leaving children & step children our house in our will.

This is what I have planned too, regarding my house, except my DP paid towards some renovations.

We have worked out the percentage we paid each, his DC’s then benefit from the same percentage rise in the value, since the price pre renovation.

We also have a cash amount (%) to all of the DC’s, his and mine, a larger percentage going to our own DC’s than the step DC’s.

Grandchildren, we have made a small cash bequest, the same for all, regardless of blood links…just because we both love them all!

What about his money?
I get you might not want them to have yours but does he not have "30 years worth of savings" from before he met you which he can leave to them?
Why does his share have to go to the cats' home or wherever?

Similar situation. We've agreed, seen a solicitor and left anything left after care home fees, to our choice of charity. No way are his kids, who I've met twice in twenty years (their choice and they simply wanted money) getting their hands on the 30+ years of my earnings/savings before we met.

Tbh I think this is something you should have talked about before or when you got married.

But your children should inherit from you and their father.

If you are in your husband's will and he dies before you, you will inherit from him then when you die your children will inherit your share of his estate

I don't understand why they need to inherit more than that?

if this is the case, sit down and discuss. If he died without a will, you are taking it all anyway;

and that is the kids inheritance really fucked up.

Op it's not a nice situation to be in. Me and my husband have 5 children between us; 3 are mine, 1 is his and 1 is both of ours. We've already decided that everything will be shared equally between the 5 of them because otherwise it could get very messy, he's also taken on the father role to my children as their father isn't and never will be involved. It would be nice of him to share with your children but I suppose he doesn't have to.

No and it doesn't sound like OP does either.

Did your step parent have joint children with your biological parent? That changes things

Your DH had fully paid off the house long before you married, I can't see how that entitles your DC to anything from his house.

Your DH has made adequate provision for you, which is absolutely right, given the circumstances. You and your DC's Dad now need to make provision for your DC, and not rely on your DH who isn't related to them.

I think he should be leaving it to his children. If it was the other way around you might feel differently about giving a chunk of your house to his children. And your children have their own dad.

Maybe you could have some agreement in place that you live in the house, if he dies first.

What's the plan for if, as is likely, he dies before you, OP? Will you have half your joint estate? Is his plan to leave you a life interest in the house but then it goes to his children? Or is he planning to make you homeless?

I understand why people seem to be taking the stand that he gets to keep what he had before you got together. But that's neither entirely fair given the way you are supporting him, nor the way the law sees it.

If you can reasonably afford it, you might want to look at a session with a lawyer who specialises in estate planning and family law. Ask them what you would be reasonably entitled to expect from a will (I believe if he doesn't leave you as much as you could expect from a divorce, you will have good grounds to challenge it). And what might be reasonable ways of working out how to split the estate fairly (which I think would depend a lot of how old you are, what the age gap is between you and what all the assets involved are worth). Then you'll have some ideas for tackling the conversation with your DH.

I am a step child in a similar situation and it has never crossed my mind that my step-parent's house would go anywhere but to his own children. What an utterly bizarre thing to expect your kids to benefit from your husband's assets. You should make your own arrangements and so should their dad. It's not your husband's responsibility at all.

You don't pay for "all of that" on top of rent though. Repairs, improvements etc are up to the landlord surely? I'd pay to repair something if I broke it, but Repairs due to general wear and tear are down to my landlord.

If you got your house for free (!) and you don't think that's quite enough, "money grabbing" is the phrase that comes to mind, quite frankly.

She would be better off divorcing if she wanted to secure more of the assets to leave her children that’s completely correct.

That’s the thing isn’t it by law a divorce everything is considered ready to be split. In death it’s the will unless you contest and even then you might not get what you think you should. If he can show his been continuing to support his children now adults with regular cash gifts and or bill paying etc he can show his supporting them much like his wife and then this whole thing gets dragged out possibly eating on the whole estate.

I’m not “riled up” at all. Death and divorce are totally different things so your analogy simply doesn’t work.

@GingerStephenson do you have any shared children with your dh? That will also be a factor.

Because she does. She has contributed to the marriage. Just because it gets you riled up is irrelevant.

if she was to divorce him now she would have a financial claim to the house. A good solicitor would argue for half. Plus lawyers fees and the kids will have to eat dust as an alternative to an inheritance when his assets are taken for care fees. Its also not an inheritance as he’s not dead. Also no one has a right to other people’s assets other than a legal spouse (husband/wife) in the UK.

If you leave now, who’s going to take care of him? If the kids can look after him or willing to give up inheritance as care fees will eat away etc. if I were you, I’d ask him if he’s willing to put you on the deeds. As you’ve contributed to the house and his lifestyle and health. Don’t get frightened by the bitter bats as I like to think of some posters. If you divorce your husband, your marital home, which you contributed to in the last 10 years will be seen as a marital asset.

Dh and I own a house jointly I have three children (1 with him) we will split the house/money three ways.

But you would have paid all of that on top of rent had you not been living, rent free, in your husband’s house. I simply don’t understand why you think you have any claim for your children on the house. All I’d expect in your shoes is a life interest if DH dies first, so you’re not evicted when widowed.

I think I’d start foaming at the mouth if my other half suggested I leave part of my house (fully paid up by me within 6 months of us living together) to his children.

Where is his pension going and how are the monthly outgoings split at the moment with you working full time and him being retired.

You should get life interest in the house and then it should be split between his children. Maybe with any capital you paid going to your child.

If he’s now not paying for any monthly outgoings while you pay all of them and he’s building a pot of money to give to his children that would seem to be unfair.

I do know someone who married a guy who owned 5 properties outright when she met him he had no children when they met (now have one together)
She had two children from a previous relationship, he has written into his will that all of the houses are to be split evenly between there child and her two children. She didn't ask for this and she's aware that it puts her other children in a much better financial position one day than if she hadn't met him.
Again, she didn't ask he offered and she's obviously very grateful.
If he hadn't offered she wouldn't have asked, it's not her money it's her husbands.
You should have brought this up when you moved in together, the only conversation left to have now is that you want to put money aside for your children and want to reduce what you pay towards the running of your home. Although you live there so you'll have to contribute something.
You say you work full time so let's say you bring home £2000 per month.
Half of council tax/energy/running a car and food is (averaging my bills)
Is around £600. Maybe suggest a figure like that and then keep £700 for yourself and £700pm in a savings account for your own kids one day.