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Original poster

Blind date - who pays if...?

38 replies

myslippersarepink · 26/02/2025 20:30

I've just watched First Dates on tv. I can't believe how many women let the guy pay for the date and then say they don't want to see them again.

The last couple, the waitress asked how they wanted to pay the bill, cue awkward silence as the woman took a sip of her drink, then half heartedly asked if he wanted her to split it with him so the guy felt he had to offer to pay it all. She then turned him down for a second date after he said he would see her again!!

How can woman like that be so rude and entitled. Surely if you told intend to see someone again, you shouldn't expect them to pay for you?

Is it just me that thinks that's unacceptable?

OP posts:
Newbie8918 · 26/02/2025 21:50

@Bunnyboot I totally disagree!

I earn my own money. He doesn't need to fund or provide for me. I want equality in every aspect of the relationship.

I'm also not naive enough to think that he's 'auditioning' for me 🤣 that's not the way to start any relationship IMO.

On my 1st Date my DH asked me out so he paid for dinner. We moved on and I paid for the cocktails in the next bar.

We did this for a few dates as he was quicker than me to ask/make arrangements but if he got the tickets, I'd get the refreshments etc.

When I arranged a date, I organised and paid (theme park entry).

My head falls off in a world where people still think a man should pay, for no other reason than 'he's a man'. Nah.

Bunnyboot · 26/02/2025 21:40

Bloom15 · 26/02/2025 21:32

Why should he?!

Show quote history

Because that's the role of men, to provide and protect (with his money). Paying on a date is the least he could do to show me he can take care of me. He is auditioning to be my man, generousity and wealth are essential. This isn't a friend's meeting.

Bunnyboot · 26/02/2025 21:32

LaceWingMother · 26/02/2025 21:19

Jesus Christ, which century are you living in?!

Edited
Show quote history

It's my current and past life experience and how some women live and date. Poor men want you to think it's unfeminist or doesn't exist because they fall short and can't afford to offer this.

Bloom15 · 26/02/2025 21:32

Bunnyboot · 26/02/2025 20:59

The man should always pay in my book without the woman owing him anything in return. If he resents this then he should leave dating and focus on earning more money.

Why should he?!

JenniferBooth · 26/02/2025 21:30

This is the second thread like this in 24 hours. Men posting with the "well they wanted feminism so they can have it" routine

LaceWingMother · 26/02/2025 21:19

Bunnyboot · 26/02/2025 20:59

The man should always pay in my book without the woman owing him anything in return. If he resents this then he should leave dating and focus on earning more money.

Jesus Christ, which century are you living in?!

Honeyroar · 26/02/2025 21:17

I just couldn’t let someone pay if I knew I wasn’t interested.
Unless it had been an absolute endurance sitting with them for the meal because they were rude/arrogant or something! Then I might let them just to be awful back.

RawBloomers · 26/02/2025 21:13

I think the default should be whoever asked pays if there was a clear approach from one of the couple, or 50/50 if a more mutual OLD, type of arrangement. I do see why women see the man offering without hesitation as a green light. But, tbh, I can see why men would see women hesitating to pay half as a red light. Generosity/tightness works both ways.

And I think it's pretty cynical to let the guy pay even when he's offered up front if you know you aren't going to see him again.

LittleRedRidingHoody · 26/02/2025 21:04

This is such a tricky one! I like 50/50 in theory but I do find the men who immediately offer and pay without fuss are generally better mannered/more 'gentlemanly' overall ~ so it's subconsciously become a green flag for me 😂

If I knew it wasn't working out I'd pay half though. And if we were going to see each other again and he did pay I'd make a point of paying the next time.

CaptainFuture · 26/02/2025 21:01

Bunnyboot · 26/02/2025 20:59

The man should always pay in my book without the woman owing him anything in return. If he resents this then he should leave dating and focus on earning more money.

😆 good one! And the woman shouldn't have to worry her pretty little head about finances now she'll have A MAN to take control! Boom boom!!

DorothyStorm · 26/02/2025 21:01

im sure this is word for word a post ive already read

Bunnyboot · 26/02/2025 20:59

The man should always pay in my book without the woman owing him anything in return. If he resents this then he should leave dating and focus on earning more money.

toomuchfaff · 26/02/2025 20:53

there was a post about this yesterday...