Why do some parents not engage with school?! Asking as a teacher!

RTFT. My error.

Like most full time working parents, I’m totally exhausted when I pick up my DC at 6pm, and so are my kids. After snack, TV, shower, my Y1 has daily spelling and maths on Doodle app, writing practice, trying to learn common exception words, a bit of times tables, reading and then me reading to him. I also have an older child with a similar work load and 11plus tutor homework. I do it but it can take an hour every night. I could cry with exhaustion and by Friday, I think F it.

I feel under pressure from the school, other parents and my DH to do this and at 7pm, it’s the last thing I would rather be doing!

I only had reading and spelling when I was in primary. Schools are asking too much.

I wasn’t aware of very much research on it tbh
Ive read the piece by Lecturer at Hull Uni of course

It’s a bit mixed
Good in some ways but not in all basically. Seems very much against the very young.

I think its RTFT - read the full thread

Because they are 6/7 years old and expecting them to do homework is ridiculous? Parents are working full time and trying to keep a roof over their heads and a million demands from school are not top priority?
I spend a lot of time teaching high level leaders about work life balance, most organisations recognise the importance of avoiding presenteeism, and strive to prevent staff having to work outside of the working day so they can recharge and have a work life balance in order to thrive at work. Yet…..we drum it into kids from age 5 that they must take work home, work outside of normal hours if they want to succeed and ‘be good’. They have to unlearn that as adults. Bonkers.

What’s TRFT

Not TRFT but the OP may be tied by a school policy that requires HW to be set on top of reading.

Evidence only shows benefit in secondary school.

Is age 9 considered young to get used to doing homework ?
OP is giving it to much younger kids

I don't subscribe to this idea that younger kids need to learn to do homework. It seems more like a developmental stage thing, and not something you should push early.

I'm not convinced that getting a good education means doing spelling lists. Most homework seems to be "busy work" that does not really add value. Overloading kids with pointless tasks that don't engage them is a great way to put them off education.

Exactly. And no, home school is a luxury few can afford. I wouldn't mind doing it, but I have to work.

Organizing suggestion:

Set up an email that is ONLY used for your child/children. I started mine 5 yrs ago.
Its only for

school
Clubs/sports

Dont use for:
parent contact list (school parents are worst for sharing your emails without asking !)
Dont use this email buying stuff, loyalty cards or anything that gets junk mail.

Since doing this kids school related stuff doesn’t get lost in my emails.

👏👏👏👏 absolutely agree

Not saying this is the case for those not providing shoes, but if you want your child wearing good quality shoes, as they are in them all day, and want foot shaped/barefoot shoes not all the thick tapered ones that are cheap you are definitely looking at £70

I don't engage with homework for primary school, for a number of reasons, I find it hard to find the time to help them, it has been shown to have little to no benefit for primary aged children, we have after-school clubs they enjoy that take priority, they deserve down time, I wouldn't do work at home either. I will however so my best to ensure they read every day and practice timetables. But I won't always write in the book because I forget. I will provide what they need though and make sure as best I can that they have everything they need.

Over the thread there also seems to be a lack of empathy from Teachers that sometimes its not just the kids with SEN and disabilities.. sometimes its also the parents.

My kids school i have to keep track of Facebook, instagram, my emails, 3 apps, 2 websites, text messages and check her bag for letters... they all support different things the school needs from me. DD has another 3 on top of that.
My ADHD can't do it, it can't.

IF anything, i would give my right arm for ONE PORTAL THAT DOES IT ALL for parent AND child.

For the love of god PLEASE.... Communication home, homework, tracking attendence/behaviour. All in ONE PLACE. just stick to ONE THING

The reality is teachers can not continue to tackle issues of parental disengagement; they are not social workers, nor are they trained to control classrooms with angry, violent children. They can not effectively teach a syllabus/curriculum to a full class if it includes disengaged, disruptive children. They are not trained to educate classes containing high and varying levels of SEN. This is just the truth, it is simply not part of current University teacher training. Whether teacher training needs to change is one question, but it would attract a different kind of person and actually is this right anyway.
I do have empathy for many parents struggling and needing more help of various kinds, particularly those with SEN and or disabled children. Apart from this, I do think parents need to prioritise helping their own children with their individual educational journeys.
Schools do need to get their communications simplified and activities should not go ahead without direct to parent communication offering plenty of time. They need to work with parents and stop being political.

its my fault it strayed.

However, as a parent who is also a qualified TA for nursery/reception age kids (which is the age in question) but who has her own kids in GCSE/College time of life, the point i'm making is that the crap the schools start with homework, apps, and requests of parents time outside school hours is the thin end of the wedge.

They start small, then as your kids go through school they expect more and more input from parents, more and more time, more and more homework is set that really, is parents homework, not the kids.. make this, wear this, bring this, buy that.

Then someone like the OP comes on and asks why some parents don't engage... because we likely have older kids, learned the hard way, and know its bullshit.

This. My kids all have really wide feet so cheap shoes weren't an option. Having shelled out £50 each for a proper pair of shoes they would not be wearing "indoor shoes", whatever they are. Why is the school so stupidly muddy? Sort that out then your cleaners won't have a problem.

I started school in the late 60s. The only involvement my parents had with school was once a year parents evening and a nativity play. I first had homework at age 11 and they didn't get involved with that either.

My elder 4 DC started school in the 90s. Reading with all of them but nothing else.

Youngest started school in 2011, still only reading homework before Y3, but we did have to provide everything by then and the wear a yellow T shirt tomorrow and bring in a scale model of a castle by Thursday was always frustrating. Thank goodness for a local Asda and Sainsburys.

I think we're straying a bit far here. A 5-6 year old is 10 years away from GCSEs. They've spent an initial 5-6 years learning to walk, talk, feed themselves, be away from mummy, put their shoes and coat on, write, read, add up etc. Looks like the thoughts are that it will twice at long as that studying at home and taking exams to get used to those two things before GCSE.

What many parents have said is that these 5-6yo kids are very very little. It looks like there should be plenty of time in the 5 years of secondary for independent home learning and exam skills. It would be more valuable if primary schools would focus on the basics of knowledge, social skills, confidence, and instilling a love of learning rather than the reverse.

This thread has made me decide to do less homework actually, I'm sick of wasting so much weekend time with a sad kid who should be having fun. I'll do one hour plus reading each week with him from now on, that is all. If too much is sent that can't be finished then so be it.

Something that would really help - all the dates being shared in an ical file as a standard thing

There's a pdf on the website, and emails, but an ical would really help most of us!

My cousins children all found it very stressful. One couldn’t even cope with the idea of those individual desks in a big hall.
It seems unfair they can’t get used to this before it’s a really big exam ie mocks or/ and GCSEs

@Stirabout @WinterBones

We were the only school (not private just girls grammar) that did two lots of exams, but all the other schools in our area had yearly exams. I thought it benefitted us at the time but it would seem it's not seen as being beneficial.

Now I think of it DD2 did course work and were graded on that.

It must come as a bit of a shock when children sit their first real exams