leaving children & step children our house in our will.

My children will inherit from me and their father. My DP’s children will inherit from him and their mother.

My mum has re-married, the house belongs to her, but if she goes first my step-dad will be allowed to live in it until he passes away and then we'll inherit. I'm fine with that. He hasn't fucked anything up for me. He makes my mum very happy and is a good man. They've already even together 20 years and it may well be decades more. You seem to have some weird opinion that step-children all hate their step-parents and only care about inheriting money. That's rather sad.

Well it depends. The house is a marital asset so if they were to get divorced then she’d likely get half of it. Given half of it is effectively hers then she could contest a will that bequeathed more than half of it to anyone who wasn’t her.

me neither.

op, does his will leave the house to you? Or his kids? Or both? Are you going to be homeless if he dies?

Are your children also his children?

Exactly

if you loved that man and were grateful for giving you all that money , all that life, that house for free while you are both alive and even after he dies, how on earth you have the heart to imagine him dead and putting your kids into the inheritance picture....that is very very low class

literally she is living rent free in his house and can keep doing so without any care of the world, but she dreams his dead, asking stranger how to fuck up his bio kids. -in a nutshell

of course people know the law
Most second and third wives usually take the house and fuck up the bio kids
Sometimes they live in it until they die and still fuck up the kids who at that time might be over 60 themselves

What do you mean? There is no legal requirement for OP's husband to leave anything to his step children in his will.

I don't want to sound like I'm 'money grabbing'

Maybe not, but you do

My Dad is now mortgage free and has sorted out his will.
He re-married in 2023.
His will states if his new wife survives him, she will live in that house until either she dies or chooses to sell. If she chooses to re-marry, she is to sell the house.
Once the house is sold, it is split equally between her and his three children (I am one of the three children).
His new wife has a teenage daughter who won’t profit from the sale of the house.
I can’t imagine why she would or should?
His new wife doesn’t contribute to any bills at all as she only works an hour a day on a term-time contract.

If my Dad chose to split the sale of the house to include his wife’s daughter then that would be absolutely up to him. It is his house.

If your husband became mortgage free while you were still only dating, I wouldn’t dream of asking him to include your children.

I'm in a similar situation. I'm renting and he owns a house. We've been together over 4 years and are going to move in together soon. Really you should have talked about it before you got married. Some people believe once you're married you have an equal share in everything...the law thinks that...other people don't. It's important to decide how you both feel and get your wills written up if he doesn't want you to inherit it all.

We've decided that, once we marry if something happens to him down the line I can stay living in the house. But, once I pass away, the house goes to whoever he wants as he is buying it for us with his money. So I imagine his adult children will inherit it. I'm fine with that. My daughter is very young (5yo) and she doesn't have a dad, so he is a dad to her and he adores her, so I do hope he does leave her something as well but that's his decision.

OP, I think you should stop investing your time and money into an asset which belongs to your husband and in which you and your children have no interest.

And redo your will after you marry, which you shouldn't do in the first place.

It looks like 95% of posters on this thread have absolutely no clue about the legal implications of being married!

This is the second recent post where people seem too embarrassed to discuss finances and just assume. You should have discussed this when moving in instead of paying for things that have no relevance in terms of ownership of the house - if he dies first has he made provisions for you to stay in the home or would it pass to sc immediately? I would rather have saved my money for my own kids than contribute to a house he was fine paying for before you moved in

It’s a difficult conversation but I would tell your husband how you feel. It might not be that your children are left part of the house but a small lump sum, or maybe you could take out life insurance and leave it to them? Explain how you've contributed and go forward from there. I was in a similar position that I moved into my husband's house & contributed to bills etc but it’s different in that my own inheritance paid the mortgage off. I don't have any children of my own but I am not leaving any 'share' of inheritance to my stepchild. We've been together for over 10 years and it was still a difficult conversation to have but if you know where you stand you can start to make preparation for your own children if you want to.

I agree.

I also think that if you do decide to marry later in life you should have conversations about this at the outset so you both know exactly where you stand.

As a side note I don’t plan to ever remarry. I own and would like my children to inherit.

It does sort of seem that although you pay for day to day costs you won’t have built up equity by paying the mortgage. Does he have a retirement income? I don’t think it’s unreasonable to say you feel you need to invest for your own retirement/ something for your children to inherit and he needs to shoulder his share of bills.

I can't see what you plan to give his children when you die; how much have you set aside for them? It is reasonable to set that up to be an equal amount to whatever he is leaving yours, even if that is £0. It isn't reasonable for you to take his children's inheritance, being allowed to live in his house for a few years to sort yourself out is fair.

I think it's pretty normal for him to think about you and his children inheriting from his estate. Your children would inherit from your estate.

This is why I would never marry again, I wouldn't want anyone but my own children to inherit anything.

Nope he doesn't. He had no savings, lived in rented accommodation and spent what he earned. I love him but he is absolutely shit with money.