Colleague just said my husband sounds very Andrew Tate.

Lord above, some of these replies 🤦‍♀️

He’s offering a lift, and that makes him Andrew Tate? Or a woman should decline ‘in order to maintain her independence’?! It’s a lift ffs, it’s nice and it’s helpful. It’s not telling her where she can go, who she can go with or when she should come home.

And don’t even get me started on ppl who are digging up old posts of OPs to ‘prove’ a point.

I live in a village with terrible public transport, my husband is forever picking me up from nights out! I’d say an equal mix of me asking for lifts and him offering. He’ll always happily give friends a lift home too. He’s a lovely man and couldn’t be less like Andrew Tate!

Some people like to slow drip poison when they’re jealous to make you question your relationship.

Yeah, I'm generally fine. Once in a while if it's pissing down and I'm in 3 inch heels, then a lift is great. Otherwise I don't mind making my own way home.

I guess it depends on where you live though, I generally have good transport links plus uber.

It would be interesting to see how many people would jump on the “why didn’t her DH/DP pick her up” wagon if a woman was attacked making her way home from the night out.

It’s a lovely gesture that your DH/DP wants to make sure you get home safely at the end of your night. My DP would also offer to do the same and I’d absolutely say yes please.

To call somebody infantile or dependent because they choose for their husband or partner to pick them up instead of paying for a stranger to drive them home in a taxi is barbaric.

”Do you want a lift home when you’re done?”
”No thank you love, I don’t want to appear like a needy child.”
Wtf 😂

The opening post does not give a true portrayal of the situation.

The advanced search certainly throws up interesting information.

Yeah, fine. I'd find it odd to disturb DH every single time though but each to their own.

She's jealous. My DH always offers to collect me (and anybody with me), and he's the mildest mannered man I've ever met.

Taxis cost a fortune round here and Uber and public transport don't exist. It's drink nothing and drive or get a lift back/back from the station which is about 8 miles away. I always appreciate a lift. Pretty normal countryside behaviour.

Your colleague has no idea what an 'Andrew Tate' looks like. Your DH sounds nice.

Husband Taxis is how I and my group of friends have any social life! We are rural based, public transport not an option. Your friend is an eejit

After 15 years...that's not a lack of independence stemming from the marriage, it's a refusal (or inability) to adapt.

First post nails it!

Husband can offer, wife can accept.
Husband can offer, wife can decline.
Husband doesn't offer, wife can ask.
Husband doesn't offer, wife can get taxi.

Andrew bloody Tate.... 🙄😐

‘Babe do you want a lift?’

’no, I would rather pay £££ for a taxi or walk home alone to assert my independence.’

you do you but I’m with OP! If DH wasn’t at home with the kids I’d be very happy with the offer of a safe lift home for me and my friends.

I’d love this. I feel uncomfortable in taxis due to past experiences and the added cost doesn’t help.

knowing someone safe is picking me up means I’d actually feel comfortable having a drink or two. I don’t really drink otherwise as I want to be sober around taxis or because I’m driving myself to avoid using taxis..

But surely if the OP is happy with it, that’s what counts? He’s not telling her what time she’s got to come home - or indeed that she can’t go out without him, or at all.

Your husband loves you and is doing his bit to see that you get home safely after nights out with friends. What on earth is wrong with that.

Ignore your idiot colleague.

I don't think Andrew Tate would give anyone lifts home, but especially not women.

FFS
I dont go out very often on a night but i'd be pissed at my DH if he DIDNT come to pick me up and he ALWAYS offers lifts to anyone would like one!!
Buses from.any of our major towns /cities to home would be a minimum of 2 with waiting around at connection point and at least £6. Taxis prob £20+ now

He's being kind, helpful and saving us time or/and money. And as OP says it's more
Me -I'm going out with pam on Saturday night, are uou OK to pick up and drop off
Him - yep
Me- thanks

After 34 years the importance of independence becomes very clear. FIL died 15 years ago. MIL relies on DH to visit monthly to deal with the post that she doesn’t open and to take her to the supermarket to stock up on the heavies and bulkies because her DH didn’t want her to learn to drive. Similarly I suspect if anything happens to mother or step, the other won’t cope alone.

A successful marriage respects the abilities of the other and is based on trust.

Is she single by any chance?

They sound like fools. My DH always used to give me lifts and pick me up. Because he loves me and wanted me to be safe and cared for. (He still does it!) Not giving a shit about you and your welfare would make a man more 'Andrew Tate.'

I have had colleagues in the past talking some shit. A couple of them said I need to make my husband have a vasectomy (we had a baby under 1 and a little toddler, and we weren't planning any more.) They said I need to make him have 'the snip' because it's not right that I keep taking the pill. (Their husbands had had one, but they were 42-43 when they had it!) My DH wasn't having a vasectomy because.....

1. We were only in our early 30s.

2. I didn't mind taking the pill at the time, as it controlled my periods brilliantly, and made them 75% better and less painful.

3. We may have changed our minds in a few years and wanted a third child. (And yeah it can be reversed, but we wouldn't take that risk.)

Yet they kept on about it for weeks at one time to the point where it felt like bullying. I didn't understand why because I had NEVER mentioned being pissed off with being on the pill, indeed it was a great benefit to me as I said.

I snapped one day and said 'will you 2 stop fucking banging on, he's not having the snip no matter how much YOU want him to have it! Your men may have had it and bully for them, mine's not having it!'

They were like Never mentioned it again though.

I have got a few similar stories about colleagues and the wanky things they come out with, and how nosey and intrusive and opinionated they can be, but it would take me til 3pm to finish the post! 😆

Are we talking about the man you were dating in 2024 who was a red flag because he didn’t see his kids much, or the man you were dating in 2021 and were having issues with his kids? Are they both the same man?