No RSVP = No Food

I feel bad for the kids, it’s a pretty shitty experience for them at 8 to have everyone given food boxes around them but not them.
It would be better if you didn’t take the late add ons at all imo.
It’s the parents fault for not rsvping but the children are the on getting the bad experience.

YANBU although I'd probably have text the mums saying no food was made as you didn't really, no spare food available, come back and bring something for your child to eat. Putting the inconvenience directly on them. I'd probably have found some way to feed the kids but that's just me, soft touch.

This sounds like Motherland!

All the people having a pop at OP - how could she prepare extra food for these children if she had no information about any dietary needs/allergies? The parents bolted as soon as the children arrived. Ok, she could have asked the child but then that puts her in a vulnerable position of relying on the word of a child. If she got it wrong the consequences would not bear thinking about.

Good on you OP for being sensible and thorough and I hope your child had a lovely birthday.

I do the same as the OP and make sandwiches for lunch bags to try and cut down on waste. Still doesn't always happen (do you give them half a sandwich as you know it will get eaten, or does that look mean and you know some kids will eat a full sandwich so you give all of them this for then to not eat anything!?).

I do feel sorry for the children as it's obviously not their fault to have such rude parents and I imagine if this happens to them constantly turning up late, nothing provided for them and then their mum is late to pick up they feel really embarrassed. Maybe if there were bags of crisps or an apple in the lunch bags you could always bring a few extra of these bits in the future as that would at least be something and is easy to take home and use again if not needed.

I don't know what the solution is though as I wouldn't want to be making spares just in case when I have sent out reminders several times. Surely their parents must function in the real world and know that if invited to something you need to respond, if they were invited out for a meal they wouldn't simply turn up on the day and assume there is space? But maybe some people do live like this.

Wow you can pick out the people who don’t bother to RSVP on this thread, can’t you? Congratulations OP, for sticking to what you said in your invitations.

Nah I don't like that really. It is so poor that parents don't respond, I appreciate that. To me the majority of waste at parties is the one bite taken from a sandwich. If you have all packaged kids food for snacks it can all be used as playpieces so all that's wasted preparing extras is 4 cheese rolls.
Again, not good enough not to RSVP but the kids sitting without whilst everyone else eats isn't cool. I would have sent my DH to the shop once I realised that they had arrived and I didn't have food for them

I personally would have done at least 2-4 extra boxes assuming no allergens. The parents were at fault but I would feel sorry for the kids. You could always use up the food from a few boxes afterwards. Obviously the main ones to worry about were those with dietary restrictions so if they don't RSVP I would just assume no allergy's.

@Drkarev shame on the PARENTS. Yes the parents for not bothering to reply thinking they are too good for that. For then bringing their child without eating knowing full well that the invitation said no RSVP no food. For leaving their child at the party without even letting the OP know and then for collecting their child from the party late. Shame on those parents.

It’s not unreasonable, and you’ve hopefully taught those parents a lesson. You clearly communicated the food situation, that’s on them.

BUT I personally would’ve done a couple of generic spares, just in case. And the just in case included just incase one was dropped / drink spilled / someone random turned up. I absolutely wouldn’t have catered en masse for everyone who didn’t reply. I might’ve had a big bag multipack of crisps on standby too.

That's just shit for the kids. How cruel to not provide food to some just because their parent is an arsehole.
The kids must have felt very excluded
And shame on those who would do the same. Punish the parent, not the child.

It would have definitely given the parents some food for thought-pun intended.I bet they rsvp next time.

@itsmeits how did the children that didn't get fed react at the time?

OP, I think you were completely justified. Two invitations, and an indication that you needed an RSVP otherwise no food should, I would have thought, have been enough for even the thickest skinned of parents. When I had parties many moons ago, I always knew exactly how many were coming - but the parties were much smaller affairs than forty at a bouncy castle! Perhaps the two DC without food will remind their parents in future to reply to an invitation - not to do so is nothing short of downright rude.

Which is down to the parents, not OP. It was made very clear.

Of course it was wrong! Two children had to sit and watch the other children eat their food whilst being offered nothing! That’s appalling!

All the people suggesting OP should have made up spares don't seem to realise she could still have been terribly cruel to poor innocent little children - if more turned up than she'd had spares for.

I had this with party bags. I always had two or three extra, made up with what was left over after I'd done the others, but one year I had four who hadn't RSVP'd and only two extra bags.

YANBU OP, you were clear on the invites and did your best to follow up with reminders. Mum who turned up late and complained sounds like an Amanda.

I think a bouncy castle party for 40 children is madness! Also, providing lunch boxes is more madness. When my DDs were having parties I would invite the whole class, prep food for 30, send out invites and see who turned up. I’m not wasting my time chasing up RSVPs, catering for a million different food choices and individually boxing it all up to transport to a local gym!
OP, you made a rod for your own back. Oh, and not feeding 2 children because their parents had the audacity not to RSVP is just nasty.

I would have took a few spare sandwiches etc and chucked it in a box for them but I agree it's rude to just turn up.

Silome people get so overly emotional on these threads.

No one has been punished. I think the OP went above and beyond in terms of making the situation clear.

If you don't rsvp, people will assume you're not going.

I didn't even realise this was a thing tbh. If someone didn't say they were coming, I assumed they weren't and so didn't cater for them or take spares just in case.

You were very clear on the invites which the parents must have read to be able to turn up at the right place at the right time!

While I absolutely understand your frustrations, in my experience it’s definitely part & parcel of hosting a kids birthday party with quite a few invitees… It just doesn’t sit right with me to effectively punish the kids for their parents incompetencies!

We recently had an invite to an adult birthday lunch in May. The invites asked for yes or no answers a week after the invite as they had to confirm numbers. Fair enough. Why don’t people do this for children’s birthdays then you could just chase up the ones who haven’t replied.

You were very clear that the children wouldn’t be fed. I possibly would have made up some extras in case. I did this with party bags for siblings and I knew parents would perhaps stay when dd was young. You didn’t and that wasn’t wrong either.

Do you not fond most of the food gets wasted with little kids anyway? They tend to take one bite out of a sandwich etc at a party.