To not be in the room when my dog is put to sleep?

Our family of four were with our beautiful girl when she was pts. Our teenagers 15 and 17 at the time. I was very clear with them that this was a time to be calm and reassuring for our lovely girl and they could then cry and howl as much as they wanted afterwards. I warned them they were not to come if they couldn’t handle it but they wanted to be there. Life is very very hard and sometimes you have to dig very very deep for those you love. It is the last act of living kindness you can do for them and that is a comfort afterwards. Losing your doggy best friend is heartbreaking- you have obviously given her/ him a life of love and happiness and they are very lucky to have so many special people to care for them. Condolences xx

Provided the dog has a main owner there, you don’t need to be there. I’m very unemotional generally and found putting down a small pet quite traumatic, and seeing them die was quite shocking. If I’d been worried about handling it already, it was worse than I expected and so I wouldn’t recommend.

If no one else was going to be there you 100% would still need to be there, but in this instance I think it’s better if you stay home.

I went when our dog was put to sleep, my husband didn't. My husband would have been so upset the dog could have picked up on it. This is something need to consider.

As long as you aren't her "main" human then its ok to not be there. We had one of our DDogs pts when DS was very young so only 1 of us could attend.
As long as someone who is (one of) her main humans is there thats the important thing

Read an article by a vet recently who said people should be there as the dogs look for them and it makes them stressed, they’ve invariably been utterly loyal to their owners all their lives so it’s the least you should do, however OP does state family will be with the dog, so on occasions like this, if it’s just too much to deal with, don’t go

Ah, this is one of the saddest yet bravest things we can do for our pets. I remember when we had to put our dog to sleep; I was really worried about going into the room with him, but I am so glad I did. It was such a peaceful and kind experience. He was lying on a lovely sheepskin blanket, and I stroked his head while he slipped away. I cried a lot, but I felt relieved to give my little friend such a peaceful passing.
Having said that, if you don't want to go in, you can say your goodbyes at the door and that is absolutely fine too. You know yourself better than anyone, and it's always best to follow your instincts.
Sending you lots of love on this sad day xxx

You have to go.
It's the last kindness that you can do for your friend and companion.

They look for you when you leave them.

Don't let her meet her end wondering where you are. Fucks sake.

I would be there, it may comfort you. It's over in seconds and is very peaceful.

You either love her enough to put your own feelings aside or you don’t. I can’t fathom not being there for my pets’ last moments. It’s your last duty after all the love they have given you.

Do the right f…… thing OP. This is the last act of respect and love. Be a decent human being.

I personally would be with her. I can’t imagine not being with my dog until her last breath, stroking her fur and telling her I love her so much. I would have to be with her until the very end. Only you know what is best for you but just make sure you don’t regret whatever you decide. I’m so sorry you and your family are going through this. I can’t imagine being without my girl. Big hugs to you x

I'm so sorry OP, our darling cat, who we absolutely adored and had for 18 years was put to sleep at the weekend after being hit by a car. I had never been in the situation before but it was very, very peaceful.

He was wrapped up very snug in lots of blankets and was still very sleepy from the sedation for his xray. I held his paw and stroked his head and told him that he was such a good boy and how much we loved him. I was surprised when the vet said that his heart would stop within 5-10 seconds, and it may have been even quicker than that. There was nothing to 'see' and he didn't look any different before and after. I'd go if you possibly can, I was really glad that I did.

Your dog will be with people who love her. That's all that matters.

When my childhood dog was put down, my mum decided to not be in the room as she thought her distress would make it worse for him. So I held him and told him he was a good boy. It was peaceful and no stress for him.

Afterwards, my mum basically did the same. She held me and told me I was a good boy.

That worked for our family. You do what works for you.

My condolences.

Always remember the great life you and your family gave your dog.

Ah I’m so sorry x

I think as long as she has other loved ones there, she’ll be ok but think about whether you might regret it in future x

our last family dog went in for an op for cancer and the vet said to my mum if his disease looked too advanced he’d plan to euthanise him on the table, which is what happened. I know my mum felt guilty afterwards she hadn’t been there x

It's really hard but you need to find the strength to do it.

When our cat died we had to take his body home and show the other cats before taking him to the vets to go on to the memorial place, it was the worst journey of my life.

You can't choose to have him die alone without family there holding him.

If you don't feel being there is right for you, I would absolutely stay away and not feel guilty, whatever pp think they would, or you should, do.

I took a much loved cat to be PTS years ago and still carry the experience with me. For me, it was far more upsetting than anything involving dead or dying people, which I've had a lot of experience of. I can't explain that, but it was. Trust your instinct about what is right for you.

I'm very sorry about your ddog.

I am so sorry.

I couldn't be with one of my dogs when they were pts during covid. It still haunts me.

I have been with my other dogs when they have been pts and usually it is a calm and loving moment. I kiss their heads and stroke their ears and they usually look at you with calm and love.

I feel able to grieve better when I was with them right to the end knowing that they knew my love and gratitude for them. I feel I owe it to them.

Op, I would just add, whatever you decide is the right decision for you. Once you’ve decided, move on and don’t think about it again. It’s not for anyone else to decide or judge you. You are allowed to not feel guilty about your choice here. You’ll have enough to deal with as it is so be kind to yourself.

Feel the fear and the grief and do it anyway. This is about her and her comfort, not about you. Down the line, when your parents and siblings talk about it and about the dog, you will be reminded that when the time came to be strong, you flunked out.

I speak as someone who has held two much-loved dogs as they died and will always be glad that my scent and voice and touch was the last thing they knew.

As long as she has a people with her then you don't have to be. We put down our dog last year, and me and my daughter were with him. But if my DH was alive he wouldn't have been physically able to.
I'm the most important person in my dogs life, so I absolutely had to be there.

OP, our DCat had to be put to sleep - I couldn’t not have been there, and afterwards, I was glad I had been. It was very peaceful, and I felt it was the last thing I could do for her. I think you would feel guilty afterwards if you don’t - not that you should, just that I fear you might.

Of course but if there is an option....

Is there a reason you don’t want to be there? Are you worried about the process?

I had to have three of ours PTS last year, and a pony. It was an awful year. I was so scared the first time but I was so pleased I was there for her in the end. It was peaceful, and I got to give her a final kiss goodbye. The vet was great and let us slip out the back and sort the financials later.

Are you likely to regret not being there?

This. Sending love 💕

You just couldn't wait to stick the boot in could you? You couldn't even be bothered to actually read the post, even when the first line clearly said please read the full post for context