Why do some parents not engage with school?! Asking as a teacher!

Personally we did encourage our child to do homework - but when the teacher gets the spelling wrong (more than once) it does not encourage respect. Also the time allowed was generally far too little, we'd be given 8 spellings to learn by the next day and our child might be doing other things that evening. It was only supposed to take 15 minutes - what a joke.

I do know parents who didnt make an effort and there were varying reasons. For several it was "school didnt do anything for me" so no expectation their children would get anything from it. So they think their children will get more out of playing. Then even in affluent areas there are poor families where they cant always afford lights on and the kids go to bed early to be less cold.

The methods used in primaries when my child was small were not the ones used when we were at school. So when it got onto maths homework we were expected to teach something we didnt know. Those methods didnt suit our child either, they learnt better using older methods. No idea what the current learning fads are but be aware the children's parents may not know them.

Your school need the kids to provide pencils?
DC always had/have correct people kit, uniform etc
We did reading (luckily they found reading enjoyable) but other things like spelling rarely happened. After working full time, DC at child minder until 6. I wasn't going to battle and stress them over homework of an evening. Weekends we do things together as a family and chores. We tried to fit some in, but it doesn't always happen.
In highschool DC now does homework independently and we support if needed and go through it together sometimes.

You're looking at this the wrong way.

There are many ways that parents can and do support their child's learning at home. Talking, reading playing, singing, listening.Taking them to the library, museums, the park, swimming. Providing a good structure and routine to their day. Building confidence, social skills, resilience. Modelling good behaviours Etc etc etc.

What parents shouldn't be doing is teaching the curriculum at home.

If you must have parents read specific books or practice specific spellings, then you need to engage with them. Bring them in to school, show them what you want then to do, and tell them why they need to do it.

Of course, if your rational is "because we've always done it like this" you're not going to convince many parents that it's worth their time and effort.

Keep them at home.

Multiple issues...

My kid hates reading the books sent, he does like to spell out random words so we just do that instead. 6 hours at school is hard for young kids, especially with asc. They just need time to unwind and relax and be kids, play!

Exhausted. Working shifts and co parenting with a 50/50 split makes things even harder. I just want o spend time with my kids not nagging at them.

It's not supporting learning if it's making them hate learning.

I haven't read the whole thread. DD is reception. We get a 'bingo' of 9 activities to complete over a term, that's manageable as most are things we do already e.g. go for an autumn walk, practice your coat, look for the number 2 etc. We read virtually every night, school reading is adding a level to it. Our current reading is a red word ditty sheet of 10 words, a short story book and a ditty book with 3 stories of 3 pages each. I aim for the 10 red words and 1 of the others. She's 5!

I wouldn't do any homework that involved a screen. Send paper home or don't bother. As for reading books, is there really any need to read the same book every day in school and every night at home? Presumably it's a short book so would they read the whole thing ten times? The child must be thoroughly bored of it by Tuesday night. At my kids school they send 2 books home and you keep them for a week. They ask you to read them both 3 times which I've never managed - child just refuses to keep reading the same thing (they've also read it in school 3 times the week before!) but at least you don't have to remember to send it in every single day.

I'm supportive of learning but I really don't see the benefit for a 5 year old of doing more of the same stuff they do in school all day. I minimise their screen time, they don't have their own device and they certainly aren't doing homework on my phone or work laptop. I also don't have a printer. My year one child is starting to read stories independently which is great but if she wants to spend that couple of hours in the evening playing with her sister or jumping off the sofa or doing some cutting and sticking then I wouldn't stop her to make her do school work.

I get what you're saying about schools providing pencils, but that's not on the teacher. It's not fair to say, 'well the school should provide pencils so I won't bother', because that means that the TEACHER has to provide pencils, which they'll have to pay for themselves. The teacher and the institution of the school are not the same thing, and it's not fair to take your frustration with the institution out on someone just trying to do their job.

And yet, parents will still expect their dcs to meet the standard in reading, numeracy etc…

I get what you’re saying about things being hard for everyone. But does it mean we also need to be kind to teachers because they’re working in crap circumstances and let them off the hook re the children achieving appropriate progress aka the teachers not meeting expectations?

Personally I find homework the bain of my life.

The kids are at school long enough (ours are there until 4pm)
They are tired and have had enough.
Im exhausted or am working night shifts and am relying on childcare who won’t do it with them.

I wish school and it’s work would stay there and stop invading home time.

Also please, please stop sending dozens of repetitive emails every week. Keep the communication to only very important messages otherwise it is so easy to miss the one crucial email in an avalanche of “uniform expectations reminder” (yes I know you’ve emailed about it 17 times this term) , “school weekly newsletter”, “school monthly newsletter “, “behaviour expectation reminder”.
and then whoops how come did the parents miss the crucial consent form for a trip? Hopefully you can see how…
I have three stepchildren and my DH counted how many emails the school sent him in one week (22!) When does it become spamming?

My DS school has them stay in at break on Friday to do any unfinished homework. This started in Y3. They get 20 games TTRS, 20 games Spelling Shed and three reads per week of 10-15 mins each.
At first, loads of kids had to stay in. Now it’s barely any!

Why are you sending reminders? Is that also a council policy? You said parents can opt out of homework. It would make more sense to send them a reminder to do that and everyone would be happy. There is absolutely no way I would want my child to do homework or to sit a spelling test every week at that age. I know, as a teacher, you take a lot of work home but it is generally not something which is encouraged in an average workplace. So why would I want to teach my child to do that? School work should be done in school hours. I also don't want to teach my child that reading is homework. Reading is for pleasure.

