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AIBU?

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Original poster

To have kicked MIL out over baby’s name?

238 replies

kritzkreig · 26/02/2025 18:42

Posting here because I need to know if I was totally out of order or if MIL has just lost the plot.

DH and I recently had our beautiful baby girl. We chose a name we both absolutely love – it’s classic, not too common, and has a lovely meaning. MIL has never been my biggest fan, but I thought she’d at least be happy for us. Well, apparently not.

She came over to meet DD for the first time, and within minutes of hearing her name, she started pulling faces. I tried to ignore it, but then she actually laughed and said, “Oh, you’re joking, right? That’s awful.” Then she went on and on about how we should have chosen something more ‘normal’ and how she won’t be telling her friends because she’s ‘too embarrassed.’

I saw red. I told her if she couldn’t be respectful, she could leave. She doubled down, saying she was just being honest and that DD would hate us for giving her a ‘ridiculous’ name. At this point, DH told her she needed to go. She stormed out, and now we’re getting passive-aggressive texts about how we’ve ‘excluded’ her from her granddaughter’s life.

AIBU to have kicked her out? I get that not everyone will love the name, but to actually laugh in our faces and say she’s embarrassed by her own granddaughter’s name? DH is completely on my side, but SIL says we overreacted and should have just ignored her.

Would love to know what the MN jury thinks.

OP posts:
Alalalala · 26/02/2025 18:58

The name is irrelevant.

I quite like Ermintrude

Purpleavocado · 26/02/2025 18:57

She sounds awful! I wish I could tell my MIL to piss off at times.

LadyKenya · 26/02/2025 18:57

GlitteryUnicornSparkles · 26/02/2025 18:56

I need to know the name!

Get in the queue. I have a feeling it will be a very long wait!

Showerflowers · 26/02/2025 18:57

I've got lots of grandkids. There's at least two whose name I didn't particularly like but it's not my business so I kept my gob shut.

I cannot imagine ruining that precious time when you get to finally meet your little grandchild. She's a cow.

GlitteryUnicornSparkles · 26/02/2025 18:56

I need to know the name!

EasyPeelings · 26/02/2025 18:56

Your mil is very rude and unkind to have criticised your daughter's name like she did. OK so it's not a name she would ever have picked but she needs to remind herself that this is your daughter, not hers.

Fwiw, I had several funny looks from people when I told them what I'd named my baby daughter, 40 years ago. It was a name that at the time was deeply out of fashion, but I loved it and wanted it for my little girl. Over the years, the name gradually crept up the charts and became very popular by the time DD was in her 20s. Yours may well do the same. Maybe, like me, you're just a bit ahead of the crowd!

TommyShelbysRazor · 26/02/2025 18:55

Unless you called the kid Ermintrude, I'd have also told her to fuck off mind her own business. She was rude and unnecessary. She should have kept her unwanted opinions to herself.

(Absolutely marking a place for the name reveal)

TheLightSideOfTheMoon · 26/02/2025 18:55

Even if the name is horrendous you put on your game face and say how beautiful it is.

That’s just being polite.

YouveGotAFastCar · 26/02/2025 18:55

Mine did this. It got worse from there. You weren’t unreasonable to ask her to leave and I’d now leave it entirely until she contacts either of you and then get DH to make it very clear that her opinions on your child are unwelcome and there won’t be contact if she can’t keep them to herself. I wish we had!

ChorusOfDisapproval · 26/02/2025 18:55

She's incredibly rude and ignorant. Even if it's the worst name in the world, it's none of her business.

Congratulations by the way!

GrumpyFrownFace · 26/02/2025 18:55

Good for you! I wish I'd done the same - when I told DM my DC's name, she sneered and said the only people she knew with that name were in prison.

AcquadiP · 26/02/2025 18:54

Oh, I do love it when people use the term 'normal'. What does that mean? As it's a classical name, it's perfectly 'normal'. Your DD's name is your choice, not hers. Your MIL was extremely rude and your DH is in your corner, I'd let her stew.

LadyKenya · 26/02/2025 18:54

What is the name?

Blarn · 26/02/2025 18:54

Yes,we need the name.

But I wish I had been firmer with my mum who when she found out dd1s name said she didn't like it, I should change it, sent me an email (an email!) about how awful it was, I'd regret it, couldnt beleive I had chosen it. Classic, flower-name, not at all unusual, there is another one in dd's year. She got over it but I should have said how upsetting I found it.

Good for you and your dh, OP, for setting her straight.

harriethoyle · 26/02/2025 18:53

I think you went a bit too nuclear but I don’t think you were unreasonable to shut her down on your child’s name. Unless it is poopy pants 🤣

TheLightSideOfTheMoon · 26/02/2025 18:53

She has no manners.

I’d keep her away, your DD doesn’t need someone like that as a role model.

You did exactly the right thing. You protected your child.

GoodVibesHere · 26/02/2025 18:53

sageforthevibes · 26/02/2025 18:51

Ah yes, a well-known classic, not too common name with a lovely meaning

Show quote history

OK fair enough but how about Fanny? That's a classic name perhaps.

Gymmum82 · 26/02/2025 18:53

Unless is Neveah then she’s probably correct

LakieLady · 26/02/2025 18:52

Even if her opinion is justified, she should have kept it to herself.

OurFlagMeansAfternoonTea · 26/02/2025 18:51

As usual it depends on the name. Is it something old fashioned, but a bit trendy, like Edith? Maybe she really is trying to save her from something awful.

I remember when David Cameron had her daughter and called her Florence. MIL said it was awful and old fashioned and the girl would suffer. I told her that it was really trendy again. Remember when Ruby was suddenly all the rage in around 2000? Older people would have considered it old fashioned.

sageforthevibes · 26/02/2025 18:51

GoodVibesHere · 26/02/2025 18:50

It totally depends on the name, because for all we know you've named your baby 'poopy-pants the third' in which case your MIL is right to speak up to protect your DD from a lifetime of being laughed at.

Ah yes, a well-known classic, not too common name with a lovely meaning

Snorlaxo · 26/02/2025 18:51

YANBU and I’m pleased to see that your h is sticking up for your daughter too. While it may not be a name that she would have picked, it’s your daughter’s name and your MIL needs to get over herself.

Mabelflo · 26/02/2025 18:50

Depends on the name, impossible to say if she actually had a point about the child hating you for the name without knowing what it is.

GoodVibesHere · 26/02/2025 18:50

It totally depends on the name, because for all we know you've named your baby 'poopy-pants the third' in which case your MIL is right to speak up to protect your DD from a lifetime of being laughed at.

OkayLetMeKnowHowItGoes · 26/02/2025 18:50

I’m with you 100%. It doesn’t sound like MIL would be a positive influence in your DDs life.