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AIBU?

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Invasion of privacy?

36 replies

Northernsoul72 · 26/02/2025 22:13

Today while I was at work my daughter who is nearly 19 went on to my PC and scrolled through my private WhatsApp messages to gather evidence that I talk about her to my friends. We are not having a particularly easy time of it with her at the moment so yes she did find some messages where I am letting off steam to my oldest friend and reading that can't have been pleasant. However I am absolutely furious at this invasion of privacy, but you can't really give consequences to an adult can you

OP posts:
Maray1967 · 26/02/2025 22:27

You can remind her that she’s an adult and has no automatic right to live in your house. If mine did that, they would now be on a warning and any repeat incident would lead to eviction.

And yes, does she want you scrolling through her messages to check what she’s said about you?

Northernsoul72 · 26/02/2025 22:26

Thank you. I honestly didn't think I needed to have intense security in my own home. I was a bit embarrassed to say in my first message but I did say I am this close to asking you to leave this house forever. I did swear to. I am just glad others see it as bad as I do. She currently won't talk to me, but I will try again in the morning

OP posts:
Elsvieta · 26/02/2025 22:23

Consequences? Well, you don't have to provide her with housing or any kind of financial support. Maybe a reminder of the fact wouldn't go amiss.

No, you can't punish a 19yo like a child, but you can treat it like any other situation where you live with any other adult and insist on basic respect for your property and privacy. Change your password and set out your expectations for the future VERY clearly.

FartyAnimal · 26/02/2025 22:22

And what is she planning to do with this evidence? You have every right to discuss her with your friends, and I'm sure she talks about you with hers. It shows she has a lack of respect for you and has no sense of boundaries. I guess you can stop making her life easy or tell her to go and find herself somewhere else to live

sparepantsandtoothbrush · 26/02/2025 22:22

If you don't want people saying shitty things about you then don't be a shitty person imo

50Balesofgrey · 26/02/2025 22:22

I would be annoyed at my lax security

thisfilmisboring123 · 26/02/2025 22:20

Iamallowedtodisagreewithyou · 26/02/2025 22:19

Ask her to see all the messages she's sent to her friends about you.

Yes this.
I would be absolutely furious.

shellyleppard · 26/02/2025 22:19

Improve your password safety??

Iamallowedtodisagreewithyou · 26/02/2025 22:19

Ask her to see all the messages she's sent to her friends about you.

Dollshousedolly · 26/02/2025 22:17

You can tell her how disappointed you are with her for doing this and suggest it’s time for her to move out.

LunaLove1 · 26/02/2025 22:14

You can tell them if they aren’t happy then they are old enough to stand on their own two feet and leave.