People who are too busy to do exercise

Surely if he’s choosing to have 2 showers within 5-6 hours of each other he can’t really complain about the time taken?

No he also showers in the morning , pre work... and this is in the office so I guess time is from Leaving desk to getting back to it, (going through the building to changing rooms, shower befor going back to office)

Good for you but some people just don’t like exercise. For me I understand the value in exercise but it’s a chore for me, it makes me tired and grumpy and there’s many other things I’d rather do with my free time than exercise because I’d rather feel rested/ accomplished/ having enjoyed myself than sweaty, out of breath, tired, and hungry.

It depends on your support at home. I've two young kids and I find it hard to squeeze a run in. I'm already up at 6:15am for work and it's dark so it wouldn't be safe going out at early or late (though it's starting to get brighter now). I do manage to get out 3 times a week but usually with some grumbling from my partner. It's hard going. I hate it but force myself. I can completely understand how it's hard to find the time and some people are too tired or can't be bothered which is fine because exercise sucks! 😂 YABU

I say that I struggle to find the time to fit things in. Of course I could get up an hour earlier to go for a run - but I sleep badly (combination of a child that often wakes in the night, and peri-menopause insomnia) so I don't want to get up any earlier than I have to (and I'm not sure I could physically cope with even less sleep tbh). I could also go for a run the minute I finish work - but tbh I just want to sit and decompress for half an hour. I used to have a personal trainer, and we had this conversation once, he suggested that I could go to the gym to decompress, and I pointed out that some people find exercise a useful way to destress. Others, like me, don't. If I'm feeling stressed or overwhelmed by work or life, the thought of adding yet another 'thing to be done' in to my schedule pushes me over the edge tbh.

I really enjoy exercise (which came as a shock as I only started exercising properly in my late thirties) but I'm not so smug that I can't see that there are multiple barriers to exercises, particularly for women who may feel unsafe exercising outside - last time I went for a solo outdoor run some bloke stopped his car to call me a fat cunt so that was nice. 🤬

I agree.

There are two excellent online trainers I'm aware of who have a lot of very short workouts that are not super challenging but effective:

• Lucy Wyndham Read (easy pilates type exercises)
• Livinleggings (yoga based stretches)

I don't have the energy to do some exercise after a 12 hour shift. Good for you though. Why do you care whether somebody does or doesn't

I've always prioritised exercise, even when I was a lone parent and was commuting an hour and a half every day and when I was working and caring for my mother, though I guess I've had some flexibility in my jobs to be able to do that. I do find as I've got older though it is more difficult to rush from one thing to another, I need more downtime between activities.

The people who wind me up are those who repeatedly keep saying that they ought to exercise and never do. I've got a friend who each week says "I haven't been to the gym". I don't think she's been to the gym for 20 years, so I'm not particularly surprised she hasn't been in the last week, again! I used to try and encourage her, but I've given up.

I love running and until December was fitting in a run most days. From January I literally haven't had time. I have 3 jobs (an extra one got added in December), 2 kids, 2 dogs and while I could set my alarm to get up at 5am, I am too exhausted. Occasionally I jump on the treadmill once everything is done for the day, about 10:15pm, but I largely don't have the strength and if I'm not writing a report at that time, I will take the opportunity to sleep.

Some people do have busy lives and when sleep gets massively reduced, that needs to be prioritised where it can, over exercise. A couple of times I've thought about running when I take DC to an activity - plan being drop him off, then go for a run, then pick him up ... but again, last two times I've aimed to do that I've decided to have a nap in the car instead.

As someone who enjoys exercise I can tell you that there are periods in my life where I've been able to fit it in, which has been wonderful and I've been lucky, and periods like now when I literally can't.

I don't tend to share my exercise habit's with others. Very few people know I'm a runner, and currently a not running runner! So hopefully noone is judging me. I certainly don't see myself as 'so busy and important' and people that can exercise as 'having all the time in the world'.

You strike me as v judgemental and not very supportive...

Focus on your own life and don't worry what other people r doing. It's a shame to think some friends would react like you ...

It really isn't hard to imagine that there are people in the world who don't have a spare 40 minutes 3 times a week, or that those who do have a spare 40 minutes are too exhausted or too tethered to the house to go for a run/don't have the space to do a home workout/are working 40 hour weeks with 10 hours of commuting time and are too exhausted to do much beyond cook, eat, clean up and sleep!

Pre-kids I went to the gym 3x a week and swam every weekend. Since kids, I can't do that as I can no longer afford the gym membership and I don't have anyone who can watch the kids that regularly without paying a small fortune for childcare. If I do get 40 minutes to myself, it is soon swallowed up in housework or errands so if occasionally someone wants to sit down with a cuppa and a biscuit and scroll mumsnet for half an hour, who are you to judge?

although running after dark is a luxury that only men really get so it didn't always work.

