To not tell friend about weight loss jab

I’m out and proud because I don’t give a shit who knows or who judges, I’m not doing it for them. I can 100% see why people wouldn’t talk about it though because some people are really really cunty about other people losing weight. It’s really very strange.

You’re right! Abd I love the ‘effing’ straightforward way you’ve put it! People that judge can F off and carry on reading their conspiracy theory stuff, the rest of us that want to pay a fortune can choose what ever the f we want to spend it on. No one judges others for fake nails, massages etc. and recently some types of fake nails have been proven to be harmful so where’s the difference!!!

Exactly. My family would do exactly the same. Keep it to yourself, nobody else needs to know

I absolutely agree. There is a feigned moral superior here that screams judgement.

people decide what information to share and what to keep private all the time. There is an anger about weight loss medication because people like to judge overweight people. Knowing that obese people now have a tool they can use to address the challenges they have faced their whole life is really triggering for some people.

so people start with the shaming nonsense. How dare people be healthier, look better and feel more confident! We must bring them down.

So there's no area of your life that you wouldn't share if asked? No area you want to keep private? Nothing?

People can have boundaries that they want certain private information to be kept private, whether a friend takes offense to you having a boundary is THEIR issue to deal with. It isn't your friends responsibility that you don't accept their boundaries.

I have told everyone. It’s been so helpful for me, I want others to know how good it is!

How come?

My friend has lost 4 stone since 1 Jan doing keto.

Another friend has a significant and speedy loss due to bariatric surgery.

Neither are on WLI.

They will know.
When you loose weight suddenly.

If she brings it up again, suggest she speaks to her GP about using it on a trial basis to help her shed the weight of the judgement she’s carrying around daily.

But no, seriously, if she mentions it again I’d just tell her straight: you’ve made your feelings on GLP1 drugs very clear to me in the past, and frankly I find the topic rather uninteresting. She’ll be stunned but I doubt you’ll hear of it again.

It didn't take long before a few ignorant comments found their way on to this thread and it is just exhausting honestly.

I have been obese for most of my life. I'm also very successful, motivated and intelligent.

1. Calories in V calories out may be the lowest common denominator when it comes to weight loss but anyone who utters that sentence and then stops is either deluded or intentionally nasty.

It completely disregards the effects of numerous additional factors that a person could be dealing with in their life or their health that means that calories in V out is not the same equation from one person to the next.

2. Weight and weight loss is visible, but so is, for example, losing hair due to chemotherapy, being an amputee, having a skin condition etc. I'm sure people who live with those conditions face unimaginable ignorance, but weight attracts headlines and a media narrative that gives some kind of social permission to have an opinion on what it means to be fat even if that has never been your lived experience. It wouldn't be tolerated with any other condition in the way it is tolerated with obesity - obesity isn't even recognised as an actual medical condition by the majority of people!

3. The notion that not "admitting" to people how weight has been lost is somehow deceitful is an extension of point 2 above.

I live my daily life in a society that rejects me, thinks less of me for how I look, and judges me and makes assumptions about me without knowing the details. If not to my face then behind my back. Now you want me to educate people out of their own ignorance and arrogance too? No I don't think so. It's not my responsibility to educate anyone on weight loss, and I'm not being deceitful by not shouting from the rooftops about how I did it.

4. The comment about how people who have lost weight are wanting attention or whatever nonsense it said, after a lifetime of being either completely invisible or heavily criticised for how much you weigh, of course it would be nice to get compliments and some positive attention. I totally understand that and anyone who judges someone for it, you are showing your true colours.

Personally I hate the thought of it and I hope I don't get comments. I have achieved so much in my life but I know that to some people losing weight will be the only "achievement" they congratulate me on. I'd rather stay invisible thanks.

Finally, to those who don't think it will be an issue or people won't really comment, people do comment, perfect strangers ask intrusive and rude questions all the time. Again because fat people are devalued, they are prime target for the lack of respect that such intrusion stems from. Walk a day in an obese person's shoes before you dismiss really valid worries.

It sounds the very much the same, @Barrenfieldoffucks - all those years of feeling inferior because other people seemed able to do 'simple' things that defeated us.

Just such a revelation to have the cycle broken.

