Why do some parents not engage with school?! Asking as a teacher!

A lot of people might. Many of them will be teachers, whose efforts to support other people's kids are thwarted by disdainful attitudes to education.

My DC is in year 1 and they get homework on a Thursday to do over the weekend then bring books back in on a Monday, and generally this allows us enough time to do it.

If homework was set during the week, I imagine it would not get done because DC is in wrap around 4 days a week so often only has an hour or just over at home on an evening before bed. Needs supper, bath and bed in that time, and it's only a small amount of quality time I get with her. She's often so tired it's a struggle to even do bedtime let alone homework! Even if she wasn't tired I'd probably not do it because I'd feel like down time would be more important at this point, but I'd not dream of leaving it without explaining this to the teacher to say why. (This is hypothetical as homework is never due in before the weekend).

Ex teacher (ish)

I don’t agree with homework at such a young age, spelling tests in Year 1 is just too much.
We’ve always read daily.

And yet a lot of parents do much more than 30 hours a week. And 30 hours can leave you exhausted to death if you have a diagnosis. A lot of people struggle and you wouldn't know.

If this is the general, selfish attitude of parents today, then there's no hope of ever raising standards or bringing about improvement.

I'd you accept you feed, clothe and house your kids so as not to be neglectful, you should take some interest in their learning as part of actually bringing them up.

Actually my DD was at private school and yes we had to provid their pens, pencils, ruler, rubber, Pritt Stick etc. I must admit I was a bit shocked, but then I remember I bought pens, pencils, ruler, rubber when I was at secondary school back in the 60's (grammar if it makes a difference). School provided the glue - it was in big white bottles, I do remember that

How about school work is kept in school and home is for home life.

All this obligatory parental involvement only exacerbates inequality between parents who can help and parents who can't or won't.

When both parents work these days so much more is expected than was of my parents when I was at school and it's ridiculous. I tried to instil a love of books and learning in my DDs but all the obligatory tick box reading records and excessive homework killed it.

A lot of parents work and by the time they get home the last thing they want to do is to do homework with their children, also if it’s like 6/7pm, then children will be tired and won’t want to do homework!

With regard! You are a teacher!

It's children who are already disadvantaged who need to do preview / recall / consolidation that homework is designed for, on order to keep up with others and ensure there isn't a gap in performance and opportunity.

The gap exists because the parents of those children do not do this for myriad reasons. It was ever thus

Im still reeling about the pencils tbh op. Is this a state school in uk? Our school doesn't have much money (v low pupil premium etc) and we have honestly never ever been short on pencils/pens.

It was literally you who earlier said 'Many parents do not have an education themselves and lack an overview of the school system.'. Yet you talked confidently about something you had a basic misconception of.

It's children who are already disadvantaged who need to do preview / recall / consolidation that homework is designed for, in* order to keep up with others and ensure there isn't a gap in performance and opportunity. Teachers aren't doing this to other adults who are tired after only 30 (a number I keep seeing) hours of work a week and the choice to be a parent. It's for those children.

Yes we don't do spellings when asked to, unless the kids suggest it. Our school has a system of sending the reading books home every week, we leave them in the kids' bags unless they want to read them. We're led by our children, there is nothing to be gained by pressuring a 4 and 7 year old to do more formal learning at home.

Still be prepared to pay for your education in England. It's not easy for a lot of young people and families. Quite easy to work out the pupils have the best chance in a primary or secondary class to be succesfull.

This is the sign of a teacher who cares. There are very few of them left and we need to hang on to them. No wonder they are leaving in droves, it must feel like carrying leaky buckets up a hill - pointless.

I have been astounded at the amount of people who can't spare just 5 minutes to hear their children read and before you all pile in I had a commute of an hour and twenty minutes and I manged to do it. It's 5 minutes

People wonder why kids are disengaged, well the apple doesn't fall far from the tree

Year 3s. Hardly any of them read at home. We ask for one signature per read (5 a week).

