Why do some parents not engage with school?! Asking as a teacher!

We got a message from DC’s school saying new research shows there’s no evidence to show weekly spelling tests help with long term word recognition so spelling tests are being stopped. They are so pointless and awful, could that be a contributing factor to parent reluctance?

For year 1 I'm not sure of the value of homework

I've said this many times - you'd be better off having the kids buy a grade 1 work book, keep it at home and then having the kids do two pages per week for homework. Optionally marked by teacher at the end of term

Teachers literally can't put a step right these days. They are consistently enemy number one online, in the media and in the WhatsApp groups.

There's not enough teachers, they're not doing enough work (too many holidays, school doesn't match work hours), they're sending homework that's unnecessary or too hard, too easy, too much. There's too many notes or there's poor communication. It never ends.

This is the reason why teachers are leaving. There is zero respect or understanding for teachers trying to do their jobs, just like everyone else.

The 'reading affects future outcome'

It doesn't. It did once in the era of social mobility. But now, your future is pretty much down to who your parents are and their wealth.

For the majority of children you can predict their life chances by looking at their parents. There are some exceptions, but fewer as wealth inequality grows.

Social mobility has died and so education doesn't really do anything to improve most poor children's future lives, so how about making their actual childhood one that is enjoyable full of play, adventure, activity and building relationships?

Absolutely no capacity. Homework is cruel!

Me too! Especially the amount of posts we see on here moaning about teachers and schools!

I have a child in year 5 that gets set 5 bits of homework a week. Two of them are timed online reading and TTRS even if they are 1 minute short, they will be kept behind at break time!
none of the other homework is done with traditional pencil and paper which is hugely frustrating, if it was my eldest would engage a lot more. Everything is done online. She reads actual books but that’s now allowed to go towards the reading she has to do on a Chromebook!

My youngest in year 1 gets set weekly spellings, reading and a homework task.
she doesn’t even get given a spelling sheet or a book with them in, it is homework for the parents to go onto the website to find out what this weeks task and spellings are.
My kids are often in after school club until 6pm or at activities. If the homework got set on a bit a paper I know they would get them out their bag to give it a go.
I don’t always engage with the homework as I don’t agree with it all being on technology.
reading book may not be read but other books would.

our school don’t allow ours to bring in their own pencil cases etc. everything is provided. Eldest got into trouble for taking her own in. Yet I know when she goes to high school she will probably struggle as everything has always been provided for her!

as parents feel like we can’t win!

apologies for the spellings/ grammar taken 2 mins out from work to reply. DH and I work full time around each other which makes it more frustrating and we can’t always tell what the other parent has done and we can got 3/4 days without seeing eachother.

All I can say is, as a teacher and a parent, read to your child, especially in the early days and years. Please. The amount of learning they gain from it is huge.

Just curious why don't you write the hours of reading ?

All of those reasons are true.
Theyve also always been there.

It doesn’t explain why things are getting worse now vs a few years ago.

My kids are reception and Yr 3. I don't think they should have homework at this age, they should do self directed play when they are at home, and interact with family. They are both achieving the expected standard so I think there's no need to push them. We do lots of reading, maths, art, music, sport etc at home just not what they're doing in school because they need a break.

@Anonimouze is reading with your child 'work'? When teachers say reading, they don't just mean the reading books from school. More and more parents don't read at ALL with their kids. My DD's teacher was delighted I read bedtime stories with her! So many parents don't.

“It seems that people believe teachers are judging them which they aren't.”

There are threads most days from teachers judging parents and children. I get it, it must be a very hard job.

The increased pressure on parents and on children, and teachers when you look at it, isn’t working.

Are our children really doing better than we were at their age? I’d argue that the mental health crisis and rising SN numbers suggests not.

Are parents doing better? No. In no ways are parents doing better than our parents were when we were kids.

Are teachers doing better? No. They are leaving in droves, they are stressed to hell.

This isn’t working for anyone. But we keep flogging away at this dead horse, whilst parents carry on blaming teachers and teachers blame parents and/or children.

At some point there’ll be a mass awakening and we’ll finally realise that we’re all being played, or just failed.

This make no sense. You don't see the point in homework and want parents to opt out yet you think children will suffer if they don't do it?

The problem is that if you set homework they will do less reading. There's only so much time and energy. Reading is beneficial, homework isn't. It seems to me that homework is counter productive here.

