AIBU re Mother's Day?

I agree. Go and enjoy a nice roast dinner and get a bit of time off. Who wants to go trudging round a zoo in March with a baby who won’t remember or appreciate it? Seems bonkers to me.

Also aquariums are great for babies. Ignore the moody posters and enjoy your day! Xx

Nope! You are a new mum in the trenches. You get to spend mothers day how you please for quite a few years now.

I'd make a stand now because if you don't she'll expect it every year. When you're children are adults it's ridiculous to expect them all home for any occasion, especially when they have partners and children.

But there's no suggestion that the OP is going to have any of that.

Nah. It's a chance for the dad to show his wife how much he values her for literally growing his child.

It can be expected all they like. Make this the year you do what YOU want. It's time for them to understand Taking It In Turns.

I think it's a bit odd celebrating it before your DC can join in anyway. At 5 months your baby can't make you a card, doesn't have any concept of mother's day, can't say it. I don't get the whole fathers buying cards on behalf of pre-verbal children and pretending they are from them business.

Save it for a couple of years when they can actually understand it themselves.

Get DH to take the baby over in the morning so you have a break.
Wouldn’t bother with aquarium for a baby though - save it for when you have to do kid stuff! Go for lunch or have DH cook for you!

YANBU at all

I think this is an important time to mark a line in the sand and for your dh to show you he has your back and respects you as the mother of his baby. It doesn't mean you'll never spend the day with her, you just want the first one alone and That Is Fine.

It's a day to celebrate all mothers, a club you have now joined but don't own.

The op just wants to go to the zoo. She doesn't want a parade or a Trump Gaza golden statue of herself.

I would do what you wanted to with dh and your baby. MIL is not on her own. It’s selfish of her.

It doesn't matter if she isn't happy with it. You are going to the zoo or aquarium with your baby and your husband, it doesn't matter if she's happy about it or not.

To add I think it's ok to go the day before or after I'm just trying to point out that it is other people's day too and it can be fun to do a bit for everyone. If you don't want to split the celebration have you thought about suggesting your mil moves the whole lunch to the day before so you can all be together and make a proper fuss?

Do what you want
I have continued to take my mum out for lunch on Mother’s Day and my DC are in their early 20s
I leave my MIL to my DH

Going against the grain here but I actually think you might be being a bit precious in your overall perspective.

It's a day to celebrate all mothers, a club you have now joined but don't own. It's just as much about your husband's relationship with his mum and your relationship with yours.

I do think you should do something to celebrate with your DH and kids if you like, but could you not split the day. Go out for a special brunch and then go to the lunch or a drink after lunch or go to see her and your mum in the morning to drop flowers in.

I am a mum but get just as much enjoyment from that day from celebrating others too.

I don’t think you’re being unreasonable at all to want to spend your first Mother’s Day with your child and husband. You only get one first Mother’s Day. Going the day before to hers sounds totally reasonable. I hope your DH sticks up for you on that!

I don't get the big deal about it at all. It's not an all day celebration. It's a card, usually made at school and a little bunch of daffodils they give out at church.

Never understood the angst that's here every year about whether to spend it with one or both grandmothers or neither or whatever.

I ended up hosting DM and MIL, both have lifts back and forth, cards, presents, flowers, the wine flows- I cook a roast….. it’s now expected every year.

Don’t start anything you don’t mean to keep up, call over in the morning and give card/flowers! and enjoy the rest of your day! or you could be stuck doing the same thing every year.

I think surely if you're a mother with grown up children who then have their own children you have to have some understanding of your child having to juggle priorities.

You don't have to see your MIL at all around mothers day. She isn't your mother. I see my own mum and my husband sees his mum. We don't have children, but if we did then our children would take priority over our parents.

Do it how you want.
I go to see my mum on mothers day and dh goes to see his.

My DH will see his mum on the Saturday. I'll see my mum on one of my day's off in the week. Mother's Day is my day with my toddler and DH🙂

My son in law pops in to see his mum in the morning, takes a gift then goes home and cooks Sunday lunch with his family.

MIL suggested that she wouldn't be happy with this and wants to see them all together.

Ah well, she's not the mother in your family anymore, she doesn't come first. Good on your DH.