I stopped writing in reading records when the school:

• stopped hearing any children (other than a small group of the most struggling) read individually in school at all, even reception
• stopped writing anything at all in records
• put whole class on same level and didn't change it for two terms
• never responded at all to anything i wrote.

My DC read every day I am not wasting my time signing a reading journal no one looks at so that the school can claim they engage with parents when its totally one sided.

I have a lot of respect for teachers but in year 1, other than reading dc were absolutely not doing homework. Year 4, I made them log onto the websites requested by the school as they had settled into school by then. I honestly think year 1 is a little young to be given homework.

But that isn't further education.

You know as well as me I was talking about university.

I know you say it's just 10 mins but if someone has a busy day, gets home late, cooks dinner and then had to do everything else ... its too much.

2 pages of maths in y1 also sounds a bit much for a lot of kids/families. I did it when my kids were little but I wasnt a single parent working as many hours then.

I don’t think exhaustion is an excuse. I was a single parent, worked 30 hours, yes I was exhausted but I was not too tired to make sure that the kids had what they need. I was never too tired to chat to the teachers when there was something that I knew we could both contribute towards. I also joined the PTA and saw how hard it was to engage parents - I guess our parents held education to a higher standard whereas now as parents, it’s about experiences, winding down and education isn’t the be all. Plus in the UK I find that there is a movement against education - maybe because it’s free?

My mum was a single mum, worked 2 jobs, 2 kids that she had to raise for over a decade - primary through to secondary - didn’t have amazing English but always made sure we had what we needed for school, bought revision books etc. I’m sure she was exhausted.

Yes I’ve had nights where I’ve been exhausted and had a cheat meal. Yes I’ve had weekends where we’ve slept in and been lazy. Yes the house doesn’t look perfect - but I personally value education - in all its form, and hope my children see themselves as lifelong learners (not necessarily academia)I have a theory.

I posted about the parenting crisis. We talk a lot about how social media is bad for kids, but I know that there must be parents hooked on social media who get sucked in. That 1 hour that my mum would have had in the 90s is replaced by an hour of IG or Twitter.

I’ve done it before. I remember spending 3 hours on TikTok, as a single mum, by the time I looked up the sun had set and I was shocked at how much time had passed. I deleted the app. Haven’t looked back.

Id love to explore how smart phones affect parenting.

YABU

Why on earth are you giving 6 year olds homework? No wonder they're not engaging with you. Thankfully homework in primary school is not compulsory, and I don't blame parents for not enforcing unnecessary homework.

Homework encroaches on quality family time.

You say the school is in an affluent area, so it's likely that many parents will be working in careers that require long hours. They may not get home until 7pm in the evening after a day's work and commute. They need to have dinner and have some rest time. Some parents barely get to see their children after work, some not at all. Shame on you for giving and expecting homework for bloody SIX year olds. And by the way, I used to be a teacher, just one who had also worked in the real world too, so understood that there is more to life than school.

These days parents get absolutely bombarded with shit from schools, constant emails, this and that, parents almost need a bloody PA just to manage the shit from schools. It's ridiculous, well done for those that have a bloody life and don't engage with this shit.

And as for cheap shoes, no way I'd put my child in cheap shoes that'll wreck their feet!

It absolutely does. You are training learning "muscles" essentially. It is ridiculous that parents do not "believe" in homework.

Further education doesn't have fees any more then primary or secondary. Higher education, perhaps?

Or maybe parents know everything and teachers nothing.

We do the homework but it feels pointless. Reading records aren't checked from one week to the next, she might read with a TA once a month in class. Half term project is a pain and the same sodding parents come in with a tableaux of Henry VIII's court/a pyramid/the evacuation of children in WW2/what ever it is and we've managed to make a shit poster because we've worked all half term and had no time. Spellings and maths are online which is fine once I've logged in but then DD can't seem to translate what she does in that homework to actual writing or maths and I can't say there's much improvement whenever I look at her school books.

All this while I'm knackered from work, dealing with preschooler DS, trying to make a half healthy dinner, knocking up a costume for world book day, finding £1 for the latest charity donation...