Why do some parents not engage with school?! Asking as a teacher!

It's not about what I as a parent can manage - it is about the child and what they can and can't not manage.
2 children did homework with no major issues.
1 child found homework unbelievably easy and sailed. 1 child could not cope with homework at all. Trying to do homework made life unbearable for them and the whole household. Child would hurt themselves. Homework was too hard, even reading was traumatic. Going to school was challenging enough. And ultimately school couldn't meet child's needs. The damage homework did and the price we are paying from ongoing issues caused by school and homework you have no concept of.
But to put it in terms you may understand my child life is more important than homework will ever be

If the books are left at home that is at least evidence they are being read at home.

Well I know many affluent parents who live separately also some with Cocaine addictions, domestic violence and mental health problems so I think you are being a little naive.

I work in a school in an affluent area. I find a lot of them lead very hectic lifestyles - lots of after school activities, weekends busy socialising and lots of school days missed due to frequent holidays. A lot of our parents seem to gather at each other's houses drinking at the weekend while the kids run around. It often creates frazzled children who have had no time to read or do homework except for TT rockstars.
On the other hand we have a lot of children from farms. They are almost always very disciplined and organised. You don't get much more hard working than a farming family but somehow there is time to read, do homework and all the other school admin.

Some things though, like putting reading books back in bags etc I can't understand how that is hard but obviously it is.

If you still don't understand that you obviously haven't been listening.

Child goes to childminder after school then to Dads house then Mum picks them up from there to go to school in the morning, plenty of opportunities for book to be taken out of bag and not put back in then bag goes to next location without book and no one realises.

Child takes book out of bag, they read a few pages, non English speaking parent thinks the book needs to stay at home until fully read. Child despite knowing it should go back to school can't convince them otherwise.

Child takes book home, in the chaos of overcrowding, drug addicted parents, mental illness etc etc no one thinks to put it back in the bag.

OR maybe the parents just don't give a shit.

As a teacher maybe you could try to identify the cannots from the will nots and come up with strategies to help.

One child I know gets sent home with the pages they need to read photocopied out of the book so the book can stay at school.

If some parents want more homework
They can always get their kids to do bbcbitesize, or play chess or something.
At least other kids that can’t fit so much in, through no fault of their own, won’t feel stressed and upset by it.

Move to a less affluent area those parents would let their kids wear odd socks lol. They are high earners and are so stressed at night they are on the Barelo not the homework. I feel so bad for teachers you sound a great one tho setting yourself up for disappointment. Year 1 and 2 are the worst esp the girls.

Beyond reading I don’t see the value in other homework at that age as it ends up being the parents having to do the bulk of the work as most primary children can’t do it independently. My DS is 9 and we occasionally do spellings and he now likes to read independently but the school doesn’t do spelling or maths tests so no need to constantly rote learn late in the evening. Btw I’m a secondary teacher and loathe issuing homework for similar reasons to yours so only give it if absolutely necessary and make sure it’s differentiated by varying levels and quantity.

My DD is in Y3, she is dyslexic and I suspect has ADHD (we’re in the process of getting that assessed) she works very hard at school all day, it takes a lot out of her so when she comes home I let her relax. We read with her everyday, she reads to us, I encourage her to draw and write stories in her free time and from time to time she will do TT rockstars if she feels like it, I don’t push homework anymore, she’s mentally drained at the end of the day and I’d much rather have a pleasant evening enjoying her company than deal with meltdowns over homework.

My year 1 daughter threw an almighty wobbler this morning before school, tipping and scattering the entire contents of her school bag all through the hallway. I did my best to put it all back and get her, older sister and toddler son in the car on time for school. When I got back, I saw the book under the chair. I imagine in a class of 30 there are a fair few reasons why parents are dropping the ball. Cut them some slack and simplify your expectations.

Why not use a book that stays in school and is only used and read in class to focus on the comprehension and then send a different book home to read over a period of time….say 7days ( including a weekend to make allowances for working parents etc ).

Then you’re not sending any books home that are needed in school for tasks.
Plus, kids don’t think reading is always about the minute detail of comprehension exercises…..kids can just enjoy a book for the books sake.

And yet after eight pages of explanations, all you can do is repeat how you think these are basic things that nobody should struggle with. Almost like you're more interested in shaming than listening.

Are you actually kidding? They're not right based on that article.

It clearly says the EEF determine homework reinforces skills and helps pupils by preparing them for their next steps in learning, which is pretty obvious.

And then it says 36% of 1000 parents asked (which is not a majority as a percentage or a significant, or even reasonable sample size) don't think homework is helpful. That doesn't mean they're informed or they've done any research. It just means it's what 360 random parents think without any evidence, a bit like this thread.

Posters might not include reading in their disdain for homework, but reading of the adult population leaves a lot to be desired, as evidenced by poor comprehension on the thread and of 'the research'.

Asking a child to read the same book five times seems like a good way to put them off reading! I read with my kids every day but will only read each school reading book once. They aren't interested in reading it again once we all already know what happens. They love going to the library or the book shop to choose new books though and we enjoy reading a variety of things together. My eldest reads by herself now but sometimes I'll read the same book as her so we can talk about it. Reading should be fun!

Homework is for the pushy parents and is of no benefit to the children. It’s a box ticking exercise. There’s rarely any follow on or purpose with homework, it’s normally a completely stand alone task. It’s also rarely appropriately differentiated.

Spellings, particularly in year 1, are a massive waste of time. We learn to spell through reading. They’re year 1 and can barely read. Why are they trying to spell before they can even read the words!?

Reading is important, but most schools insist on the book being read 2-3 times in school before it’s sent home. I can’t even begin to imagine what this does to the ‘joy of reading’. It’s so pointless and demotivating! Plus they seem to keep them on lower levels for far too long because they need assessing/benchmarking. What happened to just pulling the next level book off the shelf?! My son has just changed schools and they’ve just moved him up a whole year! We were so bored by reading at his old school.

You've forgotten that alot of children are possibly going to.their other parents some nights and the other parent might not be wanting to do the homework.

I respect the job school does but I'm not going to be supplying pencils etc the school I expect them to be provided. I send PE kit but frequently it isn't brought home or gets lost so I'm not supplying even more of it. I can't afford it. I will read and do spellings but beyond that I work full time, my son goes to school till 6pm with after school club so he comes home has his tea and then settles down. He's tired and done enough.

Yes she is, and yes I am, but seriously if you can't manage 5 minutes of homework with a week to do it in, and daily reading set at your child's level and then they end up struggling there was no bad luck involved.

I remember hearing one parent complaining that the school HADN'T reminded parents that they would be selling poppies in week before Remembrance Sunday. She was actually 'how are we supposed to remember everything by ourselves?!'

I think you meant....

I'm lucky my child has no difficulty in school, she is academically able by luck and I'm lucky that she is easy to parent and I haven't had to manage any difficulties.
I recognise that some parents and children have many more challenges in life.

There I have fixed it for you

Agree. When I was at school the only thing my mum had to do was sign letters that came home occasionally, sometimes sending dinner money in with a return slip or something. Even that felt like MY responsibility to get her to do it, and ensure I returned it etc..

I think the world of email and WhatsApp and e-newsletters and teams etc.. just means the children get by-passed and the responsibility falls to the parents.

If i forgot to hand a slip to the teacher then I lost out on the class trip or the school meals or whatever, so I quickly learnt. Today the children are oblivious to all their parents do in the background for school, clubs etc...

I'm personally frazzled!!