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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To think it’s wrong of the school to do this?

169 replies

Sunflowersunshinebreeze · 27/02/2025 11:20

My child’s school has paid for a theatre company to come in and perform a show.

They are asking for a ‘voluntary contribution’ of £4 to enable your child to watch. (I am fine with that and have paid).

The office have said only those that have paid will be allowed to go and watch it and those that haven’t will have to stay in the classroom.

I am shocked that they are going to be excluding children who don’t pay (for whatever reason). E.g. they cannot afford to pay/parents didn’t see the notification in time/forgot etc.

Is this the same in other schools? Maybe I’m behind the times and this is the norm these days, but it just feels so wrong to me!

OP posts:
arethereanyleftatall · 27/02/2025 14:18

As I am lucky enough to have no financial worries, I used to always pay for 2 instead of just my one child for these voluntary contributions. I told the school if they didn't need it, just to add it to the DD I'd set up anyway for them. I think they have the same thing in Costa - to pay to put a coffee behind the till.

UndermyShoeJoe · 27/02/2025 14:17

Ours get around it by having something that’s not classed as educational as part of it.

“£5 to do this education class and icecream” no ice cream for those who don’t pay.

as well as if we don’t get 75% or whatever the trip or event won’t go ahead.

whosaidtha · 27/02/2025 14:15

Our school often says if enough people don't pay the voluntary contribution they won't run the trip. But that would be everyone missing out not just the few who didn't pay.

Hedgerow2 · 27/02/2025 14:14

Are you sure about this? When my kids were at school children wouldn't have been excluded from events taking place during school hours. They sometimes had to cancel events if there weren't enough voluntary contributions. But talk about stigmatising children through no fault of their own 😡

FashionCrazy · 27/02/2025 14:11

Our school always asked for a 'voluntary contribution ' but stated that if not enough funds were received to cover the cost of the activity then it would be cancelled. It was probably always the same parents paying for these activities and covering the cost for everyone but I don't think any kids were left out. I don't think school cared who paid and who didn't, just as long as they received enough.

Allthebrokenplaces · 27/02/2025 14:10

Are you sure you haven't misunderstood?
Could you post the bit of the letter that says this (removing any personal info of course)?

Unless it's a private school, might be different in that case.

Bippityboppitybooo · 27/02/2025 14:09

I thought this wasn't allowed too? Our school goes too far the other way. They had a disco at the end of last term, voluntary cost was £1 to wear disco clothes all day. The teachers evidently overexplained that the £1 was optional for those who couldn't afford it, that they could still wear their disco clothes without paying the £1. My son was chuffed at the idea and told me we don't have to pay 🤣 I explained that if no one pays, things like discos don't happen, so we pay.

cinnamonbunfight · 27/02/2025 14:06

I bet the theatre company wouldn’t be happy about this either.

Burntt · 27/02/2025 14:03

I'm sure that's illegal

SauvignonBlonk · 27/02/2025 12:54

That is terrible. I’d be complaining about to the head teacher about that. They’re not allowed to charge hence the term ‘voluntary contribution’. It’s not voluntary if you are excluded when you don’t pay!!

Sunflowersunshinebreeze · 27/02/2025 12:49

This isn’t the first time. There was an activity afternoon in the hall during golden time and I didn’t realize you had to pay and my child missed out and had to stay in the classroom with the other children whose parents didn’t pay.

OP posts:
Youcancallmeirrelevant · 27/02/2025 12:35

I wish my daughter's school did this. I'm happy to pay a bit more to cover the cost of families who genuinely can't afford the cost, but I know loads of family's who can afford and don't pay because it's voluntary

MumChp · 27/02/2025 12:35

I would ask to have my donation back.
I don't see any point of supporting this decision.

SleepToad · 27/02/2025 12:33

Wow that is pretty shit and personally I'd be contacting the governors to complain. It's financial segregation.

I grew up in a poor area with lots of friends who's families didn't have much spare cash, we were on benefits from the when I was 10 because of dad's poor health and 4 years later mum's. Christ even 45 years later I'm justifying it...that's what shame does I suppose...and those kids left in the classroom will feel that shame, so please complain.

Thankfully as all my mates were in similar positions I never felt hard done by...we were the cool kids when we went to the comprehensive as we were already a large tight knit gang that you get from growing up in a small village cut off from the city.

Sweetpickle101 · 27/02/2025 12:11

That’s not normal no, how is it voluntarily? It’s compulsory! Really unfair

LadyQuackBeth · 27/02/2025 12:09

It's not normal in most schools, I don't think. Our school has a fund to cover costs for kids that can't afford things and it is all handled discretely. The money comes from the parent council in part.

When approaching the school, it is usually better to do so with a solution than just a complaint. So go to the school and ask what can be done to ensure that all kids get to see the show and other things like it - do you need to ask better off parents if they want to donate a "spare ticket," when they book, can you approach the PTA about fundraising to meet these costs, bring the issue out into the open and the school will magically find the money or you can work with it to find a solution.

ItGhoul · 27/02/2025 12:01

Yes, that's a bit shit. First of all, it's not really a 'a voluntary contribution' - it's pay up or don't watch. Second, it's not like it's happening as an extra-curricular thing. They've invited this company to come in during the school day as part of normal school. It's not a school trip.

Ablondiebutagoody · 27/02/2025 12:00

They won't ban kids from watching the performance

noblegiraffe · 27/02/2025 11:22

They can’t charge for educational activities that take place during the school day.