Colleague just said my husband sounds very Andrew Tate.

That must make me and my partner Andrew Tate too 🤷‍♀️ We always offer to collect each other, isn’t it what you do when you care?

I’d almost lure her in by asking what she means by that. Then stand silent while she digs a hole. There are Andrew tates out there 100%, but I’m a firm believer that he is an exception. It certainly isn’t a thing to be casting aspersions about. I would worry that if she can say it to your face, she can say it behind your back, to people who don’t know you, or your husband who sounds great!

It might say something about her experiences /experiences of someone close to her.
It sounds like she’s assuming it’s controlling behaviour. Maybe she has seen /experienced controlling behaviour in a man and him always collecting the woman was one of the ways in which he displayed his control.

If you feel up to it, I’d get back to her and simply ask her why she thought it was Andrew Tate-ish. Get her to spell out that it sounds controlling and then explain that is not how you experience your relationship (assuming this is the case!) and say you feel sad if she has had bad experiences which made her think this was the case.

If my husband isn't picking me up I'm not going and if I am going I will stay sober and drive. I don't like taxi's, i know a few people who have had bad experiences on taxis so it's not for me and that's it and I'm the same with my husband il pick him up or if not he drives, he probably wouldn't mind getting a taxi but if he is out i don't sit in the house and drink on my own anyway plus I'm not a big drinker so I'd rather pick him up and know he is safe and vice versa. Nothing wrong with that at all.

"more superior" is poor grammar

I agree, some people just like to be negative about everything.

Women on mumsnet are always talking about the world being a dangerous place because of some men. Then when a DH picks his wife up at night he is described as controlling.

Can't do right for doing wrong.

Based only on the information in the OP, sounds like your colleague is one of those exhausting people who's always trying to find the worst or most dramatic interpretation of a situation. I'd ignore her.

And yes, this is one situation where the person actually does sound a bit jealous and trying to pull you down a peg by sowing seeds of doubt. Either that or she has a warped view of what types of behaviour are controlling. A husband offering to give his wife a lift so she won't be uncomfortable or possibly in danger is a good thing.

Oh I cannot believe what I’ve read on this post , some of you women are just mean and nasty for no reason .

I know someone like this and he is a bit controlling. He is collecting her but then there's always a slight pressure for her to come home as she knows he's waiting to go to bed too. Andrew tate is a bit of a stretch of course.

My lovely husband always picks me up too and always drops my friends home. It's usually once or twice a month, we go out for a meal/drinks.
I'm always knackered by the end and wear stupid shoes so my feet hurt. I honestly couldn't be bothered to wait for a cab.
It makes the evening really easy, if there is ever a time he hasn't been able to pick us up one of my friends husbands will do it.
I often pick him up too if he goes out.
Your friend sounds jealous.

No, I wouldn’t be saying that - my DH is a wonderful man and rarely picks me up after a night out, and I’m fine with that because I’m a grown up.

Being a grow up means you can't have people do nice things for you?

On the fence. I don't think it makes your DH Andrew Tatey but it does indicate you aren't particularly independent.

I'm independent and perfectly capable of getting from A-B myself if I need to. But if my husband offers me a lift, I'll take him up on it. Being independent doesn't mean never accepting help from anyone.

I'm in my mid 60s and have one or two friends who had husband's who picked them up/took them everywhere. Now divorced or widowed, they are a bit of a pain in the bum because they expect others to collect them or take them home on a continual basis or they won'tbe able to come, so manipulative as well. "Oh, I'm not confident enough to drive at night because Tom always did that". It makes them very limited.

That's an entirely different situation and if they won't be able to come, that's on them. My MIL depended on her husband for pretty much everything. He died 20 years ago and now she is in her 80s, she's perfectly capable of doing things herself. Choosing not to once your husband has died, is a choice some people make.

I think you need a middle road op. I might just be a bit tough about it because DH has never been available. He's either been working or when dc were younger when I had a rare night out he was babysitting. If I'm having a drink I get a cab, or I don't drink and drive myself.

Why? It works for both of them, they can do what suits them. Infantilising women by saying they will get too used to things and that's their life ruined is ridiculous.

Your colleague is nuts.

I nearly always pick my girlfriend up from a night out and take her and her friends home xx to be fair, I often pick them all up and drop them off too! sometimes, if they are at our local I stop in and have a pint of pop with them before I take them all home xx unlikely to be Andrew tate type behaviour as we are both women!! I am just not a big drinker and I often see my mates afternoon/early evening whereas my other half likes a few pints at night with her mates x totally normal amount my tribe and everyone is happy to save money on taxis!!

Oh how stupid. I pick my partner up and he picks me up if we have separate nights out and if we fancy having a few drinks 🙄 and I doubt Andrew tate would actually put himself out for anyone anyway. Your husband sounds lovely some women's just want to be offended by everything a man does.

I detect a sniff of Jealousy

I am ex teacher and taught sessions to teenagers about Andrew Tate and what he did to women and more generally. I encouraged them to find other people in the public eye to admire.

Your colleague is really ill informed and even saying that about your husband makes her mean and a bitch.

Single is she 🤷‍♀️

I'm sure most of like beign independent but there are many ways to do that while also accepting a lift to save money and avoid the taxi queue in sometimes minus temperatures.

My husband always picks me up and drops me off. I do the same for him. I take him the match and pick him up. I thought this is just what you do when you’re with someone. It’s nothing to do with independence. It saves money on taxis and waiting around for hours for a taxi.

Dude go away with this incel bullshit.

She probably wishes she had a man like your husband. Bitter woman, ignore her.

My husband frequently picks me up, gives mates a lift home too and will do a cheeky, late night maccies run to cure my hiccups and satisfy my craving for nuggets. What a prick!

Not that strange surely, I mean those of us with young children would have to take it in turns for a start. But actually, DH and I used to always do this for each other even before we had kids, as long as we were available. We’d probably only go out independently and drink around once a month or so (happy to go out without drinking too) and we live rurally so taxis are difficult to come by and expensive. Plus it wouldn’t occur to me to drink at home if I was just having a night in on my own so no issue there.

It was a typing error but you knew what I meant.

Well done for correcting me though.

No late buses, rarely taxis. So at times over the years I've given lifts when husband, children, their friends have asked.

Does that make me controlling.