I'm a teacher. Our children all wear active uniform on PE days - just carried on after Covid and it works really well. Saves ages. Children aren't expected or encouraged to bring in pencils - just makes for arguments and sad children when they get lost.

I hate setting homework but am required to by the school. It's not my job to tell parents what to do in their free time and I'm fully aware children grow up with very different experiences and opportunities. Yes reading of course but I've seen enough volcanoes where a child has had absolutely no input! Better to support the parents who want it with ideas of how to support their child at home.

A lot of countries don't supply pencils for schools and expect children to bring it in.
A lot of people here praise Scandinavian education. In Denmark the child has a pencil case from day one with pencils, colouring pencils, sharpner, eraser, ruler, scissors and glue. Danes don't expect school to provide these things.

When did primary homework become a thing? I never had any, my daughter used to have reading to do, that was it. I’m not convinced there’s any educational advantage to it as it completely relies on parents to oversee it- doesn’t it just emphasise any inequalities? By high school a child might at least have enough independence and reading ability to be able to do homework by themselves.
I used to mark primary school maths homework and the same children would get full marks and the same other children would get poor marks (as there had been no overseeing parent) week after week. So depressing.

They are Y1. Those children weren’t at school during the Covid lockdown 5 years ago….

Maybe it’s time to stop blaming lockdowns right left and centre.
Whilst ignoring Covid that is still very much present.

There is a fair amount of evidence that homework is not valuable for primary age children, and most certainly for lower primary. We do read at home, but books my child picks and for fun. Note that he doesn't actually get homework yet so I am not disengaged as such. But I would be if a 5 year old was getting regular homework. He is exhausted after being on best behaviour and learning all day. Many parents work shifts. Many have other children, and multiple extra curricular activities (far more valuable than homework). I can see so many reasons at the Y1 stage. Now if this was Y8 I would have a different view.

Yes life today is hard for everyone. Everyone is trying to do their jobs, raise their families and get by.

Many posters have slated teachers, one quote that stands out is that teachers are self flagellating perfectionists..that's a lot of animosity towards a teacher trying to do their job.
People are busy and have chosen to opt out for a multitude of reasons, just let the teacher know.

It seems that people believe teachers are judging them which they aren't. They just want the books back to do their job and send them home with the next child. The expectation is that the book will go home in the bag and come back each day, if the teacher knows this can't be done, they'll keep the book in school.

Teachers are normal people with their own children who are exhausted and also hate homework but they know that daily reading is a necessity and they want you to help your child reach their potential while they try to do the same in school.

Everyone just wants the best for the kids. If you can't or choose not to engage with it, just let the teacher know. They might even try to arrange five minutes extra to listen to your child since they know you can't get to it at home. We're all on the same side.

I don’t know but it’s the same at my school. Any parent information meetings are attended by parents of children that don’t need any tips. We recently had a SATS info evening and out of 25 families, only 8 came.

I disagree with parents providing stationery. Our school provides everything.

Come on, you know why. You work with families every day.
We work late, we're all exhausted, kids included. Time is money.
Parents just want an hour to eat and relax with their kids. I'm not stressing over homework.

Also, I would expect school to supply pencils. Surely whoever came up with the idea of small children supplying their own stationery realised by the end of the week that actually, they might need to buy some pens in.

I am so disorganised, I even send mine with a multipack of snacks for the week, and ask teachers for it to live at school. I WILL forget to send a snack every morning.

My kids are now teenagers so no longer relevant but some simple tips that would hopefully reduce the headache for both you OP and the parents:

-keep a box of sharpened and ready to use pencils in the classroom. Get every kid to grab one when needed. Put pencil back in the box afterwards so they don’t go missing. Surely the school can afford pencils ??!
-keep a box of plastic shoe covers for the kids who don’t bring slippers/ change of shoes. Some parents might not be able to afford to buy them or keep replacing things when they go missing. Uniforms are already too expensive as they are. Use plastic covers, no drama.
-send homework on a piece of paper rather than encouraging device use after school. Make homework non -compulsory for primary age children
-reading logs and reading books are just a tickbox exercise for the benefit of ofsted . Families who read with children will continue reading regardless and so logging a book in a notebook is just an added admin task for most. For children whose parents don’t read with them it only adds upset and embarrassment in front of others when their reading log is empty.
I think modern life is stressful enough for families without schools being the source of additional stress and pressure because boxes have to ticked, forms signed, logs updated etc.

So many parents are lazy these days. There are so many excuses but when you have a child you owe them a decent upbringing. Many of them probably can't spell the words.

I worked full time (term time only) with 3 DC, one autistic who school refused, a DH who worked away for much of the week and many Saturdays. My DC were always in school on time (be use they went to before school club) Homework was almost always done (except one Christmas when dyslexic DD was given 10 Christmas word searches to complete and due to family illness we didn't bother - cue her teacher getting very cross with her, and so I paid her autistic brother to complete them in about 1/2 an hour) .I made sure they all knew their spellings for tests. Not easy with two dyslexic DC. We one the Victoria sponge competition at the summer gayer every year (I'm actually quite proud of this).

BUT I can see why parents don't have the time or energy to force over tired DC to do pointless homework. and forget about indoor shoes and pencils (never heard of a school in England asking for parents to provide pencils in primary) - Life is really, really hard for some people, for so many possible reasons.
I'm never going to judge a non perfect parent, even if I managed to ace the primary school years myself. I don't think this is a modern / post Covid thing. Parents have always had to deal with life.