That's how I felt on starting my ADHD meds. All the shitty decisions I have made around food started to melt away, it was never just me being crap or immature or having no will power or whatever else I have told myself over the years. Which is why I have no issues talking to people about it really.

I like to try and educate the negative people who think 'eat less, move more' is something that long-term obese people have somehow overlooked.

I'm now in my 50s. I've been very overweight for large parts of my whole life. Literally the fat child and teen in a thin family.

I've had disordered eating from fad diets, gym addiction, marathon running, 90-day shreds, etc. and been a standard size for a few months at a time, many times, before regaining all the weight and more, each time.

I'm also very successful in my work. My weight was the thing that ruled my life, made me secretly sad, depressed and feeling less-than.

4 months of Mounjaro has made me realise it's never been my fault. The weight I've never lost around my middle has all but disappeared. My visceral fat has gone from 23 to 14. My insulin processing has stablised. The 'food noise' I've lived with for 50+ years has gone.

Part of this has been a suppressed appetite, I'm not interested in food unless I'm genuinely hungry, but that's a side effect of the way the medication 'fixes' the insulin process and stabilise blood glucose. It's a MEDICATION for the chronically obese, that fixes something that didn't work properly.

I'm delighted that it's available and hope that more and more people safely find benefits from it.

I feel the same! Sounds like you have good boundaries though and you’re able to manage these interactions well.

I find people can be quite outspoken (insensitive) when it comes to weight loss.

Good luck with it all!

Hopefully you will find not many people ask you our of the blue. I can't imagine asking someone "how did you do it?" if they themselves didn't bring up the topic! If I wanted to pay them a compliment I would say something like "I like your outfit today, you look great".

I think this is spot on.

There is also an element of jealousy, from people who struggle with their weight but who aren't fat enough to qualify for the jabs and who see people on the jabs reaching with (apparent) ease the target they themselves can only meet with willpower alone, iyswim (since, once prescribed, you can stay on the jabs below a weight at which you wouldn't otherwise be prescribed them just for weight loss). Those people fail to take into account the side effects etc, but it's easy to see how that might make people jealous (especially if the person on the jabs is denying it irl and/or coyly claiming online that only they and their GP know how they could possibly have lost such a huge amount of weight in such a short period).

This is a (possible) explanation rather than justification, though, as none if it is anyone else's business!

Your basic premise that people are stupid - and overweight people are more stupid than the average person - is completely false.

competent adults research medication, talk to doctors. They understand that a high proportion of the population are on ant depressants and that most won’t want to disclose that.

You view of the basic intelligence of the adult population is depressing.

and trust em - most overweight people have researched the very diet and exercise regime to death!

Why do you think using a WLI means your weight loss isn’t hard? I still have to count calories, make sensible choices and get myself to the gym 4 times a week. I still feel hungry and have to stop myself snacking. It’s still hard. Just not quite as hard as it would be if I wasn’t using them.

This thread is fascinating.

There is huge emotion around weight - society isn’t kind to larger people. Skinny privilege is real.

so if smaller people see other people losing weight a lot of them don’t like to. They don’t want to lose their skinny privilege.

so they want a way to put the person down - to still feel superior. The sneering that medication is cheating is just that. You still have to diet and exercise - you just don’t feel the overwhelming hunger.

there is a nastiness to those saying you have to disclose medical information - they want to take away from the weight loss. Want to still feel superior.

the physcology behind this is fascinating

There is such a thing as lying by omission. If someone says "wow, you've lost weight! What's your secret?" (Rude, any which way).

Then if you just say "thanks, I feel great". There's no lie there.

If you say "thanks! It's been a hard slog" or "thanks, diet and hard work" or whatever...that's a deliberate omission, aka a lie. You don't owe the truth to anyone obviously, especially about something private, but making out that something is all down to hard work or will power or whatever when it isn't is a lie however you spin it.

Weight is a very visible thing, hence people asking or talking about it. I have lost weight recently due to new ADHD meds, people have commented and depending on who it is/the phrasing I have either just said "ah really? Thanks" or "yup, my bonkers eating is miles better since I started some new medication" or similar.

If I said "thanks! I've been watching what I eat" or whatever that would be a lie and an omission.