Why do some parents not engage with school?! Asking as a teacher!

I despised homework at that age. 3dc, working until 5pm, dc over tired and hungry by the time we were home so food then bed. On earlier work night finishes dc had swimming lessons. We did reading every night at bedtime but all 3 dc on the bed together. Homework, without fail, resulted in at least one dc crying she was stupid. While you think it’s beneficial, I would argue it’s not if the dc feels like crap and it takes 2 hours to write a sentence.

i think family life is complicated. With dd1 i was all over it but with toddler twins as well and dh working away from home, i basically made myself ill. We would often do it at weekends and accepted half a day works be rubbish each weekend. Homework like play a game with your family/go for a walk and find xyz would be so much better.

Homework that needs lots of parental intervention is unrealistic and builds on inequalities.

what impact do you actually think the homework has for 6 year olds?
www.hull.ac.uk/work-with-us/more/media-centre/news/2022/primary-school-children-get-little-academic-benefit-from-homework

As a 70’s kid who went to a school taught reading, writing and arithmetic, religion, art and games, loads of fun, no home work. I became a Millenium Mum who coached my little darling first born and we did everything by the book. I know I grew up happier and more resilient and I think parents care but are tired. Just let the kids have fun. The learning comes after.

We do homework daily though so still doing it on the days I work.

But if you have 2 days off that does make a difference...

This. It feels overwhelming, but we fit in reading most days (extra curricular dependent) and now they are later primary, spelling.

Some parents are a mess and useless to be honest, my brother whom I loved dearly, was not the best with such things. Two of his dc have done well the other not at all.

Maybe I just need to change my attitude and not bother myself.

Half of this sentence is right.

My main issue is time.

Dc has after school care, clubs and extra curricular activities every day after school. Dh and I both work. Once we're home all we have time for is dinner, bath then bed. We do read a story to DC every night at bedtime so they are not exactly missing out.

Homework has to be handed in on Friday morning giving us 4 days to complete it. It's impossible.

Maybe if it was spread from Monday- Monday we might have some free time to complete it at the weekend.

This too for me. I love my children and respect teachers, but sometimes I just forget because I’m so knackered and thinking about a billion other things.

They just prioritise it. I know it's hard, but it depends whether it's a priority or not in your family.

It also depends on the dc, some don't want to read & it's a battle.

Homework for younger kids is silly.

We used to read every night but the school books bored my child. If we recorded anything other than school books in the reading record they complained, so we just didn't bother with it. We knew our child's reading was fine.

Some parents work full time 5 days a week or more, are juggling shifts, other children, a cost of living crisis, worsening mental health (in themselves and their children). There's less family support. Life's a bit shit atm I'm not surprised families are struggling.

Ironic how so many parents on this thread think they are well up on the 'evidence' of limited impact of homework (likely never having actually read any pedagogical research), as they think this supports their argument that it's too much effort check their child is reading

My Ds went to after school club till 6pm. We did not do homework on weeknights in the first few years. He was too tired. My decision and I take responsibility for that.
six years on and he is excelling at school.

Ironically the fact it’s an affluent area possibly means less time as perhaps two full time parents. So kids going to after school club and home late. Then maybe swimming/piano/scouts etc. I agree kids should read every night. I don’t agree with homework or spellings in year 1. Schools should provide stationary and the shoes thing is strange? Never heard of changing shoes at school before. Would slippers do that can stay at school? Or a pair of playground wellies

I don’t know what all the huffing and sighing is about. Do the job, get the salary for the job. How much or little parents engage is by the by.

I think it’s likely a societal problem that needs different approaches than solely blaming parents.

Absolutely & I think it's bizarre to not recognise it's a wider issue.

@Crateoflemsip That is dreadful communication. As a teacher and mum, neither school I am involved with has communication that is that awful!

All the people saying, we don’t want to do projects and craft and what not, OP is asking parents to read. Just read.
Surely that’s not so onerous for the majority of parents (excluding children with SEN, or where parents don’t read or write English well).
All the people saying, ‘there is no benefit to homework at primary level, just reading’…that IS what the OP is asking her parents to do.

Thank you. I honestly feel like I knock my pan in providing reading books, ensuring they are changed every week, listening to their reading, chasing up books which haven't been sent back before giving a new one etc. I always make sure I provide printed homework too.

I knock my pan in doing my job too. Sometimes my clients take what I did and stick it in a drawer. It's what I get paid to do.

Lots of people go to Clarks for their DCs shoes. I personally wouldn't put my DC in £10 shoes, I'd rather have 1 well fitting pair.

We do reading at home, spellings, but we don't do the other sorts of homework. We are far too busy with after school activities. Plus building a pyramid out of cardboard isn't exactly extended learning. School is school and home is home, they spend the majority of their time at school, I'd rather have quality time at home with my children. And them do activities they enjoy and are enrichment.

They’re 5, they don’t need homework they need bath and bed! Unfortunately mine were in wraparound care 7.30/8-6 4-5 days per week at that age and as a single parent it was only me at home, with 2 young children. Lots of weekends they went to their dads who would not support any reading, homework, projects and would regularly not bring back school shoes, book bags, water bottles, would take the letters and newsletters out of their bags so I had no clue what was going on.
My 5 year old was falling asleep in the car on the way home, and I was having to wake them up with enough time to only get dressed and leave.
The number of things schools put on and expect parents to remember is ridiculous, we used to take PE kit in and leave it at school on your peg for half a term before it went home for washing. Now we have to remember indoor kit, outdoor kit, cupcake sale, mufti day, charity something or other, bring a monkey to school.
The “phonics workshops” are put on before any normal job has finished, there seems to be an attitude that there was a stay at home/very part time parent about to participate in/facilitate all manner of last minute dress up days/projects.

YABU about homework! We read with our kids every night but I dont agree with homework at this age. What's the rational for giving the kids homework, aren't they only 5/6?

@Octonaut4Life a parent of a child in my class has 4 children, and is remarkably one of the more engaged set of parents! both parents work FT, and they do reading five times a week. They also have no family support. They just prioritise it. I know it's hard, but it depends whether it's a priority or not in your family. It's great that you do bedtime stories. I'd accept that as a read!