I have run in the dark for many years. I live in a safe area and have a good head torch. Many women do not feel in danger running at night.

Now I'm working at an office with no shower. It is dark when I get up. It's dark when I get home. I live in a village with no street lights, and no pavements beyond the village centre. Little narrow country lanes. Running in the dark around here is very dangerous even with a head torch.

Obviously I don't know where you live, but I also live in a village and run a lot at night. In some ways I feel safer because I can see car lights. I have a good head torch (so I can see) and wear lots of reflective clothing (so I can be seen). I've never feared for my personal safety.

my partners 20 min lunchtime run takes an hour out of his day

I presume the shower he's taking is just the regular once a day shower though?
Taking 40 mins to stretch and shower for a 20 min run seems a poor return on the gains.

Sorry if im repeating I've not read the whole thread

It's not just 'having the time' for the 15-20min to run/exercize though is it, ... its the getting changed befor, the stretching pre and post, the shower after, my partners 20 min lunchtime run takes an hour out of his day

I go to the gym in the morning (can't run bad knees) ...for a half hour class I get up/loo/dressed/leave house(15 min) cycle down to gym (10 min) chain up bike, go in,take off overclothes/ stuff in locker(10min) get set up for class/chat (5 min) class (30 min) ,chat/leave the gym/unchained bike/cycle home/put away bike (25 min) I'll be sweaty and hair a mess (wouldnt everyday if not exercizing) so will need a shower/wash &dry hair (20-30min) ...2 hours ...And thas me being efficient... bag packed night befor clothes layer out in bathroom, bike in hallway by the front door

And sorry i don't meant to come accross as smug... my exercizeing is so I can eat more cake chocolate and biscuits and not have to buy new clothes

Absolutely is for me. I would have to do exercise at 8pm and by that time I am ready for bed. I just don't want to. And I used to fit in 4 gym sessions a week and walks etc too

She didnt say it was the same thing.

While I think op is 100% on the wind up and run, maybe they are still running 🏃‍♂️ hence haven't been back.

Craft type hobbies are easy to do whilst kids are in bed or when they are watching tv.
It's not exactly the same as going for a run. And the time constraints many mums have

It's actually bringing back school memories of being sneered at by those ruddy-cheeked, bat-wielding girls for preferring reading to PE.

You could say the same about anything people don't do.

Making time to exercise is making time to prioritize yourself and your health. People, women in particular, are bad at that. When you have children to care for, or parents care for, a job, a spouse, friends, a house that needs attention, it can feel selfish to take time out to do something for yourself, regardless of how important it is.

You are annoyed by people saying this because you are choosing to interpret it as them meaning that you have tons of free time. That isn't necessarily what they mean and even if it is you can choose not to interpret it that way.

YABU to be annoyed about it really. I think you just have to stop interpreting it as "I am busy and important and you are not". I think in a sense you are right, (almost) everyone could in theory find the time, they would just have to make different choices about how they spend their time that they are not willing to make. Often for extremely good reasons! But a simpler answer is just "I don't have time".

I used to feel a bit similar back when I was chair of the PTA and used to ask people to help. I did get a bit annoyed by "I don't have time" if it was said in a way that implied that I clearly had lots of spare time. I was working full time in a fairly demanding job and had two primary aged children and I knew that objectively most of these people had at least as much time as I did. The truth was really "No I prefer to spend my time in other ways eg exercising (!!)" and would kind of preferred them to say that. But I can also see that most people would have seen that as ruder.

Sorry, bit long. I think YANBU but I do kind of know what you mean.

I was totally on board with your routine until you mentioned a kale smoothie. That’s when it all got a bit far fetched

I try to exercise but this is usually walking the dog, walking to pick the children up instead of driving, swimming with the children etc not high intensity but I genuinely believe I don’t have time. I work full time as a university lecturer, I am undertaking my PhD and have to engage in multiple research projects. One of my children has Autism and requires much more of my attention and I as my children are only going once (and I must admit I do not enjoy exercise) I don’t want to spend the little free time I have in a gym. I’d much rather be out at the Zoo, theme parks, farms, the park etc. Once my children reach secondary school age I’m sure this will change, but for now I’m quite happy spending what little free time I have in the evening to myself with a bottle of wind and crap tv

It’s definately the case that some people don’t have time. Often due to working commitments and lack of childcare, or the weight of other responsibilities. Great that OP manages it but no need to be on one’s high horse. 🐴

I run 6 days a week. Plus I often run up to 18-20 miles at the weekend if I'm marathon training. Does that make me better than you OP? Less lazy than your meagre 4 days?

Or, perhaps, I have a partner who wfh and besides that my kids are old enough to be left alone in the house. It's much, much easier for some people than it is for others. That's the main reason.