some just say 'wow, great' (who knows what they say out of earshot!)

Like another PP said, if I see someone who's lost a lot of weight recently, I assume they're using injections anyhow.

I think the furore will die down over the next couple of years as the medication evolves and becomes mainstream. It's new, many people don't like or are mistrustful of change. It will pass and something else will be the topic of conversation.

I would own it if I were you. If she seems to have a strong opinion of people who take weight loss drugs as cheaters then she will probably suspect anyway, and hold it against you. As you said she probably has her own food issues and struggles so is jealous. She will be too interested in your weight loss for you to lie, and she might ask too many questions which will involve more lying to answer. Tell her how you've done it and be proud. Don't let her bring you down.

OP your friend sounds sooooo irritating and I don't blame you for not wanting to share your private medical info with her.

I think you do whatever feels right to you. It is absolutely nobody's business but yours.

Having said that, I wonder if talking about weight loss medication is a bit like the early days of online dating or IVF - both were hidden/secret/stigmatized things that are now openly discussed and are seen as normative parts of life. I hope the same happens for weight and medication. But until then she can mind her own business!

It's not lying, it's not telling people medical information they have no need or right to know. I wouldn't go round telling people I was on anti-depressants either!

Proper grown ups do what's best for them, particularly medically, and generally stop copying their mates sometime before leaving high school.

Ir's basically totally different. What a stupid comment.

I haven't told very many people at all. DH. A couple of friends (but literally a couple).

It's no one's business but my own.

(FWIW, I also do not going around discussing my weight loss. I think it's just so rude when people ask me about it blatantly. Just because something is visible doesn't mean that it is up for discussion!)

WLI still require a lot of work and I have been very active about lifestyle changes.

To be perfectly honest it may be referencing to her to have a conversation with someone (and no offense met to the OP) where someone does not speak of weight loss jabs, sure nothing to be ashamed of but seems like that is all anyone ever speaks of these days

I have found that people who know your secrets and want you to disclose them, do so because they’ve been blabbing and want to cover it up.

Its basically the same as a 25 year old buying their first house in an expensive area and claiming that they managed to achieve this purely by hard work and avoiding avocado toast , while forgetting to mention parents gave them £200k for free.

These sort of lies just completely distort people's perceptions of what is/isnt easy to achieve.

You choose what you tell other people. If it’s someone you know is judgy on this, I wouldn’t. I did WLI previously (and regained all the weight 😭) and am starting again. Last time I told my DH and sisters at the time, and I told one friend after I had gained the weight back as she was considering doing it herself and I know she is not judgemental so I shared my experience with her.

This time I haven’t told anyone, not even my DH. It’s only been a week, I will tell people if and when I want to.

People are much more affected by the things they see around them in daily life, than they are by articles in medical journals or advice from doctors. Seeing people in your social circle achieve something is often a huge source of motivation (whether thats losing a weight, starting a business, whatever). So if all your friends lose weight and (falsely) tell you that they done it purely through Diet Plan X then that is likely to have a big effect on you. Thats more or less just how humans work.

This is your own business and you don't need to explain it to anyone.

If they want that info they can go to their doctor. They may have health issues where certain meds may not agree with them. It's not up to others to advise.

(to be clear, I dont think you have any obligation to tell people you are depressed in the first place. But if someone knows that you are depressed and then sees you get better, then I think lying about how you achieved this is bad)

Lying about this is socially bad for the exact same reason -- it creates a false impression of how depression is treated, which can affect the decision of other people due to their distorted reality.

If you are depressed and considering going on anti-depressants, and then suddenly all the depressed people you know magically get better overnight and claim to have done it drug-free just by thinking about sunshine and rainbows and starting an exercise regime, then you are going to start second-guessing yourself aoout whether anti-depressants are a good idea.

Lots of fat people want to lose weight, which is why there is such a big market for diet plans, etc. It would be better if fat people had a correct idea about what sort of things generally worked, rather than being given a false impression by everyone lying to them.

Don't tell her, keep an air of mystery. Let her believe that you are motivated and dedicated to your goal (which you are) without her judging you unfairly.