They’re selling stationery to kids who are not infants most likely! I’m another who has never yet had to provide stationery yet and my oldest is year 5.

Our school sounds v different than yours though, I wish ours did indoor shoes and come to school in PE kit. We send our PE kits at the start of each half term and bring them home to wash at the end of the half term! It’s not that gross though as never smelly and barely seems to need a wash (because they’re children not stinky teens), and actually probably saves me washing it weekly. But going to school in PE kit seems so much comfier - I wish our uniform was tracksuit bottoms daily!

How do you know kids aren’t reading at home? Perhaps for some kids it’s blindingly obvious. But DS1 reads for about an hour a day, I just don’t write it in his record thing.

There’s also the kids who refuse to cooperate. One of mine was quite creative at hiding reading books or homework sheets if they didn’t feel like doing the work. My rebellious child turned out ok as they’re now a hospital doctor!

When I started teaching is was much more a case of parents and teachers United to support / educate / encourage / discipline the children.
Now it’s increasingly parents and children United to find as much as possible to be annoyed / anxious / moany at the school about.
@Covidwoes the consent forms thing is mad. I organise lots of events as part of my role and 50% of if is chasing up parents who don’t reply.
If you leave their child off an event there’s hell to pay but they cannot go without parental permission.

When my dd was in year 1 my dh was struggling to survive (literally) due to complications due to covid, he and I were trying to work, keep roof over our head and get food and I had had 3 miscarriages that year...roll on a few years we are back to mostly normal strength and support ing dd. Yabu to not understand that there are a 10000 other factors.

My middle child is ND and makes life a bit of a struggle. Me and my partner likely have ADD/ADHD respectively as well.

With such young children, and with my son especially, I have watched them come home from school so tired. I haven't wanted to push them further as I have a personal belief that we start formal schooling too young in England.

So it's a combination for me of barriers and active choice.

I would never want to not send my child in with their equipment though, that's different for me. I drag myself to the kitchen at night or early in the morning to make sure bags are packed. If things are missing it's just a genuine mistake.

I support with homework and reading but do use my personally judgement when not to force dc1 to do it as sometimes it’s not worth it (asd).

When it come to indoor shoes, my dc school ask for wellies and full waterproofs which I’m getting lax with, as dc never wear them and after 2 year of them being unworn and my child coming home soaking wet. Yes I asked why they’re not wearing the wellies/ waterproof and get told they weren’t allowed to put them on. Yes I checked with TA who admitted that there was no time in the school day to actually let the children get them on.

I have to say I’m quite shocked by the answers on this thread.
My dcs are much older (Theyre at Uni now) but you’d never have seen a thread like this before.
Taking the risk of looking like an old grumpy woman, ‘in my time’ (very tongue in cheek! 😜😜) there was no discussion on how tired parents were after a full day at work so there was no way they could make the dcs read. Or re spellings.

fwiw having had a child who struggled with reading and writing/spelling, doing some homework/extra work, 10mins a day, never more, made a huge difference to him.

My child behaves beautifully at school, but really does not respond well to tasks at home. Reading is simply not worth my time and energy, and I don't have much going spare. I'm not a teacher, Im not as native speaker of the language she's learning in. Maths I can help with and I do. We try and pack the bag the night before, but they often change the library day without telling us. I only check the app once a week now because I was getting stressed by constant notifications about stuff that didn't matter.

Wow! How times have changed. I remember the excitement of my girls when we used to shop for their pencil cases and stationary. Sometimes they would save their pocket money even. We would practice maths skills by working out how much they had in pocket money and change from that.

It was the same for me at school. I’m only early 40’s by the way and my children are early 20’s/ late teens.
I would much rather the school spends money toward educational trips or other resources for the children.

What a shame that it’s come to this in society. I can understand if parents re in low income however and cannot afford the basics.
I would also read and we would do spelling and numbers just once a week.

The amount of mumsnetters moaning about schools on here and yet the amount of posts advising this teacher is unreasonable?

I’ve got teens and primary age kids. I was far more engaged with homework when I could fish a sheet out of their bags. Now I have to log into an app, find the files, they don’t open properly, my printer won’t connect to print them, etc etc. I have to use my work laptop as other than that just have a phone which is useless for online homework. There are too many barriers.

I’d also say that now I’m mid a levels with my eldest, the importance of learning this week’s spellings with the youngest seems diminished somewhat. If they enjoy learning and going to school each day at primary age then I’m happy.