Interview question

I go to great lengths in job interviews to not mention my child and that I'm a lone parent. I shouldn't have to but I know discrimination happens so I'm not going to give anyone the opportunity to us this against me.

Questions about your interests, hobbies, how you like to spend your time outside can all be used to find out this information so I am as vague as possible. E.g. watching my child's sports team becomes: I enjoy spending time outdoors and time with family and friends. If necessary to elaborate I am vague about walking and visiting local attractions (not mentioning any child focused ones)

They're not allowed to ask stuff like that. 'how would you handle the school holidays'.
You should reply with 'the same way you do presumably?'
Or 'well, I haven't attended school for twenty four years so I don't see the relevance of the question.'
He sounds a sexist bumhole.

I'm not surprised you're angry. In fact I'm really glad you're angry because I am so angry for you!!! I work in the NHS and the interview questions are always standardised and this type of question would never be asked (not in my department anyway). I'd be giving the job a hard pass if they offer you it. I hope they do offer you it and you tell them to f**k off and let them know why.

You're not supposed to hide the fact you have children, no. But what's the relevance in a job interview? And you brought it up first

If you mentioned that in your cover letter applying for a job in my team, the HR team would have to redact the information before I even saw your application, so it certainly wouldn't make things any easier for the employer.

Plus, as a recruiting manager I really don't want to know what caring responsibilities you have when I interview you. I want to offer the job to the most able candidate regardless of their personal circumstances; I'm not going to discriminate on the basis of who has caring responsibilities or not. If someone who is the single parent of a four-year-old and they give the best interview, I'm not going to pick someone else over them just because their kids are older or they have a partner to share childcare with. I wouldn't ever want caring responsibilities to disadvantage anyone I interview.

Because I'm in Germany and I had been fired for being pregnant even though it's illegal.

30 years ago German employers were even more sexist 5han they are now so I wanted to head them off at the pass. I'd already decided that I didn't want to work there anyway

You don't need to 'hide' it but I certainly wouldn't proactively bring it up. Your home life isn't what a job interview is about.

Why did you feel the need to mention it in your application?
In all my working life i never felt the need to disclose whether or not i had children

It is not illegal to ask. It may be discriminatory if they did not ask everyone. It is illegal to make decisions based on the answer. in reality though how you would prove all that I dont know. What I would say is that I would NEVER ask that question as it is none of the companies business, man or woman. As long as you know the working pattern it is up to you how you handle it, and in reality I doubt they would have asked a man. i would not be working for a company that asked that question at interview as it indicates what they are like culturally, but you may not have that luxury. i would be withdrawing and I would be clear about why but then i am an HR Director and sadly may be easier for me to do that.

frankly? yes. Don't mention it, don't bring it up and if they ask you why you want those hours obfuscate.

ah you sweet summer child.

I was at a panel interview once. 9 candidates, 9 people of various seniority from the company. I was the only woman. I had 2 DC and my DH was going to take paternity leave as soon as i got a job. All this made clear in my application.

Other people there included 3 men (I know because we chatted during a coffee break, and one mentioned it to the panel) with children of similar age. And how many times do you think any of them were asked about that? Every 2nd question that came my way, despite me telling the first one my DH was taking over, was about my childcare arrangements and what I'd do if one got sick.

After about 90 minutes of this i just stood up and told them they were wasting my time with their sexist and illegal questions and left them spluttering in my wake.

Good luck OP. It still goes on.

You should be angry about it. We all should but these things still go on all the time. Pregnant then screwed happens to most of us at some point. How many of us have dumbed down our jobs in order to go part time so we can juggle being a mum and earning money? How many of us have been sacked when telling a company we are pregnant? How many of us have been made redundant on maternity leave after having part time hours refused? If you are angry enough, report the company. There are laws about discrimination against women. If they promoted the job as suitable for a parent they shouldn't be asking you about school holidays. It has fuck all to do with them how you are going to cover childcare.

No reason not to mention it once you've started the job, why wouldnt you if it comes up in conversation. Ime thats a pretty basic getting to know you subject although I have reads threads on here where posters think it's inappropriate to bring it up

it’s not something you should hide. I’m not saying it’s anything you should hide as a fellow single mother. I totally understand but it’s not something that’s worth mentioning in an interview. It has absolutely no bearing on the job. You mention it when you start work and people start getting to know you. It’s a matter of fact you’re a single mother it has no bearing whatsoever you’re right, but you made it a topic of conversation by mentioning it in your interview.

No you're not silly. I would be annoyed at this question and it would put me off working for the company!

Your mistake was mentioning that you were a single parent that has nothing to do with job. So you let them to think that it was up for discussion…

You weren't asked because you are a woman
You were asked because you told them you were a single parent. You must have thought it was relevant so why is it OK for you to think it's relevant but not them

Why do you think your employer needs to know?

You have a work life and a home life.

The basic expectation for the employee is that they will have arranged their personal life such that they can turn up and do the job and go home.

You are not a mother in work you are a worker.

Prior to mothers going into paid employment their job was unpaid child care provider.

Then the expectation was that you will have located and paid a child care provider to take over your old "job" and an employer has no need to become involved in your domestic arrangements.

So just like the new job has no need to hear about how you did your last job unless its relevant to the new role, they dont need to hear about your unpaid jobs, your hobbies or your holidays etc. So is single motherhood relevant if you can turn up and do your job and go home just like any other employee?

Due to the fact that women now fully participate in the paid workforce and that some of them have babies society have adjusted the expectation of how employers should deal with that domestic matter. But a employee with no family or hobbies or non-work life is a more flexable one that a single parent.

We recognise that babies and well adjusted children are a social good and workplaces which are able to adjust to the needs are generally better workplaces.

End of the day the employer needs to treat all candidates the same and you took offence at the CEO bringing it up. (And you dont know if existing workers are allowed adust work days over the school holidays.)

Yes. Your children or lack of them is an irrelevance in a job interview (I mean, it isn't but you know what I mean)

Just don't mention kids again in potential future interviews as there's no need. You have it covered anyway

They can ask - perfectly within their rights to. However they have to show they have treated every candidate the same whether male or female. So provided they ask everyone it's fine.

You shouldn't have to, but I wouldn't mention about children in the future. It has no relevance to a job anyway (unless in certain sectors).

I don’t think it’s illegal to ask. They cannot ask if you have children but you had already volunteered that information.

It’s also probably safe for them to assume that anyone applying for a job that is school hours will have children (unless it’s an obviously older person who might be looking to wind down to retirement).

And for that reason … I don’t think you are being reasonable to assume that the question wouldn’t have been asked of a man. If a man were applying for a school hours job, it’s quite possible that he is the main parent (either a single parent or with a wife who works much longer hours).

In practice, and all else seems equal, many employers will choose the child-free, though not many will admit it

As for the questions, it depends if they already knew you have DCs. They're not supposed to ask whether you do, and certainly not if you plan any more, but if they're already aware questions based on business need are permissible

The kicker is that, in order to avoid discriminating, they'd also need to ask a male candidate the same questions, and opinions on whether they're likely to do that will differ